proud aspies really anger me

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Why is there 267 something posts in this off-topic topic?

There are people in this world (primarily India and P.R.China) who will abort a fetus if it's *female*. Aborting for autism would be a no-brainer to them.

And why do you find merit in these theories, may I ask?

Not sure about everyone else, but I AM PROUD, and not for the reasons you state either. I could not imagine my life any other way. Sure it is difficult to be in the situation that we are in but i think it has more to do with your mind set about it.

I am proud because I can often see things that others cannot, I have abilites that others don't. Sure I have difficulties everyday, but I would not give up being as Aspie just to live in the social box with everyone else. Why would you want to?

To have something, something else has to be given up. Ok, so we are not the best at fitting in with others, but why would you want to fit in with people who have such standards and protcol anyway? I think being an Aspie can show you who your REAL friends are.

Life is not easy, but i think their are far more advantages to being on this side than the other. And perhaps in a way i think Aspies are happier with their lives than NT's.....NT's act like they have perfect lives, but i think they are infact very misearble people.

I think that if you cannot be proud of who you are as a person, then you are just feeling sorry for yourself, Aspie or not.

True, but being depressed doesn't mean that you don't value your existence; otherwise, you wouldn't label yourself as a defect or a worthless person.

Do you realize that this is a AS community, to come up and say that you get angry whe an AS person says there proud to have AS, i'm sorry this is just me spit-ball'in .... but that dosen't sound like a smart move? Am i on target or off, plz let me know, i'm not trying to be rude .

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Last edited by timeisdead on 29 Mar 2009, 10:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

To the OP.

99% of people on this board are resigned to the idea that Asperger's can not be overcome. They refuse to say to themselves, "Something is wrong with me. I need to change." Granted that it is human nature to do this. But doing that is what it takes to be able to overcome this God forsaken disorder.

That is what I told myself.

Why should society be indulged like a spoiled child, having all the icky, bad things like people who are different taken away from them because they're too hard to deal with or even look at, only to suffer for it in the future when the world is bland and stagnant for lack of any variety? It wouldn't just hurt everyone who's disabled, but it would hurt the normals as well, depriving them of other experiences, viewpoints and just PEOPLE who could make life better, or at least more interesting. We're needed - not specifically as Aspies, but as people who have a significantly different take on the world that could lead to many great things if used right.

Me? I have a whole host of medical and mental issues, not just being on the spectrum, that most people think are awful and want to "fix." Things have been hard, yes. But if anyone took that away from me without me wanting to change it first myself, they would do huge offense and damage to me. They might even destroy me. Whatever troubles I face, it's mine to decide whether and how to face them, and the best thing someone can do to help me is to stand by my side and support my choices in whatever way they can.

Would I inflict my experience on a future generation? HELL NO. I want future generations to not be subjected to nigh-experimental medical and psychiatric treatments in the belief that anything is better than what they were born as. I want future generations to be informed about and have a choice in what's done to them as soon as they're aware of what's going on and can understand it. I want there to be competent authority figures to guide them and figure out how they can best live their lives as themselves rather than insulting them, trying to fit round pegs into square holes, and teach others to do the same. I want them to be respected as equally valid existences, as perfectly and imperfectly created as anyone else. I want them to grow up believing that the world is just as much theirs as it is every other person's. I want for them a world in which "good" and "normal" are no longer synonyms.

The best thing you could do is not to try to tell other people how they should live, how they should feel, what kind of minds they have, especially when you clearly have issues of your own. Work on instead living the best life possible, in spite and because of everything, and in that way really contribute to making life as good for future generations as you can.

Zombie thread; resurrected after over three years of dormancy. Just an FYI.


M.

Oops, sorry. I didn't check the dates when reading the thread.

I wouldn't worry about "the cure." It's almost impossible if we don't know what causes Autism. Also, logic dictates it would be as much use as a placebo. The thing is we don't KNOW social skills, yeah, we learn a few of them, but "the cure" can't make you learn the social skills you don't know.

