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Pook
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27 Feb 2009, 11:21 am

I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that." or the few times it has outright been stated. It is so demeaning to have people devalue the other abilities I have simply, because I don't fit into the standard mold.
Anyone else come across this condescending NT attitude?



Emor
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27 Feb 2009, 11:39 am

Urm, I can't relate to that. I just tend to get patronized _a lot_ by the teachers who read my file. I read it once, and it says I have a disability, but it doesn't specify, so I end up being sent out of class with a TA encase I struggle reading a test... I have a reading and writing age way above my age.
But, yeah, I don't think I've got this before. Seems an impolite thing to do...
EMZ=]



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27 Feb 2009, 12:49 pm

That is a just plain rude thing to say to someone. I wouldn't take it to heart.


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27 Feb 2009, 1:37 pm

Pook wrote:
I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that." or the few times it has outright been stated. It is so demeaning to have people devalue the other abilities I have simply, because I don't fit into the standard mold.
Anyone else come across this condescending NT attitude?


i am trying to learn to look past the way people look and act because there is so much more to persons than meets the eye. i can see you are an intelligent person from the way you write.



mackenzie
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27 Feb 2009, 2:15 pm

I feel like I get that response more often when I'm doing or thinking about things differently than when I'm doing them wrong. For example, my current math professor seems to think that I'm not very smart, and actually went so far as accusing me of cheating on our last exam, merely because I do the problems differently, even if I get them right. Granted, I didn't take my introductory math courses here, so I have a different mathematical background than most of the other students, and I'm also very bad at explaining my thinking. Which certainly doesn't help.



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27 Feb 2009, 3:13 pm

It could be a thing people just say and then you should not put to much value to it. But if it is mean as a disappointed reaction, to trigger you, than you should take it serious.

So the problem is probably, when do you need to take it serious? Probably when people give you pointers and advice to do it better next time.



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27 Feb 2009, 4:04 pm

I don't think it hasn't happened to me much but it just sounds rude for someone to do something like that. However, there are times when I may look like an idiot when I don't understand "the simplest of tasks."


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27 Feb 2009, 4:36 pm

If I like them, I ask them how they would feel if I was as smart on the common sense side as I am on the intellectual. I let them know i am human and the reduction in common sense is the price I have to pay for being so much smarter than them. :nerdy:

If I don't like them, I tell them off... :evil:


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Liresse
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27 Feb 2009, 4:54 pm

Pook wrote:
I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that." or the few times it has outright been stated. It is so demeaning to have people devalue the other abilities I have simply, because I don't fit into the standard mold.
Anyone else come across this condescending NT attitude?
I would say YESSS. But I also know that I often misread people and substitute a negative meaning for something I noticed them do (such as turn away or pause for too long or change the topic, etc).

Exception for my father. He has expressed in no uncertain terms that he's disappointed/disbelieving that I'm not as intelligent as he thought I should have been (because he thought he was highly intelligent and therefore if he was my father that I should be too). He's also the one who point-blank refuses that I have any autism at all and that I'm foolish for labelling myself or seeing a psychiatrist (he's a psychology graduate). (He thinks psychiatrists are stupid.)

I remember many times throughout my life when I tried to do laundry (or something) and failed, and he would get frustrated with me and say the Cantonese equivalent of "foolish." He never tried to make it easier for me - maybe because he has always believed in "if it's not working, you have to do more of it." (eg he's allergic to pollen so he believes he has to immerse himself in pollen to "get over it.") He applied this philosophy to every situation I failed in, as if this was a form of structured punishment that would help me improve, and that the self-deprecating/self-loathing i had would go away when I finally listened to him and got better as a result.

I suspect that's my dad's attitude rather than people's attitudes to me generally (although I really don't know sometimes - see above)... and besides, I don't know if he's really all that NT, lol.


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Last edited by Liresse on 27 Feb 2009, 5:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

mitharatowen
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27 Feb 2009, 4:58 pm

My mom used to say that to me all the time. My husband doesn't say that but a variant: "You should be smarter than that"



TheSpecialKid
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27 Feb 2009, 5:55 pm

Pook wrote:
I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that."


Now for something that might be a dumb question. But how exactly does that "look" looks like?



Mudboy
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27 Feb 2009, 11:48 pm

Image


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FePixie
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28 Feb 2009, 12:00 am

giggles @ ^^^

Yup - thats the very look 8O



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28 Feb 2009, 12:01 am

For all of my life, people have been saying to me, "You're so smart, how can you be so stupid?"


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Pook
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28 Feb 2009, 10:35 am

Cute kitty..Yeah that look :roll: :wink:

I don't think I would be as sensitive about it except I have a Anxiety Disorders dx which makes most interactions twice as difficult. If I'm not obsessing then I may have panic over any situation. That leaves very little evergy for actual work and feeling competent.
It has made employment for me near impossible it seems...



pandd
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28 Feb 2009, 4:26 pm

Pook wrote:
I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that." or the few times it has outright been stated. It is so demeaning to have people devalue the other abilities I have simply, because I don't fit into the standard mold.
Anyone else come across this condescending NT attitude?

I find outright refusal to believe that I do not get "it" or did not know better is much more common.