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Cade
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20 Dec 2005, 11:08 am

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Last edited by Cade on 11 Feb 2006, 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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20 Dec 2005, 11:45 am

Rach wrote:
Do people, family members, friends etc tell you you dont have asperger's? someone with a big influence in my life is telling me i dont and as she is older i naturally want to believe her. Anyone else get told they're not?


My mother said the same thing until she went to an Aspergers seminar with me (I made her) and she came out convinced that I had AS. It was as simple as that. And she was a psychologist at the time (retired now).

We don't often fit the stereotype (or the child version stereotype) and not many people are as good at recognizing adult AS as they are at child AS.

And for someone who doesn't know either, I would hesitate in putting full faith in their opinion. --I would actually hesistate in putting full faith in anyone who hasn't dealt extensively with the full range of functioning and ages of the Autistic Spectrum. Many people truly do think they know. But they aren't experienced enough to identify all the ranges. So many people are told they don't have such-and-such and end up slipping through the cracks.

Which is a shame.

If you are interested in finding out, my suggestion to you is to find a professional who is VERY experienced with all ranges of ages and functioning, especially adult high-functioning AS and then see them.

It's great to get other opinions. But don't let them lead you astray from seeking an experienced professional opinion. But beware: many professionals think they're experienced. If you do seek this confirmation out, ask the person about who they've diagnosed as to what ages and ranges of functioning, and how many. A good amount of skepticism is always handy, even with professionals who are supposed to know what they're doing.

I, unfortunately, went to a child psychologist the first time around, asked no questions as to his background experience (the term "child psychologist" should have tipped me off) and he disagreed with AS. Thankfully, I am stubborn when I feel I'm right and so I sought out an assessment at a local Autism center where they tested/interviewed me and interviewed my mother and my AS was confirmed.


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chamoisee
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25 Dec 2005, 1:34 pm

Yeah, and this is common. What it is, is that these people are superficial- they think that you look normal, therefore you must be. They seem to assume that aspie= retarded, and so if you aren't retarded, you must be normal. They have told me that I don't have Asperger's even when in fact they haven't got the faintest idea of what Asperger's is!! !

They can't see that our thought processes are different or that the way we experience the world is not the same, or that our sensory experiences differ significantly from theirs. I started asking the normals in my life a lot of questions; such as: "Does it bother you to touch cotton balls? No? How about frosted glass? Aluminum? When you see osmething beautiful or a color that you like, do you feel as though you're getting high on it, or lost in it, and you don't notice anything else around you?" and so on.... They stopped accusing me of being normal after I asked them about a hundred of these sort of questions and comparing our views and experiences, and it was interesting to discover how differently they perceive things.



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25 Dec 2005, 4:52 pm

People universally think I am wierd but won't tell me why.
My job initially said I didn't have it, now they think it might be to their advantage to say I have it so they have.
My parents believe everything is volitional so they think I'm just asocial and "bad" as a child. My mom is trying to wrap her brain around that I can have this and not be impaired in every area of my life.
NTs think too rigidly and in straight lines. I may be rule based, but at least my rules are flexible. And I am able to think outside the box.


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MsTriste
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25 Dec 2005, 6:38 pm

What a great topic. I've had this problem too ever since I "discovered" AS this past January. I"m 42 now. My mother is a PhD in a field where she does lots of reading/research, and when I told her about it I was pretty sure she'd read at least as much about it as I had and have the same "aha" experience I did. NOPE. Her reply was about two sentences long (we pretty much only communicate by email), one of which was "I don't think you have AS because I don't remember you being clumsy as a child. In fact, you took ballet all those years". Yeah, and I worked my butt off at it, too. But what was interesting to me is that she obviously chose to ignore all the other things in my past and present that are very obviously AS and pick out one thing that she didn't think fit. In any event, she's not been supportive or understanding. I think she has AS too and is in extreme denial about it.

