ever wonder that it didn't have to happen

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For the longest time I've been positive when it came to having aspergers and chose to look it from the view that look how much i've accomplished with aspergers instead of in spite of aspergers...this always kept me optimistic....but recently with the stress of graduating college and the realization of the world that is out there...i've started viewing it in a somewhat negative fashion of it DIDN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN....like rather than view how far i've come, i'm now comparing myself to others and seeing that they have it easier or what not and i'm also seeing the 1 in 150 rate of autism as something that doesn't affect 149 out of 150 but i happened to be that "lucky" one. I know this is pessimistic and its not like me to see it this way but lately i have and i'm wondering how other people deal with these or their views on it?

I have autism; other people have divorces or dead-end jobs or two-faced friends. It's not like I'm the only one with problems out there, even if I'm only 1 in 150 who has the particular problems associated with autism. As lives go, this one's OK, even with the annoying parts.

my autismaids doesnt get in my way because ive become the master of my own thoughts, that sucker fool has to get permission from me to affect my life anymore. its all in the mind, and can be masterd. its like eating a plate of scrambled eggs and jalpenos theres nothing too it really

I already have enough to worry about. Thinking to myself that I just happen to be 1 in 150 (of whatever the true figure is) will just cause more negativity in my life, & I don't need anymore negativity. Sometimes I do ask myself why it had to be me but then I realize that there isn't any point because I'm always going to be this way, I may as well just try my best to accomplish my goals. I don't really think aspergers gets in the way of that anyway since I'm studying at home.

I have AS, my wife has OCD, the cousin I grew up with has diabetes - as Gilda Radner wisely used to say:

"It's alllways somethin'; if it's not one thing, it's another. Goodnight my lil' Roseanne Rosannadanna."

For her it was cancer. I'll keep my AS, thanks.

I know it's not much consolation when you're feeling blue, but everybody has challenges, whether they care to admit it or not. You are in the fortunate position that in the more civilized nations your challenge is legally recognized as a disability, thereby making you eligible for many types of assistance you might not otherwise have access to.

Still in all, I know there are those moments when you know where you want to go and what you need to do, and you feel that magnetic force field that keeps you from moving forward, in spite of your most willful efforts. Hang in there, this, too, shall pass. Until the next time it happens.

When I found out I likely have AS, I was more relieved than anything else. Now I understood why I had the problems I had all these years.

Now, I'm somewhat in the "anger phase" about having AS. Why me? I know that worrying over it changes nothing, so I try not to focus on it too much. Can't seem to stop wondering what life would have been like if AS wasn't hamstringing so much of my ability to fit in with more "normal" people.

This too shall pass.

I can be happy about it one moment and angry about it the next. I once even got so upset that I thought 'mum should have listened to those doctors and had me aborted.' I get in some crazy depressed moods. Now I look back at that and I'm a little scared that I could get that upset.
I'm still not content with having AS. I need to work out some strategies.