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LupineSnowstorm
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31 Oct 2014, 7:56 am

Most piranhas are vegetarians. if you don't believe me try stuffing your hand into the mouth of every piranha you see.


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b9
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31 Oct 2014, 8:33 am

behave like person 2 who is a winner.
____________

person 1: i just won a million bucks!! !

person 2: wow. i'm so sorry for you.

person 1: why?

person 2: because now you must be lamenting that you have insufficient intelligence in order to control that amount of money.

person 1: sorry?

person 2: you now have more dollars than neurons! does that not daunt you? i mean if you bought everything you can think of, you'd still have a lot of change.

person 1: you're a rude assh*le.

person 2: maybe your first investments should be in mind improvement classes and elocution lessons. at least that would equip you to intelligibly voice your displeasure.

person 1: do you want a smack in the mouth?!?!?

person 2: why ask me? i might lie. why not hire a psychic to tell you the truth? you have enough cash to buy your way out of your unanswerable quandaries now my bewildered friend.

person 2: [punches person 1 in head (in view of cctv's)]

person 1: now that million dollars is mine!! it is the least that a court would award me from your ill begotten estate in restitution for your carnal folly . a fool and his money are soon parted my friend. good afternoon.



LupineSnowstorm
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31 Oct 2014, 5:32 pm

If someone you don't know very well asks you how you are tell them the truth! They are most probably genuinely concerned about you and not just doing it to conform to social cues.


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"Have I lied to you? I mean...in this room?"~ GLaDOS
"Is there any time when how you look doesn't affect how you're judged?" ~ Daria Morgendorffer


ajpd1989
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31 Oct 2014, 10:49 pm

Always play your music at maximum volume. You don't want to miss any of the minor things in the background.

LupineSnowstorm wrote:
If someone you don't know very well asks you how you are tell them the truth! They are most probably genuinely concerned about you and not just doing it to conform to social cues.

:lol: I actually did that to someone once. They regretted asking.



LupineSnowstorm
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03 Nov 2014, 3:59 pm

ajpd1989 wrote:
Always play your music at maximum volume. You don't want to miss any of the minor things in the background.

Yes and if you start to hear a ringing sound in your ears then you need to find a way of making the music louder to drown it out. I personally recommend strapping two sub woofers to your head and playing them up as loud as it takes.


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"Have I lied to you? I mean...in this room?"~ GLaDOS
"Is there any time when how you look doesn't affect how you're judged?" ~ Daria Morgendorffer


ReticentJaeger
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03 Nov 2014, 6:42 pm

Walk really, really slowly in the hallways?especially if someone's behind you. If you walk any faster, they might think you're running away from some unseen threat and start panicking!


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jrjones9933
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03 Nov 2014, 11:19 pm

Everyone find farts hilarious.



ajpd1989
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04 Nov 2014, 2:19 am

If you're out driving on the highway and a cop behind you puts his lights on, promptly swerve to either side while stomping the brake pedal as hard as you can. If you're lucky you can get behind him and follow him.



ThetaIn3D
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04 Nov 2014, 2:51 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
Everyone find farts hilarious.

Hold a belching contest at the Rotary Club.



jk1
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04 Nov 2014, 4:22 am

If there is a fire in the building you are in, use the elevator to quickly escape to safety and make sure you don't leave any valuables behind.



Sylkat
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04 Nov 2014, 4:50 am

If you hear the fire alarm go off, find either the fire extinguisher or, preferably, the fire hose.

Immediately spray everything and everyone in the room, for safety's sake.


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WerewolfPoet
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04 Nov 2014, 1:34 pm

If you're a college student and have a low stress tolerance, take the maximum number of credits a semester; that way, you'll get it over with sooner.


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LupineSnowstorm
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04 Nov 2014, 3:05 pm

Always stand directly behind a horse


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"Have I lied to you? I mean...in this room?"~ GLaDOS
"Is there any time when how you look doesn't affect how you're judged?" ~ Daria Morgendorffer


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06 Nov 2014, 7:02 pm

Wear either a yellow polka-dot bikini or a Speedo everywhere.


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FracturedRocket
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14 Nov 2014, 3:40 pm

If you hate the water, I suggest that you swim across the ocean to the UK.


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LupineSnowstorm
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14 Nov 2014, 5:28 pm

Unsaturated Polyester resin is great for use in cakes.


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"Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am." ~ Luna Lovegood
"Have I lied to you? I mean...in this room?"~ GLaDOS
"Is there any time when how you look doesn't affect how you're judged?" ~ Daria Morgendorffer