The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Rather than getting up to see if you left the window open, keep a bucket of test rocks by your desk to throw at it!

Heterosexual males, show an attractive woman you are interested in her by following her home from work every evening.

If you ever find your self confronted by a rattlesnake, just wave your hands in from of its face. This will confuse the snake, sending it rapidly in the opposite direction.

The piñata game is a lot more fun if you blindfold all the kids, arm them with Louisville Sluggers, and let them all play at the same time.

Always stick your hand inside any shoe you haven't worn for awhile -- especially if it's been in a closet -- to check for poisonous spiders.

To earn the respect of your subordinates, yell and curse at them at every opportunity.

When you're in a fast food drive-up window, and the order isn't being processed fast enough to suit you, honking your horn will speed things up.

Pyroclastic flow heading towards you? Just duck and cover.

If you eat broccoli with baked beans, you won't become flatulent.

Cream soda and chilli paste are the perfect combination for an upset stomach.

Cover yourself with sneezing powder before stepping into the dentist's office.

Tabasco sauce works wonders on almost any fabric stain.

No home really needs a water heater..

Save money....just turn it off.

When at the airport and those pesky agents are asking you nosy questions and poking through your carry-on luggage, just slap one of them. They'll respect you after that.