Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but your perfect vision and lack of problems make other people envious of you.

I wish to be like this

Granted, you are now an actual guinea pig.

I wish to have a good day.

Granted, but tomorrow will be horrible.

I wish fluorescent lights were banned.

Wish granted but all lights will be banned and we will go back to lanterns.
I wish for the weather to stay sunny and warm

Granted but get ready for a drought.

I wish mosquitos wouldn't annoy me when I sleep.

Wish Granted, they all wait for you to wake up to annoy you. They are gathered around your bed waiting patiently.
I wish for a good Pokemon Moba game.

Granted, but you never win.

I wish everyone used Linux instead of Windows.

Wish granted but people won't like it
I wish for glamour.

Granted! You are glamorous, but it comes at a high price.

I wish I didn't have so much free time.

Granted now you are so busy you are stressed.
I wish that I could go to a party.

Granted, but it's a drunken wild party! Is that where you want to be?

I wish to have the life of my dreams.

Granted. You get the life of every dream you've ever had. Your normal dreams,, your nightmares, your confusing strange dreams that make no sense, your childhood night terrors, your vague dreams that you hardly remember at all. They're all there simultaneously. So there you are kissing your handsome boyfriend while dodging terrorists and being strangled by the purple octopus that seems to hate you because it's Friday and there was something about a donut but you can't quite recall.... get the idea? Ah, the wonderful life of your dreams! Every single one of them!


I wish I had better attention span

Granted. But your long attention span is focused on the texture of your wall. You no longer anything else.

I wish I were better organized.

Granted, but now you compulsively organize everything and it takes up your entire day.

I wish Christmas was sooner.

Wish granted you will go into a coma and wake up on Christmas morning in the hospital.
I wish for some Oreos.

Granted. But no matter how hard you try, you can't get them out of he package.

I wish i could be organized without compulsively organizing all day.