Other people have not been supportive either. I work in behavioral health, and I told some of my coworkers who at first were supportive but who have now used it against me. I'm going to quit this job, and NEVER mention it to a coworker again.

My boyfriend doesn't get a lot of the things that bother me. He believes me, and he wants to understand, but he just can't seem to understand why it's not okay for him to invite people over to the house without telling me first, for instance. I tell him again and again, and he just doesn't get it. He's really a nice guy, so I think it must just be an NT not really getting the AS thing.

Now that I think about it, not a single person in my life (not that there are many) has been supportive about this.

Everybody will readily admit that there's something about me that's not quite right, though. It feels really good to read posts here and feel like I'm not the only one who's felt like I was born on the wrong planet. (GREAT web title, by the way!! !!)



techstepgenr8tion
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25 Dec 2005, 7:27 pm

Rach wrote:
Do people, family members, friends etc tell you you dont have asperger's? someone with a big influence in my life is telling me i dont and as she is older i naturally want to believe her. Anyone else get told they're not?


They used to all the time but now I think I've gotten better at putting it in a context where they really don't see me calling myself abnormal - if anything it just sounds like one of those 'I have ADHD' or 'I'm lactose intolerant' type factoids.


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26 Dec 2005, 12:21 pm

aylissa wrote:
"I don't think you have AS because I don't remember you being clumsy as a child. In fact, you took ballet all those years".


You should inform her that not all Aspies are clumsy or clumsy to the same degree even, hehe. ;) S'why it isn't included in the DSM or ICD. Maybe that'll have a little more sway. Though if she's a disbeliever now, she'd maybe even doubt a professional diagnosis. Some people just ain't ready to hear it until they start believing it, themselves. :?


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sparkplugloy
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26 Dec 2005, 1:21 pm

My parents and brother do not think I have AS because, although they see that I am weird and have some characteristics, they do not want a child who is autistic or who has anything that makes him different from normality (like who is sick, or ADHD, or anything).
I was diagnosed because I met a neuropsychologist at age eighteen on my own.
My classmates see I am special, but they do now know much about AS, and now in university (which is last year and this school year), they do not really mind and just accept me and like me as I am. This is, at least, what I have been told by one of them.


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26 Dec 2005, 4:36 pm

aylissa wrote:
I"m 42 now.
hmm. do i smell a kindred spirit?
Quote:
My mother...does lots of reading/research, and when I told her about it I was pretty sure she'd read at least as much about it as I had and have the same "aha" experience I did. NOPE.
sounds like my mom.
Quote:
But what was interesting to me is that she obviously chose to ignore all the other things in my past and present that are very obviously AS and pick out one thing that she didn't think fit. In any event, she's not been supportive or understanding. I think she has AS too and is in extreme denial about it.
my mom is aspergery but she thinks AS is some form of mental retardation. hence her denial of mine and hers.

Quote:
Other people have not been supportive either. I work in behavioral health, and I told some of my coworkers who at first were supportive but who have now used it against me. I'm going to quit this job, and NEVER mention it to a coworker again.
*shakes head in disbelief* OK. I know I shouldn't be wierded out that someone has exactly the same experience as me....Oh, whew. You figured it out before they tried to fire you...not like me.

Quote:
Now that I think about it, not a single person in my life (not that there are many) has been supportive about this.
that's what you think. you're here now.

Quote:
Everybody will readily admit that there's something about me that's not quite right, though. It feels really good to read posts here and feel like I'm not the only one who's felt like I was born on the wrong planet. (GREAT web title, by the way!! !!)
yahoo! welcome welcome!


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26 Dec 2005, 5:58 pm

Perhaps there should be more websites like this one - myths about AS - to combat such assumptions?



toonaspie
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26 Dec 2005, 6:12 pm

Everytime I tell someone new I would meet or someone I am just getting to know about my Asperger's they give me the same old five word response...

"You dont seem like it."

Eventually they find out how sorry they were for assuming that.

As for family, they just ignore the fact that it's Asperger's and just say it's just me.