The Really Bad Advice Thread

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To reduce wear and tear on your brakes, run red lights if nobody is coming. Same goes for stop signs.

Job interviews are not popularity contests

If you have a headache the best cure is to jump head first from a very tall building.

I you ever drop a valuable item into a river of molten lava, make sure you grab it very, very fast!

Forks are out of style.

Eat every meal with a razor-sharp dagger.

smiles are old-fashioned. instead, kick everyone you meet.

It's always a good idea to slam your fingers in the door.

If a bumblebee lands on you, stroke it gently. It calms them down.

Whenever trying to impress women, stare at your shoes and mumble about string theory.

Yellow snow is tasty pineapple shaved ice.

The quickest and best way to start a fire in your outdoor grill is to douse the coals with gasoline, before lighting them.

Always lie about yourself when you begin any relationship with a woman to make yourself look more appealing. After she falls in love with you, you can tell her the truth -- she'll understand!

Punctuation just wants to take away your freedom.

The "Check Engine" light is just a friendly suggestion.

Always remove all the caps from the air plugs in your tires before driving to work----it'll make the ride much smoother.

Aquarium keepers: Always remember that Betta Fish get lonely and need a friend.