Cruel(lest) ways you've been rejected?

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Whimsi-Cal
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08 Mar 2009, 4:31 am

hale_bopp wrote:
ForgottenDarkness wrote:
In my area, I am the one doing the rejecting.

Some girls just don't get it so I have to publicly embarrass them to have them slump off and not try and get me to go out on a date with them.

My ex I went on a walk with, i had stashed my bike in the woods we got to a sign that says no dumping with a fine on it. I told her "it was a small price to pay." took my bike and sped off in the distance.


Thats actually really f***ing low tbh.


I agree. What you're doing is despicable if true. There are ways to get your feelings across without being a total jerk about it. Someone, somewhere is going to tug on your heartstrings and then just when you think its all going to work out she is going to give you a little of your own medicine.... ...then and only then you'll look back at your life and realize you did the same thing to others.



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08 Mar 2009, 4:39 am

ScrewyWabbit wrote:
The absolute worst was about 20 years ago. I was on a conference call with a bunch of people and I thought at least some of them were my friends. I had to go, so said my goodbyes, and somehow was fumbling for the button on my cordless phone to hang up and heard them continuing to talk, so I stayed on the line. As soon as they thought I had hung up, the topic switched to how much of a loser they all thought I was... man that hurt.


They hate us because they fear us. Many of us have skills and a passion that they could never know. Even when NTs try to reach out to us it comes in the form of a rejection. I'm very determined and unafraid to challenge them. I never cared to play sports but in gym class (filled with basketball players on the team) had a 1v1 basketball tournament. First time I won they thought it was a fluke. I won two more times and people were freaked out. I beat one of the best players on the team. If anything it earned at least a little respect from the jocks. One of them asked me to come to prom (I was a freshman) and as he put it, "I'll even find you a girl". lol WOW Thanks!! ! I'm very competitive. I took a bowling class my senior year and ended up on the leader board with a 245, 270+, and yes I bowled a 300 one time in my life. I was considered kind of a nerd because I would bring my own ball. Then again if you want to be good at bowling you have to have a professionally drilled ball with a counter weight. The main coach begged me to join the school teams every year but I didn't want to. I mean even in floor hockey I won with two uncoordinated girls on my team.



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08 Mar 2009, 7:38 am

I've had so many rejections, it's kind of hard to say which was the cruelest...

In the recent past, my latest "best friend" was a girl I was friends with for two years. During that time she did lots of s**t that wasn't nice to me, but she seemed more reliable and predictable than most, and she did seem to really want to be my friend. I had to leave town to move in with some family because I couldn't find a job and could no longer afford to live by myself, and I told her this about a month before I went. She knew exactly what date I planned to leave, because she'd told me she would give me her old ipod (she'd just been given a new one) on the day I left, as she had to get all of her files off it first. We planned to go out my last night in town to our favorite bar. Right before we went she asked me if it was alright to meet up with a guy she'd been seeing for a few weeks, and I said that was fine. This guy was actually dating another girl, and they were all having some kind of threesome. To make a long story short I was ignored all night long, aside from a short period when a friend of this guy I'd never met before decided to tell me about how I was boring and sexually repressed. We went back to my friend's apartment (this was normal for us as we lived in the same complex), and I waited for the guy and his girlfriend to leave so that I could have a bit of final time to say goodbye to my best friend. They didn't, and it became kind of awkward. Finally I said, "so whats up guys, what are we going to do?", and the guy looked at me and said, "what are we going to do? well, i'm going to have sex with these ladies, and you're going to go home". I got up and walked out. I had no response. I felt so stupid, for so many reasons. For not seeing that no one had wanted me around all night anyway. For not seeing that what I thought was a celebration of my last night was just me being invited as an afterthought. For not realizing that someone I'd stood up for and tried to protect for two years had no intention of doing the same for me.

