"they're just missing out....

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Joined: 28 Feb 2008
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13 May 2009, 9:31 pm

and not realizing what a great friendship they could experience with you!"

I've recently come to realize that this is the biggest steaming crock known to man, but not for intentionally bad reasons. Allow me to explain:

In order to realize one would be missing out on such a great experience of friendship with an Aspie individual, one has to comprehend what it is they're even missing out on.

Most flat out won't.

Hell, half of my friends barely even get it...and they are my friends.

Also worth noting...one friend who originally said this to me virtually forsaked me for his gal, after he thought I hit on her, which I didn't, not to mention caved into peer pressure.

NTs have to first comprehend what they'd be missing in order to actually be missing out. They don't, so they're truthfully not missing out on anything.

Don't let it get you down though...they're not smart enough usually to comprehend it. That's their fault, not yours. And considering that, we're probably better off regardless.

Zoonic
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13 May 2009, 9:50 pm

I would rather slit my wrists than be friends with some of the other aspies I've met throughout my life. I've had NT friends who enjoyed being with me regardless. It's just about finding the right people and not getting bored with them. My problem isn't really others, it's myself. I lose interest too fast.

When I'm with NT's, we both stimulate each other in some way, but with another aspie I'm just an icon for him to look up to. A sort of imaginary friend in physical form. Many NT's find me weird or scary but at the same time fascinating. Many NT's who tripped over their own feet just by looking at me have approached me when they were drunk and tried to bond with me. I think it's my charisma and intelligence. Wherever I go I'm never invisible. Girls hit on me, guys hit on me, older people I never met want to talk philosophy with me, drunk people want to borrow my clothes, sometimes complete strangers reveal their entire lives to me without me even asking. If I focus on something 100%, even if I'm mediocre, I'm hailed as genius and the new Mozart, no matter what I do. It's kind of silly because it has nothing to do with asperger competence/special interests but rather charisma. Mentally ill people always pick me out from the crowd, they always chose me to be the reciever of their psychotic talk.

TheDoctor82
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13 May 2009, 10:02 pm

Zoonic wrote:

there's a simple reason for that:

Aspies already aren't exactly known for major socializing, so of course there won't be much to be had in terms of friendship....other than of course both being Autistic.

NTs--at least those few who are worth it--are fascinated by a totally new perspective that they'll only hear from someone like you.

Again, that's on the "few and far between" scale for NTs; I haven't really met too many that were worth it in my 27 years of existence.

I also don't have much charisma either...but the people who know me always pick me out as a spokesman, due to my ability to lead; at least, they do these days.

DonkeyBuster
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13 May 2009, 10:15 pm

If it makes you feel any better, Zoo, I don't look up to you.

Hey, Doc82, sounds like my experience... I've found the NT's who I really appreciate are the ones who are interested in differing perspectives... and I have about as much charisma as a flatulent frog. Maybe it's a mutual interest in mind? :chin:

nara44
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13 May 2009, 10:52 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:

and not realizing what a great friendship they could experience with you!"

Don't let it get you down though...they're not smart enough usually to comprehend it. That's their fault, not yours. And considering that, we're probably better off regardless.

some how they know as i've always had a lot of trouble getting rid of NT's who betrayed my friendship they just coming back again and again no matter what
it's scary and very annoying especially when u know that no matter how nice and generous and sensitive u'l be toward them they can't avoid behaving like animals
poor things

raisedbyignorance
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13 May 2009, 11:27 pm

nara44 wrote:

TheDoctor82 wrote:

In my case, I've become terrified of girl-obsessive men be they aspie or NT. They scare the hell out of me. I have to start lying to these guys and tell them I have a boyfriend or they will never leave me alone. Some of these guys can become suicidal and psychotically insane over being single. I have an ex who definitly qualifies as one of these psychos.

But men are the only friends I can make...which kinda sucks cause you can never trust their intentions around a female whose a friend.

TheDoctor82
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13 May 2009, 11:58 pm

raisedbyignorance wrote:

nara44 wrote:

TheDoctor82 wrote:

Heh heh...kinda sounds like me a little bit around 9 years ago; not exactly to that extreme, but still...

DonkeyBuster
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14 May 2009, 6:57 am

Whatever you do, don't tell them your a lesbian... it just fascinates 'em more (sickos).

Dressing like a street person doesn't much help either.

It gets better when you get older; now that I'm in my 50's this isn't an issue at all. There's something about testicles and wanting to jump bedroom babies bones... It gets markedly better once you're 30.

nara44
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17 May 2009, 12:37 am

DonkeyBuster wrote:

As a testicles equipped creature i must protest :-)

i think i know why most NT's are pedophiles
it has to do with the way they deal with their fear of time by identifying with the young which gives them the illusion they can beat death
AS are more of an identity base creature so we tend to handle our fears much more respectfully and creatively
actually
this is one of the reasons the medical establishment marks us as diseased and as lacking of empathy/

BTW
I'm over 55 and women still want to "jump" my old bones
and when i made the mistake of befriending some of the nicest one they usually become dangerously obsessive and possessive
as an AS it's not my place to judge such behavior but i learn to be very carefull

Sora
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17 May 2009, 6:03 am

Yeah, I can't keep friends because I fail at staying in contact with them.

Other may think it's easy to talk to stay in contact with others, but it takes a lot of effort for me.

I don't think anybody's missing out anything though? I don't care for what others miss out or not... so... interesting idea.

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