Edit: Sorry, didn't know this was a Zombie Thread.

Last edited by LifeOfTheSpectrum on 30 Mar 2009, 12:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

Don't worry, it happens and you're not the first one to miss it. Just something to keep in mind.


M.

Exactly, it's like saying:

"I'm proud to be bullied, labeled and misunderstood."

I was never proud to be "labeled" other people make me feel bad about it to this day as if there was something "wrong" with me. The people who did label me years ago would have thought it absolutely crazy that anyone could be proud of being a set of negative "can't do" criteria. People in my country still think that this is strange and unnecessary stigmatisation of capable people.

I'm not exactly proud of having socialising, motor or life skills difficulties either. These were actually exacerbated by other people's lack of understanding, the environment and labeling. Every-time I received help, I was subtly bullied, not to mention confused and ashamed that I couldn't "read" the other kids all that well. Kids actually used to avoid and be frightened of me because I was labeled: it was an unfortunate consequence of receiving "help".

It was a self fulfilling prophesy, when people in authority said that I "suffered" from AS they expected me to "suffer" because that's what they'd read about. Sure enough, when they expected me to "suffer" I had to comply. When people didn't expect me to "suffer", fail all the time and gave me more responsibilities, I usually fared much better!

I am proud of being me, as long as I'm viewed in my entirety (strengths and weaknesses). I've never personally thought that there was anything wrong with me as such and I've been told that having intense focus, detail analysis and the ability to work alone for long periods are good skills to have. I was never ever proud of being labeled AS, because everyone else around me seemed so ashamed and frightened by it.

I inherited my temperaments, social cluelessness and systemising talents from my family. Seeing as those are hardcoded and actually form the basis of my family's values, these traits and abilities would be impossible to cure. If these traits were cured outright, families like mine wouldn't exist.

I just find people being proud of their perceived weaknesses (especially after the experiences I've had in my country with negative labeling) weird and slightly irritating. It's almost as strange as someone walking around with a tattoo on his forehead saying:
"I can't do Math and I'm proud of it!"

I'm sorry if I've unintentionally offended anyone here, but these are my points of view about the negativity and ignorance surrounding AS in my culture.

did not read the 20 page thread but must admit i agree with most of ambereyes' points. (WP should limit its threads to 20 replies or something haha - attention span)

i think it would be quite fair to say that, all other things being equal, most NTs are just as "satisfied" or "dissatisfied" as people with ASDs. the difference is that auties and aspies are more objectively dysfunctional: but that doesn't mean they are more or less happy with life. there are plenty of NTs who are highly functional and dissatisfied with their lot. Trying to "keep up with the Joneses" is a peculiarly NT expression, of course it describes NTs just as well as the next person, why else would it exist?

here i respectfully differ from ambereyes in that i don't think that "taking pride" is the answer at all, whether in talents or weaknesses. i think all humans need to recognise that we are all imperfect, NT or AS or autie or otherwise non-neurotypical, and that none of us should feel we need to "take pride" in anything at all: BUT - we believe we're less well off than the next person, so we feel we need to "take pride" in something.

that's why i definitely do not think it is a minority.

i am not saying we should all stumble around being depressed, i am saying there is no reason to be depressed in the first place. we've all got problems, whether it's autism, gambling, or being a lying nasty human. we need to just get on with getting better.

I don't like what AS has forced me to endure in life.

However, I used to blame myself for something that I was not to blame for. Having AS is why many things in my life went the way it went. Had I known about AS back then, I would have made different choices.

Being "proud" about having AS (to me) is more about NOT being ashamed about who and what you are. The world needs to practice more tolerance to people who aren't just like them. You'd not see people harass a man in a wheelchair, but people with AS aren't shown that much dignity.

People with AS shouldn't have to hide what they are. While we should work to fit in with others better those same people should be more patient with our periodic failure to fit in with others. We shouldn't have to be ashamed of who we are or apologize for it.

It is possible to take "pride" too far to the point of being militant about it, that indeed is overkill.