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i_wanna_blue
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30 Jan 2009, 2:10 pm

It's a simple question. Do you long for the affection of others? Or if this affection is lacking, is it of no real concern to you?
I guess you could look at it, the other way. Do you show others affection and how does being an aspie/autie influence the way you show it?

For me, there are only two people who I actually show any affection towards. My mom, and brother. To others I may enjoy their company, but won't show any signs of real affection. I find it rather difficult. Do I long for others affection? Yes, sometimes. However I usually feel that I am too distant to recieve theirs. What is your take on this subject?



Acacia
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30 Jan 2009, 3:07 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:
Do you long for the affection of others?
Yes. Although, in a more muted and subdued way than I have in the past.
i_wanna_blue wrote:
Or if this affection is lacking, is it of no real concern to you?
No. The desire for affection is there, but I think my concern for it has been reduced by more than 10 years of confusion, rejection, pain, and humiliation as a result of striving after affection.
i_wanna_blue wrote:
Do you show others affection and how does being an aspie/autie influence the way you show it?
I show affection to my son. I always love him, and try to show him genuine emotions, the only way I know how. I don't show affection to anyone else because there are no other significant people in my life to show affection to. Being an aspie means that my signals for desiring and giving affection are often skewed or incorrect. I frequently need to explain in detail how it is that I feel, because my facial expressions and body language betray me with wrong messages.


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Padium
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30 Jan 2009, 3:12 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:
It's a simple question. Do you long for the affection of others? Or if this affection is lacking, is it of no real concern to you?
I guess you could look at it, the other way. Do you show others affection and how does being an aspie/autie influence the way you show it?

For me, there are only two people who I actually show any affection towards. My mom, and brother. To others I may enjoy their company, but won't show any signs of real affection. I find it rather difficult. Do I long for others affection? Yes, sometimes. However I usually feel that I am too distant to recieve theirs. What is your take on this subject?


I need the affection of others, its hard to explain why, but I do. The only one I can really show affection to is my 5 year old brother. I am very child like in how I show my affection, and unfortunatly, I don't think there are too many people out there that like that.



Evenflowman454
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30 Jan 2009, 4:09 pm

yeah i long for affection from mainly peers but it never happens. i just want them to talk to me, but they never do and i know that this is the source of my depression, since i spend most of the day at school. I really only show affection to family and cats, and I think i show any kind of affection to my peers is incorrect and because of this many never talk, approach, or even like me.


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TheMidnightJudge
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30 Jan 2009, 5:18 pm

I like affection.
I had a dream last night where I was jumping onto appliances like washing machines and jumping down. I can't remember for sure but I may have been dressed like Batman. Anyway, there were a lot of people and they completely ignored me, and then I felt horrible. I must be an attention whore at heart.


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zeichner
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30 Jan 2009, 5:22 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:
It's a simple question. Do you long for the affection of others?

Simple answer - yes.

i_wanna_blue wrote:
Or if this affection is lacking, is it of no real concern to you?

It concerns me, but I don't know what to do about it - so I tend to put it out of my mind.

i_wanna_blue wrote:
I guess you could look at it, the other way. Do you show others affection and how does being an aspie/autie influence the way you show it?

I hug my mother, my sister & my niece (that's pretty much my immediate family.) I used to have people in my life (girlfriends) who I showed genuine affection to, but not for a very long time. After my relationship with my last girlfriend ended (about 25 years ago) I seem to have lost the knack of forming close relationships (or maybe those early relationships were flukes.)

i_wanna_blue wrote:
To others I may enjoy their company, but won't show any signs of real affection. I find it rather difficult. Do I long for others affection? Yes, sometimes. However I usually feel that I am too distant to recieve theirs.

Yes - that's exactly how it is for me.


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