Why can't my friends understand /me/?

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I know about how AS makes it hard for me to pick up social ques, but yesterday one of my school friends played a pretty mean joke on me that made me wonder why it is that other people can't understand me.

Yesterday we were talking casualy about how annoying it is when I talk to people without lookign at them - usualy resulting in someone randomly trying to answer my question while the person I was asking originaly wonders off oblivious - and how hard it is for her to know when I'm upset. Today she brought in a set of flashcards for me to hold up with emotional states written on them. Which was pretty offensive yes, but what i want to know is, why can't she pick up on how I'm feeling?

(It's not as mean as it sounds, I once made myself a sign to hold up when in a bad mood that said 'Markus is not available right now. Please leave a message and go away' so it's not like she came up with the idea all on her own)

I'm not sure why they can't tell but one thing you can try is telling them exactly how you feel so there is no way they can say they didn't know.

I find that difficult, especialy when I never know when the people I'm talking to are listening or not, abnd always worry that they don't care about it. But it sure beats having a flashcard stapled to my forehead XD

I was more wondering if I have the same social mannerisms as she's used to in relation to feelings though. Shouldn't they be natural and pretty much universal?

You can ask if they can tell how you are feeling and get feedback from them and see what you can do to make it easier for them to tell. Can't say for certain without seeing your mannerisms and expressions.

I hope it's just something like me being quiet that stops her from being able to tell. I'd hate to have both sides of my conversation being confused, it's be awful for everyone involved. :S

Is there no way you can learn things like how to show your feelings without tapping people on the shoulder and telling them?

Well, one thing you can do talk to someone who's a good friend and rehearse emotional responses so that you'll have them ready when you need them. Another thing might be attending a class for people who are experiencing the same thing as you and working on emotional responses there.

There really are classes? o_O Like speech therapy?
I've only joked of such things!

I think there might be but I've never been to one. I was looking in the Yellow Pages once and saw an ad for a place that caters to autistic children who need help with social skills.

Wow. I'm going to take a look to see if I can find one near me. Thanks
Being handed flashcards is a clear sign that I need to work on that area I think XD

You can look under counselors, therapists, schools, etc until you find what you are looking for. I am not sure what it would be listed under but if you can't find one under one listing think of other possibilities because I'm not sure what it would be under. It might be under "social skill" and would be easiest if it were but I'm not for certain. You can look up "autism" and see what's listed under that. Hope you find one

Thanks, I'll definatly look it up the second I have the chance. I'm really hoping it's there now, it's soemthing I have wished was real for a few years now.

You're welcome, Aqueo. I just thought of something else. If you are in the US, there's a 211 line on the telephone and I think they have references although I'm not sure because I've never called it, just saw it on the news. Dialing 211 is another resource.

Sorry, I'm actualy from the UK. There might be a similar thing here though, but I don't know.

you should give her a set and tell her thats its just as hard for you to read her emotions

Haha, great idea TD124, it never actualy occured to me that could do that XD

well isnt that the problem.. we show emotions different, and we expect others to show emotions like we do.. so we misunderstand each other...