How well do you deal with changes to your routine?

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Elgee
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20 Feb 2022, 1:12 pm

Lady Strange wrote:
Lol I asked my husband this question regarding myself, he said that "I'm like the hamsters when their cage is cleaned and they get angry and upset and reshuffle things" (hamsters like consistent environment and not have things changed around).

Yeah I can be pretty bad with changes. Bigger ones and I have been known to melt down quite badly.

Even changes like my husband will say "oh so and so is coming over for a visit next weekend (a small few hours)" and I will initially get kind of angry/panicky feeling like I'm being forced into something, but I'm trying to get better at this reaction. I cannot STAND when people come over unannounced or just drop some major schedule shift change on me. It really messes me up.

It seems to be more the mental preparedness that I've got in my head for the change is in direct correlation to the reaction I give (rather ok with it to outright upset/angry/panicky).

Big changes (like a job change) can be REALLY bad for me to get ok with. It seriously took me like 8 months to be more ok in my current job without feeling utterly miserable and angry and upset, suicidal. I was having really bad meltdowns. I feel like my brain hates change like that so bad that it makes me pay for it so horribly so I'll learn to not do that to my brain ever again.


If people are coming over unannounced, why not just ignore the doorbell? I never answer my door unless I'm expecting someone. Another solution is to use your neurodivergent bluntness and simply make a group announcement, either in person or email, or whatever, that NOBODY is to just pop over unannounced. Period. Not open to negotiation. Tell 'em a call ahead of time (minimal time) is required. No negotiation. THAT Is the rule.



Lady Strange
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20 Feb 2022, 11:35 pm

It was a friend of my husband's, so he was mainly there to see him, but i still have trouble with unannounced visits. Also we didnt know about my autism at the time, since then its not really happened again so far.



Dear_one
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21 Feb 2022, 7:24 am

Where I live, if I don't want unannounced guests, I don't get any social interaction at all. Staying ready is stressful, mostly because my sleep is irregular. If I'm low on sleep, changes can be extremely hard, but if I'm well rested, they are fine, sometimes even welcome.



munstead
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21 Feb 2022, 8:19 am

Lady Strange wrote:
It was a friend of my husband's, so he was mainly there to see him, but i still have trouble with unannounced visits. Also we didnt know about my autism at the time, since then its not really happened again so far.


My sister-in-law was always coming over uninvited. I saved up and installed a gate that blocks access from the road. I ignore the buzzer (I hide basically, pretending no-one is in) when I see it is her requesting access without an invitation.



ComfortablyQuiet
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21 Feb 2022, 6:07 pm

I'm fairly new to accepting/realising/embracing that I'm very likely on the autistic spectrum. One of the things that has made me realise this is my strong preference for routines, and order.

Recently, with returning back to the office ( :x ), we have been on a rota system, and every week they kept changing my office day and it was driving me absolutely insane. Now I have my set day, and even though I hate the office life, I at least know which day I'm hating every week and can mentally prepare for it.

My girlfriend has pointed out (years before I talked to her about possible autism) how much routine I tend to keep, or have to do things in certain orders. It's usually only small things, but they have to be done in my order.

Looking back, it was definitely a theme in my childhood, but because again they were relatively small things, and I generally respond to things I don't like by being quiet and retreating into myself, when things changed and I didn't like it, they never seemed to get picked up.



auntblabby
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21 Feb 2022, 7:24 pm

^^^welcome to WP :alien:



Permutative
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26 Feb 2022, 3:34 pm

I get very upset and disrupted when something I use regularly breaks, or is otherwise removed from my life. I don't mean like my phone breaking or loosing my glasses, I mean like a dish I like all the time to eat on breaking, or a certain kind of soap I like using running out, or especially my mother suddenly throwing away the brush I use to clean dishes, requiring me to use a different tool to clean them such as a sponge. Oh and I hate it when there are sudden updates to software or sites that change the interface even slightly, but those don't really affect routine.

The other more significant parts of routine I absolutely struggle with having interrupted.
I can't delegate my time to deeply focus on anything unless I am 100% certain that there will be 0 interruptions for the next few hours. Occasionally if its something really hard and lengthy I need 6+ hours without anything planned that will divert my focus towards anticipating what's upcoming.
I however don't really get upset when interrupted, but a couple times if I was interrupted on the exact moment that I was having a special moment, like if I'm producing a song and stumbled upon something amazing, or I'm at the climax in a movie, then I get pissed because it treats that emotional climax like a punchline of a joke, but I still try to not be mean or anything to that person.



auntblabby
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26 Feb 2022, 8:43 pm

^^^welcome, i'll try not to interrupt you then. 8)



Ferns
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03 Mar 2022, 6:22 am

I don't like changes in routine, but I accept it as a fact of life. But I do notice my anxiety gets worse the more abrupt the change in my routine.



auntblabby
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03 Mar 2022, 6:51 am

^^^welcome to WP, fern :flower: