The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Be careful walking barefoot on wet bathroom floors. So that you don't slip, scatter the area with Lego bricks first.

eat legos dipped in arsenic sauce

Hostess cupcakes are a great, nutritious breakfast.

If the way I'm driving on this freeway makes you nervous, then you can get out of my car right now!

Do not get into a staring contest with the Abyss. The Abyss will win.

Kangaroo farts do not burn.
Do not attempt to test this hypothesis, there may be serious injuries. Just take the researcher's word for for it. They get paid for this stuff.

Owait, that's good advice.
OK-

Rhinoceri make nearly invincible polo ponies. And you can get by with a shorter mallet.

Polar bears cannot be easily house broken. You need tundra, or a really big litter box filled with ice cubes.

Training racing sloths is an exercise in futility, and they are a poor candidate for polo mounts. though they are quite easy to ride, and easily dodged if they should gradually throw you. Unlike polo rhinoceroses, they'll rarely ram the hell out of you.

Last edited by jifmam j jasond on 08 May 2019, 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hold on tight and don't let go when baptizing your cat.

this can be circumvented by getting an Episcopalian Cat.

And circumcised!

Nah, Ketchup.
Any thing is edible with enough ketchup. Yes, ANYTHING.
(insert tasteless obscene joke of your choice here)

Implicit function theorem. Generalized for Banach spaces. With proof. But then it's ketchup with implicit function theorem, not the reverse.

Circumcising a (possibly irritated cat) seems like bad advice to me, on the same order of risk as testing the Kangaroo fart theory with a flaming stick applied to the relevant orifice.

Meanwhile, at the Baptist church...

Windex is a good cure for zits. (See "My Big Fat Greek Wedding.")

brush your teeth with Spackle.

If you see broken glass on the ground, please be sure to pick it up with your bare hands.

Also remember to take off your shoes.