When/Why did your parents start treating you like an adult?

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Vanessa-Jane
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12 Oct 2009, 12:04 pm

My parents don't treat me like an adult, and most of the time that suits me fine. My Dad (Aspie in denial) and I get on much better when I actually act like a baby (not tantrums or anything just kinda dumb/naive and cutesy). Mum likes bossing us both about and then complaining about it, so it's lose-lose there. These days she'll ask me questions like she's interested in my thoughts/feelings on the subject, but it's basically all rhetorical. As long as they're happy to keep dealing with the Real World for me, I'm happy to let them because I really can't cope at all.



AnotherAngle
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04 Nov 2009, 12:15 am

I am 24 this month. I live independantly with my partner/carer. My mother never has and probably never will treat me as an adult. This is one of the reasons I rarely speak to her.

(She refuses to admit I am ill but treats me like a goddamn five year old anyway.)


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Sala
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16 Nov 2009, 12:28 pm

It took quite a lot for my parents to treat me like an adult. The big event that changed everything is when my daughters father and my best friend died 2 days apart. My parents expected me to quit functioning. I took no time off except 2 hours for one funeral. 4 months later I showed up pregnant and the guy I was seeing went seriously psychotic, and I got a restraining order and chose not to keep the baby. THATS when each and every member of my family began treating me like an adult. (except the middle sister) And of couse I feel like 3 people had to die for my family to realize I'm not a child.



SoulcakeDuck
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16 Nov 2009, 5:59 pm

Father split when I was 3, started getting the "grow up" lecture when I was about 14.


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AnimeGirl
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04 Dec 2009, 1:39 pm

I moved out of the house when I was nineteen because of how I was treated by mother. I am now thirty-three and she still treats me like a child with telling me what I have to do, how to live my life and worse yet things that I need to change. My dad on the other hand treats me as an adult and has since I was a teenager. If he does not agree with something he approaches the subject with me in an adult manner and treats me and my opinions with respect (even the ones he does not agree with)



PosterChild
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04 Dec 2009, 6:42 pm

When/Why did your parents start treating you like an adult?

Nice theory / dream / fantasy
..and that's all it will ever be :?



FreeSpirit2000
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11 Feb 2010, 4:51 am

My parents wont probably ever treat me like an adult ever in my life, they claim that they want me to be independent, but when I ask them to help me to learn things to become independent, they lag things out intentionally because they are too overprotective.



League_Girl
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11 Feb 2010, 10:47 am

When I finished high school, I was given more freedom because I was now officially an adult. My mom still treated me like a child but now that I live on my own, she treats me like an adult.



alana
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11 Feb 2010, 5:38 pm

never. They never have, and they never will. My father despises me, pretty much. He's devoted his life to pathologizing me, lying about me, criticizing me, belittling me, and trying to drive me to suicide I think to cover up his misdeeds from the past. Just yesterday he called me an 'evil, evil person.'

My mother just goes along with it and tells me I'm crazy and that *I* abuse him in our interactions.

Except when he vents his sickness on her, then if I am around I am supposed to be her lay psychiatrist and in-general big mama tit figure/caretaker. It's revolting.



MoonRa
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12 Feb 2010, 10:53 am

I left home at 18 for college, before that, I could make a lot of decisions by my own, so I've never explicitly felt like being treated as an adult or kid.

There is a catch in relation to mother however. She used to 'freak-out' one or twice a year, scaring the hell out of me. At some age (mid-teen) I got bigger and standed up to my mum when she got angry. I still enjoy that moment - she expected me to run away in fear instead of just standing there firm, she stumbled for a moment and got over her anger. Since then I was her 'big-boy'. Note however, that I have a very good relation with my parents, especially with my mum, dad is more a 'feeling person' :)



Philologos
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13 Feb 2010, 9:54 am

My father never visiblyt treated me as anythiung but environment. At least I counted as familiar environment.

My mother never treated anyone as an adult.



poopylungstuffing
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13 Feb 2010, 12:58 pm

My parents have never really treated me like an adult. I am fairly close to my parents and see them every week. We have been doing the weekly outing ritual pretty much since I was a kid. My parents enjoy spending money on me and look at it as compensation for my having a rocky childhood...I am still very childlike...and I have no problem with the weekly outings, but I do pay for my own stuff now, and I recently have started giving them money because our business is doing well.



PunkyKat
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06 Mar 2010, 9:41 pm

Never.



psychohist
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06 Mar 2010, 10:16 pm

I think my mother started kind of treating me as an adult when I had my first kid at 48.

My father still doesn't treat me as an adult - at least, not in the sense of actually listening to what I say.

Of course, my daughter is so cute, I doubt I'll ever treat her as an adult. She'll always be my baby!



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08 Mar 2010, 8:20 am

I don't know that my parents ever treated me as an adult.

My mother died then a few years later I realized that my father depended on me to make decisions for him.

So suddenly I was the "adult" to make decisions about whether my father should go into an "old people's home"

I was suddenly the "head of the family"



Cricket2731
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10 Mar 2010, 1:33 pm

My father started treating me like an adult when I was 12. My mother started her teaching career when I was 7. Most of the time, she taught 2nd grade. To this day (it's been 47 years, & I'm now 54), she treats me like a 2nd-grader. As a result, I do my best to limit communication with her to letters & greeting cards; I got tired of her ill-treatment over the phone that invariably resulted in me hanging up in the middle of one of her tirades.