I didn't contact her again, and it was a year before she contacted me. She apologized for not being supportive of me when I was having difficulties, but she never once mentioned that particular incident. She married that guy. Recently she wrote me to ask me if she'd given me her old ipod, because she knew she'd meant to but she wasn't sure if she had. It was all the more a reminder that I am a social freak that I remember so clearly why she never gave me her ipod and she has no clue. She chose getting laid over spending a final night with a good friend she might never see again, and how can I blame her? that's the normal thing to do.

Also still fresh and stinging - My college friends had a reunion at the house of one guy who'd just moved to my town, about a year or two after we'd graduated (before I had to move due to lack of work). I found out only after one guy who was genuinely nice called to ask why I'd not shown up for the first day. When I met them for dinner on the second day I was pretty much ignored, but that same nice guy invited me to go rafting with them the following day, and I said great, just call me and let me know when and where to meet you. No one ever called. I wasn't surprised, as they "forgot" to invite me most of the time in college too. At least this time I was aware enough not to inundate them with unreturned calls.

Things like this are why I don't really have any friends anymore. People just don't like me. It's hard to see why I should continue to try to be liked when they just don't like me and I continue to be hurt. I am not a likable human being, and I'm fine with that. Although I do wish people would just be honest with me and not try to "be nice". The kind of being nice where you try to pretend that you like someone even when you actually hate them is, truthfully, NOT nice. Eh, whatever.



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08 Mar 2009, 12:09 pm

go_around wrote:
Things like this are why I don't really have any friends anymore. People just don't like me. It's hard to see why I should continue to try to be liked when they just don't like me and I continue to be hurt. I am not a likable human being, and I'm fine with that.


My thoughts exactly. Word by word. And based on similar experiences to yours. Your first story reminds me of one of my classics:

I had an acquaintance, we had been becoming close friends, had been out together a couple times too. She kept insisting that one day I take time off work to meet her downtown and accompany her to buy a vibrator at a porn store (she didn't want to go alone). I kept explaining to her that I couldn't afford the reduction in salary for the time off, and that I didn't want to go to a porn store. One day she finally dropped the issue. Some time later my birthday was approaching so she said she wanted to make a fun day for me, we'd go downtown and have brunch and go shopping and more. I suppose you can imagine what happened. I came to the meeting place (half an hour drive on the highway from my home), which by chance happened to be the corner of the porno store. She said "let's go in a minute", how could I refuse on my birthday fun day? I agreed, we went in, spent about 1.5 hours there for her to choose her vibrator. When we finally came out of the store, she said she was in a hurry, her daughter was alone in the house and she must go, so she took me to a bad diner down the street, bought me a quick cup of coffee and a roll and was on her way. My "fun day" lasted 2 hours, and I had no other plans for the day. I was such an idiot in those days (up to my forties) that I didn't even realize that it had been a set-up till years later.


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08 Mar 2009, 12:33 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Silvervarg wrote:
*Lots of me talking.*



Dude, one thing you gotta understand....you can try explaining how you are to your folks, 'til the cows come home. They don't see life out your eyes, so they're not gonna get it. My Dad doesn't, and I understand that.

I know (somewhere deep down), but it's still annoying. Atlest he should know (even if he don't understand) that my reactions are not something I pull for fun.

Whimsi-Cal wrote:
They hate us because they fear us. Many of us have skills and a passion that they could never know. Even when NTs try to reach out to us it comes in the form of a rejection. I'm very determined and unafraid to challenge them. I never cared to play sports but in gym class (filled with basketball players on the team) had a 1v1 basketball tournament. First time I won they thought it was a fluke. I won two more times and people were freaked out. I beat one of the best players on the team. If anything it earned at least a little respect from the jocks. One of them asked me to come to prom (I was a freshman) and as he put it, "I'll even find you a girl". lol WOW Thanks!! ! I'm very competitive. I took a bowling class my senior year and ended up on the leader board with a 245, 270+, and yes I bowled a 300 one time in my life. I was considered kind of a nerd because I would bring my own ball. Then again if you want to be good at bowling you have to have a professionally drilled ball with a counter weight. The main coach begged me to join the school teams every year but I didn't want to. I mean even in floor hockey I won with two uncoordinated girls on my team.

