morals dilema

Post Reply New Topic

So I was just wondering what everyone here thought about this? In general do you guys find it morally per say right to become friends with someone who is mean to others to avoid being bullied yourself?

Well I wouldn't become friends with this person anyway. If your stance is not to be mean to others then this person will most likely be mean to you even if you're considered a friend. Morally speaking if you feel that what he/she is doing is wrong, then maybe you should not associate yourself with this person at all.

Seems like a generally naive idea to me.

1.If you could befriend the bully then he probably wouldn't bully you anyway.
2.If you "make peace" with the bully, you probably trade harassment for exploitation.

Better ideas:

If you can, avoid bullies; make friends with people who aren't afraid of them instead.

I would not be able to do it. I do think it would not be moral, but the biggest problem for me would be my own self-respect.

I feel that befriending the bully as a means to keep yourself 'safe' is the easy way out, in other words, a cop out.

Please try to take the higher road on this one, I do understand how difficult being bullied can be, but I'd much rather be pegged by the bully as being say ...a weirdo, than loose the respect of all of the people being harrassed by this person. Eventually, whether you agree with him or not, everyone will see you as having the same ideas as the bully. Guilt by association.

It would be better, wiser, to avoid such a person entirely. Becoming friends with such a person would be the same as condoning his or her behavior. If for some reason you have to interact with the bully, as for instance in a work situation, or if you're in a school or sports group, keep your distance as much as possible and just be civil or sportsman-like and no more. And also, a good piece of advice would be to find the biggest, strongest, person who is not a bully and strike up a friendship with him or her. Like in that movie where the scrawny geek becomes friends with the brawny guy who acts as his body guard.

i am a very loyal friend and i care a lot about people. i am dx'ed with AS.
however, if someone hurts me or says something i lash out big time. i rarely do so unprovoked, and i rarely instigate anything that is INTENTIONALLY mean or nasty. but i can be blunt, verbose and fairly inappropriate without even knowing i am.

i don't like to side with anyone really.
i have always been an individual and i have always been a loner.
i float around in that manner.

I also tend to step in and say something to others who are bullies or plain nasty to others - whether out in the world or on WP.
i had a reputation for the same thing in primary school. some things never change.

I don't think it would be possible. The second I saw them mistreating somebody else, the friendship would shatter like fragile glassware carried by a dyspraxic Aspie.

What you've described is something the entire country's been doing for the past eight years. Ever since 9/11 George W. has been the biggest bully on the planet. And we Americans, through our spineless Congress, has made nice to him every time he stepped on other countries. But the madness of it is that all the power that we gave him to do that is eventually going to be turned on us. That's always the way bullies work. Never ever make nice to a bully. You might avoid a fight today, but he'll turn on you and you'll get it twice as bad tomorrow. So yes, it is very immoral. And it's bad for your health too.