How much of a misfit are you in WrongPlanet?

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How much do you fit in here?
Zero. I'm as much of a misfit here as everywhere else 18%  18%  [ 17 ]
I feel I totally belong and completely in synch with the others here 8%  8%  [ 7 ]
On average, 50-50 25%  25%  [ 23 ]
More of a misfit than not 25%  25%  [ 23 ]
More belonging than not 25%  25%  [ 23 ]
Total votes : 93

millie
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13 May 2009, 11:28 pm

Quote:
Greentea wrote:
Interesting, most of the people who've said so far that they don't feel they belong have always given me the feeling that they belong more than me here... A couple others I don't know because they don't post in this forum a lot.

And yes, belonging and fitting in is 2 different things, but both apply well here if we don't go into too much precision.


i have always had the impression of you that you are almost "an institution" here, Greentea, with your insights, your ideas and your observations and so many threads that are often interesting and also challenging.

It is interesting to consider the chasm between how one might view oneself and how others might view one.



itsallrosie
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14 May 2009, 2:06 am

Morgana wrote:
I just thought that I´d clarify that I very often read people´s posts, maybe nod my head and think "me too", laugh if it´s funny, or remember when something similar happened to me...etc., etc.- but, in many cases, I don´t always reply to these posts. If I replied to everything, I´d never get off the computer! And people would be pretty sick of hearing about me, I would think. However, just because I don´t reply doesn´t mean that I haven´t noticed or responded inwardly to your post. I would think that applies to others here, too. So, for those of you who think you don´t fit in and that nobody notices you, you may be more noticed than you think.


I was going to say the same but you said it much better.
I voted more belonging than not. I relate to what many say and find some interesting and stimulating ideas and opinions. In NT forums I find the conversations can get too sentimental, often rude, pointless and doubtful. The majority of NT posts seem to be about 'saying nice things' to bolster everyone's ego's. I sit back and feel there is no place for me on them.

Here the posts are genuine, informative, quirky or heartfelt for the right reasons.

I like it that people are in different stages of acceptance or rejection about their differences, and some want to belong to some category while others are content to be just who they are whatever that is.

I like it that some are very intelligent and others have some great talent and others haven't found their forte yet.

So much potential is here. Something for everyone. So yes I love it here but recognise that I am unique and some might not like what I have to say and that's OK.


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KingdomOfRats
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14 May 2009, 10:14 am

am not sure what misfit means,but probably relate more to the experiences and topics written about on WP than on any other ASD forum,as users are all over the spectrum,and have a wide range of beliefs so topics are more balanced.
Am do get fed up sometimes of the ignorance and prejudice towards or about LFAs or those who have another form of non AS- Autism,and it can make WP feel like a unuseable place,but the majority of the forum are understanding and accepting of all [a forum that will have john best as a member if he's on his best behavior shows how accepting WP is] so have to make sure not to get worn down by a minority.
And sometimes there is more stuff to relate to than on other days [or weeks/months],the school summer holidays always make WP quieter so thats one everyone will be feeling come....whenever it is.


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14 May 2009, 12:25 pm

I kind of fit-in here. For me, it's a matter of boredom. I feel like every topic that's possible of being done has been done to death already. And for the most part, it's true. I've come back, I guess, for the reason of networking and I guess discussing things I couldn't before. I voted 50-5-, by the way.


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14 May 2009, 1:44 pm

I'm not compleatly sure, but I voted "more belonging than not".

Hard for me to tell, since I don't generally have a sense of belonging anywhere (other than places in my imagination); but I relate to things said here a lot more than most things I hear offline or on other sites. And most people here seem more accepting, seem nicer... most of the time.


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SpongeBobRocksMao
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14 May 2009, 3:15 pm

I voted that I feel I belong here.


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sartresue
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14 May 2009, 3:39 pm

Why am I such a Fismit? topic

I voted Zero. I never fit, and I never will. I would be shocked if it were otherwise!! 8O

:P

What a great topic, Greentea!! ! Thanks.


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alba
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14 May 2009, 3:49 pm

Modality wrote:
I feel here as much an alien as anywhere else.

ditto
dougn wrote:
There are other places where I feel like I belong more.

Actually, when I first joined, I think I was surprised to find that most of the members are nothing like me (or even each other).

That's the way I feel but it took several months to come to that realization. Some here have hurt me deeply and those in question have utterly no remorse about it. Not much different from the world of NTs, in some ways it's worse here than irl. But that's perhaps my fault as I have zero positive expectations from NTs, and had hoped I would fare better here. No such luck. There are 3 or 4 at WP who seem to take delight in hurting people. But maybe that's just me being weird.



LordKristov
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14 May 2009, 5:54 pm

Depends on the topic, but thinking more and more like I am still on the wrong planet.