Hey, you are one of us rare Aspies that are very coordinationskilled.

Greentea wrote:
outlier, I've become invisible too in the last few years. Ever since I learned how not to rub people the wrong way, what I get is invisibility. It's better than making enemies everywhere, at least for me in my situation, though not less painful.

It's better to know that they're all idiots and despice both them and their onesighted, flawded opinions. Bring up the narcesist (spelling?) in you, you are better than they'll ever be and you know it. :twsted:

Basic human behaviour: People like you as long as they gain from your company. No one of them sticks around 'till the end. We are all selfish.


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gina-ghettoprincess
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08 Mar 2009, 1:37 pm

ForgottenDarkness wrote:
In my area, I am the one doing the rejecting.

Some girls just don't get it so I have to publicly embarrass them to have them slump off and not try and get me to go out on a date with them.

My ex I went on a walk with, i had stashed my bike in the woods we got to a sign that says no dumping with a fine on it. I told her "it was a small price to pay." took my bike and sped off in the distance.


That's really mean...kinda funny, but I feel bad for the girl. And we ARE supposed to be further along the evolutionary scale than that kinda fratboy BS.


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08 Mar 2009, 4:11 pm

ForgottenDarkness wrote:
In my area, I am the one doing the rejecting.

Some girls just don't get it so I have to publicly embarrass them to have them slump off and not try and get me to go out on a date with them.

My ex I went on a walk with, i had stashed my bike in the woods we got to a sign that says no dumping with a fine on it. I told her "it was a small price to pay." took my bike and sped off in the distance.
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm dying.



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08 Mar 2009, 4:42 pm

ForgottenDarkness wrote:
mitharatowen wrote:
Wow... I have been rejected in the cruelest way possible... and I didn't even know it until just now.

I just discovered something very..
.. painful.

:|


no you haven't, I haven't rejected you yet...


Best Forgotten topic

Reject. :P :twisted:


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08 Mar 2009, 7:36 pm

AceOfSpades wrote:
ForgottenDarkness wrote:
In my area, I am the one doing the rejecting.

Some girls just don't get it so I have to publicly embarrass them to have them slump off and not try and get me to go out on a date with them.

My ex I went on a walk with, i had stashed my bike in the woods we got to a sign that says no dumping with a fine on it. I told her "it was a small price to pay." took my bike and sped off in the distance.
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm dying.


Would you like it.... if someone did that to you?

It's a really sarcastic, smart arse, nasty way to dump someone.



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08 Mar 2009, 7:58 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Would you like it.... if someone did that to you?

It's a really sarcastic, smart arse, nasty way to dump someone.

I would also add "potentially cowardly" and a very certain immature to that description.



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08 Mar 2009, 8:06 pm

I'd also like to change "...kinda funny, but..." to "maybe slightly funny if someone on TV did it, but actually really freakin' harsh".


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08 Mar 2009, 8:53 pm

Maybe nobody have interst in reading this, I just saw a chance to spit it out...

A day a few years ago I saw the chance of my life to get to know other people with Aspergers Syndrome and to have some fun. It was a friendly outdoor meeting in spring that was announced as "come as yourself, we are all odd"

There was one girl there who I had met before so I kinda followed her around. I thought that I could trust her and thought she would help me around to get into the group. She in her turn was very social and knew everyone else in the group and I was really really uncertain of beeing there. I thought she was okey as we had met a few times before.

At one moment the group stopped at a place. I wanted to look closer to a shop or something. The girl promised to wait for me outside. As I have all my life felt myself unimportant to the people in my company I was very very affraid of beeing forgotten. As I never had any close friends nobody really had paid attention to my presence and therefore it hasnt really matters to people if I was with them or not. Of course I felt the same here and I had tried to make this clear to this girl. I wanted to make sure all the time that she would wait for me and she said yes she will.

