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Trogluddite
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06 May 2019, 9:03 pm

Be careful walking barefoot on wet bathroom floors. So that you don't slip, scatter the area with Lego bricks first.


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auntblabby
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06 May 2019, 9:20 pm

eat legos dipped in arsenic sauce



KikiKitty678
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08 May 2019, 7:36 am

Hostess cupcakes are a great, nutritious breakfast.



Fnord
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08 May 2019, 8:35 am

If the way I'm driving on this freeway makes you nervous, then you can get out of my car right now!


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jifmam j jasond
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08 May 2019, 8:52 am

Do not get into a staring contest with the Abyss. The Abyss will win.

Kangaroo farts do not burn.
Do not attempt to test this hypothesis, there may be serious injuries. Just take the researcher's word for for it. They get paid for this stuff.

Owait, that's good advice.
OK-

Rhinoceri make nearly invincible polo ponies. And you can get by with a shorter mallet.

Polar bears cannot be easily house broken. You need tundra, or a really big litter box filled with ice cubes.

Training racing sloths is an exercise in futility, and they are a poor candidate for polo mounts. though they are quite easy to ride, and easily dodged if they should gradually throw you. Unlike polo rhinoceroses, they'll rarely ram the hell out of you.



Last edited by jifmam j jasond on 08 May 2019, 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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08 May 2019, 8:54 am

Hold on tight and don't let go when baptizing your cat.


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jifmam j jasond
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08 May 2019, 8:57 am

Fnord wrote:
Hold on tight and don't let go when baptizing your cat.


this can be circumvented by getting an Episcopalian Cat.



magz
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08 May 2019, 8:59 am

jifmam j jasond wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Hold on tight and don't let go when baptizing your cat.


this can be circumvented

And circumcised!


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jifmam j jasond
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08 May 2019, 9:01 am

auntblabby wrote:
eat legos dipped in arsenic sauce

Nah, Ketchup.
Any thing is edible with enough ketchup. Yes, ANYTHING.
(insert tasteless obscene joke of your choice here)



magz
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08 May 2019, 9:08 am

jifmam j jasond wrote:
Any thing is edible with enough ketchup. Yes, ANYTHING.
(insert tasteless obscene joke of your choice here)

Implicit function theorem. Generalized for Banach spaces. With proof. But then it's ketchup with implicit function theorem, not the reverse.


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jifmam j jasond
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08 May 2019, 9:15 am

Circumcising a (possibly irritated cat) seems like bad advice to me, on the same order of risk as testing the Kangaroo fart theory with a flaming stick applied to the relevant orifice.



Fnord
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08 May 2019, 9:16 am

jifmam j jasond wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Hold on tight and don't let go when baptizing your cat.
this can be circumvented by getting an Episcopalian Cat.
Meanwhile, at the Baptist church...

Image


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IstominFan
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08 May 2019, 9:32 pm

Windex is a good cure for zits. (See "My Big Fat Greek Wedding.")



auntblabby
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08 May 2019, 9:40 pm

brush your teeth with Spackle.



Omega the Shadow
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09 May 2019, 2:27 am

If you see broken glass on the ground, please be sure to pick it up with your bare hands.


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magz
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09 May 2019, 2:28 am

Omega the Shadow wrote:
If you see broken glass on the ground, please be sure to pick it up with your bare hands.

Also remember to take off your shoes.


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