Anyone really like to please others?

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I'm a huge fan of pleasing others, and I'm not sure why. Anything from hosting a potluck at my house where everyone has a good time, to playing music for a really great dance where everyone "gets lost" dancing, to writing a computer program that makes people feel good.

Anyone else enjoy doing this?

pleasing others is how aspies express compassion and empathy.

I always wanted to make people laugh. I've been thinking that it was just because I was insecure, but I like to make people feel happy. In fact, if people don't feel happy, and I can do something about it, I feel like there's something wrong with me, and I mean bad, like I'm not doing all I should. I wanted to make them laugh at my jokes. Unfortunately, my jokes are often horribly dumb. It got to the point that I take pride in the volume of the groans that I get. People who know me realize that ignoring my jokes is the best way to get me to stop, but people who know me better realize that nothing can discourage me from them.

My friends at school (most of whom are just as strange as I am. ) tend to think that I'm pretty funny, just because I come up with comments that they don't even think of. My thought processes are different from theirs, so I can surprise them sometimes, which makes them laugh. I like it. I also like to help people, and generally feel bad because I'm not really in a situation where I'm really capable of doing that.

I like to please people. At school I would draw pictures for people. These I days I like to fix their computer problems, share food or do any little deed that will help them in some way. I open doors for strangers too. I don't always get a thank you, but oh well.
I usually give bands photos that I take of them for free, just to hear their reaction to my photos. I've tried to stop because I want to make some money, but I can't.

this makes absolute sense to me.
I "do favours and other things" for people in the work/special interest realm. I said to an artist mate recently after I did something for him (and he has a nephew with AS and knows I also have an ASD) - " i do things for people because this is the only way i know how to get a sense of connecting with others."

I have often been deeply hurt because i have ended up giving 80% to others' 20%.
I am learning finally, to preserve more energy for myself and it feels good. i still like to please others, but i am leanring some discernment. In the past i could be like a superbrain naive puppy. very weird.

Less and less as time goes on.

i expect this is very sad, but i often have fantasies about saving people, or even just helping them with their shopping. just so that someone appreciates me. its hard to explain- its not ina needy way, for glory- the motivation is the doing good aspect; being thanked does not figure at all.

I don't think you need to explain it at all. We understand.

In fact, being thanked is a bit of a double edged sword. I like to know that people appreciate what I do, and I understand that they express this by coming up to me and telling me so, but if I don't know them, this usually means a bit of awkwardness for me.

I always have please others, but unfortunately the people in my life take advantage of it to an "abusive" way. They end up making me and/or put me in situations that I am not able to be in due to Asperger's. Even though I please, but at the same time, I have difficulty with having people "depend" on me, especially emotionally,which trouble with having people "depend on me emotionally is another trait of Asperger's. The whole situation is ironic because at the same time I always have to please, I can not handle people being "dependent" on me for anything. This causes a major problem and in the end, it blows up in my face, where I lose friends, have family and/or my autism program pissed off and even trying to "punish" me by convincing my doctors that I am "defiant" just because I could not have them "depend on me, which means that I am ret*d in their eyes. I do not even get angry and/or do anything mean to them when it blows up. All I do is just withdraw, and if I do mess up, it is because when I am in the situation I simply say the wrong thing and/or do not "live up" to the high standards that they put on me. As I got older, it gets worse not only because of the pleasing, but also because I am not "ret*d', actually smart, and because as an adult, I am supposed to have people "depend" on me more. Plus the high intelligence makes them think that I am supposed to be the one who other depend on and be more able to handle being depended on even more than even a "normal" person knows how to.
So the whole pleasing thing is pretty okay, but harmful when it comes to who I am around and/or who is asking for my help.

It's interesting that most aspies can relate to this, I'm no exception. I feel good just helping people, don't know why.

Now that I'm not working anymore, I'm a full-time people-helper. Most of the time I put shows of the rock band Max Creek online for others to listen to... I also put pictures of them online. My website is all pictures, with no ads, nothing for sale, just there for others to enjoy. Recently I started posting stuff from a Summer camp I used to attend (1956-57). I don't think of myself as a "good" person for doing so, it's just what I want to do.

I am another who likes to please or help people whenever I can. I think its also an aspie thing of wanting to connect to people and having a strong sense of justice. I am also learning to try and save some energy for myself and to try and please myself more rather than putting myself out or keeping quiet just because it helps others feel better. I think I am getting more of a balance, just got to keep working at it

its quite interesting that for a syndrome where we are all supposed to be 'cold' and 'lack empathy' we are actually, a very nice, thoughtful bunch....

Psygirl6 ; i agree with you about hating people to depend on me- im so unreliable, i can never predict when i will and wont be able to speak, or be around others. ive always really wanted to do visiting of the elderly, but never could, as i know id have to cancel most of the time.

Not so much that I want to please people, more that if I have someone who accepts me and I get on well with, I become hyper-loyal to the point that I feel like I'd stab myself if they asked me to.

I think we do this partly because we don't know any other way to get people to like us, and also because it makes us feel good about ourselves. I don't believe we do it out of any sense of empathy. That's true for me, anyway.

Me too. Absolutely.
As simple as this is, it had never occurred to me in quite that way before.
What a revelation... I mean, god... I've done this my whole life...

When I was young, I was always anxious about getting good grades to please parents and teachers.
As an adolescent and young adult, I did anything to please people so that maybe one of them would just be my friend.
Didn't work. And I ended up taking a lot of abuse because of it.
In my supreme naivete, I assumed that other people had good intentions,
and that I could get closer to them by doing things to make them happy.

I guess I was just trying to show empathy. Trying to be human to other people. Trying anything to be social.

I still do this.
In my daily experiences, I almost always subconsciously frame my speech and actions to be what I think others will want to hear and see. It must seem as if I have no will of my own.

In my handful of romantic relationships, I automatically tried to be whatever I thought the other person wanted. I was never myself. I just tried to do anything to please the other person. They all saw right through it, and that's why all my relationships have fallen apart.

wow, this really does explain a lot.

So yes, I really like to please others, and I hate the fact that I do.