So when I came out then both the group and the girl where gone. As I had no mobilephone I couldnt call her to ask what direction they went. So there my nightmare came true. I was standing there alone and forgotten, just as in my childhood. One of my biggest fear in beeing abandoned had come true. Later on the girl said she thought I already went with the group and that she had forgotten about me and discovered it too late.

That was the worst rejection experience ever. :cry: I really felt as nobody to them. Since then I havent got to do with anybody who has Aspergers again as I was so hurt in my heart.

To approach this forum now is my first renewing attempts to approach people of "my own kind" again after many years....and I cant say Im less affraid today... I tried to post in the "Hi Im new forums" but nobody replied me there, so I dont have much hope I wouldnt be forgotten here too...


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08 Mar 2009, 9:08 pm

xalepax wrote:
Maybe nobody have interst in reading this, I just saw a chance to spit it out...

A day a few years ago I saw the chance of my life to get to know other people with Aspergers Syndrome and to have some fun. It was a friendly outdoor meeting in spring that was announced as "come as yourself, we are all odd"

There was one girl there who I had met before so I kinda followed her around. I thought that I could trust her and thought she would help me around to get into the group. She in her turn was very social and knew everyone else in the group and I was really really uncertain of beeing there. I thought she was okey as we had met a few times before.

At one moment the group stopped at a place. I wanted to look closer to a shop or something. The girl promised to wait for me outside. As I have all my life felt myself unimportant to the people in my company I was very very affraid of beeing forgotten. As I never had any close friends nobody really had paid attention to my presence and therefore it hasnt really matters to people if I was with them or not. Of course I felt the same here and I had tried to make this clear to this girl. I wanted to make sure all the time that she would wait for me and she said yes she will.

So when I came out then both the group and the girl where gone. As I had no mobilephone I couldnt call her to ask what direction they went. So there my nightmare came true. I was standing there alone and forgotten, just as in my childhood. One of my biggest fear in beeing abandoned had come true. Later on the girl said she thought I already went with the group and that she had forgotten about me and discovered it too late.

That was the worst rejection experience ever. :cry: I really felt as nobody to them. Since then I havent got to do with anybody who has Aspergers again as I was so hurt in my heart.

To approach this forum now is my first renewing attempts to approach people of "my own kind" again after many years....and I cant say Im less affraid today... I tried to post in the "Hi Im new forums" but nobody replied me there, so I dont have much hope I wouldnt be forgotten here too...


I'm sorry that happened to you, Xalepax. :( I have to admit that it would bother me far more to be left out like that when with others that have AS, than it would with an NT group. You're not forgotten here. This is a pretty accepting place, and I hope that you feel welcomed, because everybody needs a place to belong.



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08 Mar 2009, 9:13 pm

xalepax wrote:
I tried to post in the "Hi Im new forums" but nobody replied me there, so I dont have much hope I wouldnt be forgotten here too...

Ok, I see what you've done there.
Go back to that forum. Use the new topic button (top left) to start a new thread. Give it a name or title or something in the subject line ("hi" will do if you are stuck for a title). Then post your introduction in the posting box.

You will get an entirely different result if you follow this process.



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08 Mar 2009, 9:37 pm

serenity wrote:
I hope that you feel welcomed, because everybody needs a place to belong.


Thanks, yes exactly!

pandd wrote:
You will get an entirely different result if you follow this process.


Right I hesitated to do that, thought it was "safer" to use an already excisting topic. Other forums I have seen works diffrently and gets annoyed if you open new topics of the same subject all the time and not using the one and the same. But okey, this one is obviously diffrent, Its worth a try :wink:


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08 Mar 2009, 11:25 pm

xalepax wrote:
serenity wrote:
I hope that you feel welcomed, because everybody needs a place to belong.


Thanks, yes exactly!

pandd wrote:
You will get an entirely different result if you follow this process.


Right I hesitated to do that, thought it was "safer" to use an already excisting topic. Other forums I have seen works diffrently and gets annoyed if you open new topics of the same subject all the time and not using the one and the same. But okey, this one is obviously diffrent, Its worth a try :wink:


Yep.....sure is......


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