Misunderstood Humor Due to Lack of Facial Expression?

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Has anyone else caused hurt feelings by attempting good natured teasing? I have learned the hard way to be very careful about this. I think I failed to communicate being facetious by a lack of body english and facial expression.

i dont think i hurt somebody by good natured teasing but have confused many many ppl of my humor, ppl have even told my mother that they cant tell if im being sarcastic or not, or if im laughing at their jokes or laughing at the piece of fuzz danging from their hair lol.

All the time. One of the symptoms that makes it difficult for me to mesh in groups.

Only with my mum, other people like my flat expression during sarcasm. There's a standup comedian like that.

I have this problem, as well. It doesn't help that I'm a sort of big guy, so I sometimes think people are scared to laugh if they aren't sure that I'm joking. Only my closest friends know laid-back, care-free, and sarcastic I truly am, and I forget that when I try to kid around with less familiar people, or strangers. The reactions of the less familiar, remind me that I have that typical aspie expression, or lack of.

I make a point now to refrain from joking around with others about the real or perceived defects of others. I stopped making personal humor when my mother told me that my jokes always came off as very serious and it sounded like I was trying to verbally wound another person. Even though I feel I have a unique and clever sense of humor, I have a very serious countenance so my words always come off harshly(at least so I realized after my mother informed me.)

I suppose that the rigorous facial expressions, the monotone voice, and th typical rigidness of an AS person work against clowning.

yep, all the time.

What generally seems to happen though is that people who bother to get to know you refer to your sense of humour as being 'dry', althoughthis is not my intention.

The last thing I wanttodo what with all the usual misunderstandings is give the impression that I'm trying to be clever.

I don't think I hurt people's feelings. Actually, people often think I'm joking when I'm being serious. I sound so flat people think I'm being deadpan all the time.

I sometimes tell jokes and people ask what I'm on about coz I don't do the right facial stuff but that's very rare coz usually I can't stop myself from grinning

Last edited by DeLoreanDude on 08 Apr 2009, 4:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I usually have those misunderstandings. My expression is always flat, so when i try to be sarcastic or ironic they're always like "what have you said?". Then i have to explain that it's has been a joke.

Story of my life.

Aged fifteen, I was invited over by a classmate on the spur of the moment. I had not been expecting this and I felt flattered and pleased, but also surprised and awkward. Returning from a bathroom trip I said to her, "Why didn't you tell me I had pen on my face?" This was meant to tease and also to sound 'normal' -- it was the sort of thing I'd heard the other kids at school saying to one another --, but because I was feeling so awkward I delivered it in a near-monotone and with a blank expression. She looked uncomfortable, said she hadn't noticed and apologised. I realised, of course, that she had taken me up wrongly, but I felt too alarmed and embarrassed over this even to smile at her to show it was all right.

My social skills have improved a great deal since then, and I've been able to turn this problem into a nice line in deadpan sarcasm, which is much appreciated by some people though it makes others uncomfortable. The classmate who invited me over is now, some years later, my best friend, and she likes my flatly-delivered humour very much, but even so I can sometimes overdo it with her -- once quite recently I inadvertently insulted her by saying she read slowly and not indicating properly that I was teasing. Fortunately she's an easy-going person.

Yes. Same thing happens to me often, and it's actually a concern of mine lately because of the reactions I've been getting. My solution? Add "just kidding" right after my statements. It helps... so far.

I have some similar problems. My old boss always told me I had a strange grin on my face. And, when I was in HS, I was in a singing competition, and really my only criticism was that I wasn't smiling when I was singing a song about love.

Once when I was eleven we had to practice interviews and the only thing the other kids could find wrong with mine was that I hadn't smiled enough. I thought that ridiculous. Why should I go round grinning like an idiot? I wanted to be taken seriously. I also have sometimes been told that I look bored when I am actually watching something with mild interest or just spacing out.

It happens to me a lot. When a rarely do joke, people think I maybe serious even though I'm not.

It has happened in my past. On occasions people sometimes don't know when I'm joking and when I'm not.