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CaptainTrips222
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15 May 2009, 2:50 am

How do you know if you "fit in" on a website? Because you get a lot of responses? Because you can relate well to the posts? I said 50-50.



jawbrodt
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15 May 2009, 3:07 am

I voted "more of a misfit". I think I fit in OK, but I know I'm more hard-core than most members. I try to keep it undercover as much as possible, although some of it slips out periodically. :wink:


*must stay civil* :lol:


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CaptainTrips222
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15 May 2009, 3:21 am

jawbrodt wrote:
I voted "more of a misfit". I think I fit in OK, but I know I'm more hard-core than most members. I try to keep it undercover as much as possible, although some of it slips out periodically. :wink:


*must stay civil* :lol:


Kinda sucks that I have to pretend even here, only to a less degree. :( :( :(



Greentea
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15 May 2009, 6:33 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
How do you know if you "fit in" on a website?


Excellent question. It's hard to define, but to give a general idea of what I mean: when your values and core ideas / assumptions and the majority's are similar. When you feel you have more or less the same amount of useful contribution to make as others' posts contribute to you. When you feel you're sharing with the people (not a wallpaper flower, not their kinder-garden teacher, not their scapegoat, etc.). When you have a certain amount of confidence that people know what you're talking about and some will see your point.

Millie, I know that I'm considered a bit of an institution here by some or many. That's because of the things you mention, but I think it's mostly because I'm the only one (or one of the very few, if there are others) who posts regularly, intensely and many of my threads and posts are only intended to keep our community active and interested (eg. posting certain topics with the only aim of making as many people as possible feel they have something to say about it and therefore stop being a lurker, etc.).

From my experience, people who take care of the continuation of a group are seen as the institutions in that group. The "institutions" enjoy preferential status in the group's pecking order and can get away with more than the others (I've tried to argue ideas with some people here who felt I was too much of an institution to argue with - it's my loss, as all leaders pay a price for their institution status, and I hate the pecking order whether I'm favored by it or not). Society rewards those who help preserve it and punishes those who threaten its status quo, i.e. its continuation as we know it.

From my experience too, I often enjoy the "institution" status in a group, then quickly become the scapegoat when people see I'm actually too eccentric/individualistic to be one of the group keepers, or even just be in the group.


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b9
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15 May 2009, 7:03 am

i voted

Quote:
Zero. I'm as much of a misfit here as everywhere else
because it is as close an answer to the correct one. i actually feel more unknown and ignored here than i do in real life.

i think it is because i do not portray myself well in writing. i describe things well i think, but the character i portray is an unfriendly one.
that is what posters on other asperger forums said when i was a member of them.

also, my failure to use correct punctuation makes my writing hard to read i guess. i do not use capitals except where necessary, and i do not abbreviate things like "do not" as "don't".
i do not use buzz words or modern "lingo" and therefore i may seem formal and flatly boring.

i do not identify with the mindsets of many people on this site. i do identify with some though. there are 2 that i believe i know what they are going to say before i read their posts.

also i have a tendency to go off into tangents and write very long posts essentially about not much, and the next day when i am not in the same mood, i read them and think "jeezus! what an aimless waffle"

i guess most people scroll past what i write, and i can understand why in a way.

i know that a lot of posters ignore my posts because there have been threads where i was the first to point something out, and it was ignored, and 3 pages later, someone else more popular will point out the same thing and suddenly there are lots of people quoting that person saying "good point" etc.

there are lot's of niche groups here and they seem to coagulate in their own cohesive puddles, but i do not have the type of personality that applies to any of them.
i am not a political or religious "frother at the mouth"
i am not a "can't get a girl" wailer.
i am not a "life's so hard" slobberer.
i am not an emo "dark and mysterious and spooky" type.
i am not a teenager with any of their issues.

there is no section of this site that i gravitate to.
i bookmarked this site from the page that is the "view all posts since your last visit" page.
when i click "wrong planet", this is the type of screen i get.

Image


so i just answer the topic that takes my eye from those listed.

also the site has too many members and most people's input gets washed away in a torrent of other peoples eager input.

there are some people here who seem to be the "stars of the show" and i can not see why. also, i read some exceptional posts by other people that never get referred to by anyone for some reason.

i still like to post here because i like to try to type what i think, and it is better to type where others can read than to type in a personal diary that would be lost with my next disk crash.



itsallrosie
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15 May 2009, 8:29 am

b9 wrote:
i voted
Quote:
Zero. I'm as much of a misfit here as everywhere else
because it is as close an answer to the correct one. i actually feel more unknown and ignored here than i do in real life.

i think it is because i do not portray myself well in writing. i describe things well i think, but the character i portray is an unfriendly one.
that is what posters on other asperger forums said when i was a member of them.


i guess most people scroll past what i write, and i can understand why in a way.


Hey, I read all your posts, and I like the way you space your words so it's not one long block of words, I can follow it better than most due to the gaps. You don't come accross as unfriendly at all, whatever gave you that impression?

I can't imagine why anyone would want to 'pretend' on here, unless they are suppressing angry or insulting thoughts which is fair enough.

If you go off on tangents then that's just aspie. I wonder how people manage to keep to one sentence! 8O


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