Adult Diagnosis process - asking the parents

Post Reply New Topic

I'm asking this here as I'm not a youth.

I am due to undergo assessment soon and I have been told they will need to speak with my parents as they cannot make a diagnosis without my parents input.

I understand why this is important but what if you dont have parents? Does this mean no diagnosis?

Luckily I do, so I was wondering of those who have had diagnosis in adulthood, were you present at the parental interview? Also what kinds of things do they ask your parents?

Anyone have parents who disagreed with the diagnosis?

At this time there's no set testing guidelines for adults. It sounds like your doctor wants to keep your testing as close to the children's testing process as possible, because there is a set guideline for that. Also, while you're a legal adult, you're still pretty young at 18. The doctor might figure there's some good stuff to be gained from your parents' perspective.

I did not have to include my parents. I would've laughed my way out of the office if they had suggested it. I'm in my thirties, though, and haven't gotten my parents' permission for anything since I was 16.

I'm not 18, that was 18 posts. I'm more than double 18

Depends on who is doing the assessing; some will flatly not issue a diagnosis without parental input (Baron-Cohen's CLASS clinic, IIRC), but others don't require it.

There's no standard protocol for assessing adults, so the professionals can pretty much do whatever they want.

I have always wondered how they handle parental input. Parents anxious to get their kid an IEP might be, "yeah, there's been lotsa weird behavior, hurry up with that diagnosis"; whereas parents of adults might be thinking, "Everything was totally normal, and f-you for suggesting otherwise, headshrinker." (My folk's most likely reaction.)

Last edited by Apple_in_my_Eye on 16 Mar 2011, 7:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LOL! So I guess that would make you 19 now. I'm sorry about that!! ! I need to actually READ. Might help.

You're too old to need Mommy and Daddy to talk to the doctor. The doctor should be able to accept your self-analysis and his observations.

Yeah this is what I expect from them. Oddly it was both parents separately who have suggested looking for diagnosis but as soon as i became serious they changed their minds and support for it. Now it's just an "interesting experiment"

Pdoc won't do it without parental input as the MUST know about childhood behaviour and development. He wants to sit in with an autism specialist and that freaks me out. I'm thinking of asking him not to attend the whole thing. Too many people in one room for me, I'll clam up

Ha! I wish. As you've said it, it must be true and henceforth I am 19 again



Apparenty they need childhood information to be sure the traits are lifelong and not new ones.

A mother who is convinced it's shyness or social anxiety doesn't fill me with hope. Thing is i don't experience anxiety socially. She doesn't want an abnormal, *cough* gotta love the term eh, child so will do what is necessary to ensure I'm not labelled.

It really worries me.

I'm 42 and have only recently initiated and pursued my own evaluation for AS. The doctor would like for someone from my childhood to attend one of the next sessions, ideally a parent, but it doesn't have to be. It hasn't occurred to me to ask either of them to be there, because it wouldn't be the least bit helpful. Why?

1) I'm fairly convinced that my Dad has AS, as well as my Brother, thus my Mom was stuck in a household where she was the only NT present. Given that, there was no one else to compare our everyday AS behavior against and whatever went on on our household was seen as "normal" (if not completely dysfunctional, during a time when that word wasn't really used).

2) Not only is my Dad an undiagnosed Aspie, he's also a complete and utter alcoholic who has pickled his brain and has very little recollection of my childhood.

3) My Mom has reached a stage in her life where all things in the past have taken on this beautiful golden hue of sentimentality and everything was great - which is hilarious to me because it was not so great - not at all. However, if I push her to remember all that took place, all it's going to do is dredge up a lot of painful memories, and I just don't see that doing her any good whatsoever.

4) Both my parents are also reluctant to believe that I have AS. I don't know if my Brother has talked to them about the possibility of him having AS, but I imagine he'd face the same wall I did. My Dad won't really take it seriously and my Mom wants to take it seriously, but seems to be more concerned with feeling guilty about it, and that's completely unhelpful and I just don't have time for it.
My focus is an objective look at myself and my actions, not "aw - poor baby" and "coulda, shoulda, woulda," which is just a ridiculous and illogical route to take.

Based on that (and probably more), I'm seriously considering asking one of my Uncles to attend the session with me. I would come over to his house for birthday and slumber parties with his daughters and their friends and it was overwhelmingly apparent that I just didn't fit.

If your doctor's going to be a stickler for this aspect of the evaluation, do you have someone like that from your childhood? A relative or the parent of a childhood friend who could provide some small chunk of history of your behavior?

Same here. My parents are not local (mom is 12 hours drive). Would've been nearly impossible to get them to go in with me.

My Dr. used 4 separate tests to assess me, including DSM-IV. DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Asperger's Disorder She picked up on a lot of subtle things that rather shocked me. Though i do think she overlooked a few things (hand gestures for one). Still, she gave me a "mild" diagnosis.

Some comfort I can provide is that doctors never accept a diagnosis. If your mother says "shy", he'll take it as a description of symptomatic behavior and ask for more details. If your mother says, "I think he has social anxiety." he'll assume she means to say "shy" and will proceed as though she did.

I'm still waiting to see that myself.

My father is dead, and was too drunk while I was a kid to notice anything, I'm also told he paid little attention to me.
My mother and I are estranged, I wouldn't want her knowing about AS, and I doubt she'd listen long enough to hear me if I told her...she also seems to make-up large parts of my childhood from time to time so doubt she'd be of any use, and doubt she'd agree to diagnosis.

One big fear of mine is them telling me I HAVE to have my mothers input (or any family members - also not an option as no siblings, fathers family disowned me, and mothers family are the same as her) - that they may say they can't diagnose me or just pushing for mothers input to the point of pushing me into meltdown...heh, but at least that may help with diagnosis

Parents are the best source, especially about your early childhood behavior, but they arent absolutely necessary.

I got the whole nine yards- the official diagnosis a few months ago.

My dad has been dead, and my mom has alzehimers, so niether were available.

But the doctor did have my sister and my girlfriend to interview.


I wasnt present at either interview.

The doctor told me that he was pleased that both "were quite forthcoming".
I told my girlfriend that, and she said "oh yeah, we like to blab."

So close friends and siblings are the next best thing if you dont have living parents.

I didn't have anyone, nor was it asked of me. I'd been seeing a Psychologist for depression, anxiety and general ineptitude at life. I was getting prescribed an anti-anxiety med from the Nurse Practitioner there. It'd been a few months when she decided to have me see the Psychiatrist because she felt that there was more going on. She didn't say what, though. The Psychiatrist had me fill out some personality forms and talked to me at length. I even got an IQ test. Then I came in to discuss my diagnosis, which was Asperger's Syndrome. It totally blind-sided me. I argued. She took the time to explain to me how I fit the diagnosis, how it stretches back into every single thing I've ever struggled with in my life as far back as I can remember. I remember walking out of the office that day so stunned.

But from the previous therapy sessions, the Psychologist already knew my parents weren't an option. They were 1300 miles away at that time, my dad was being controlled and abused by my mother and I didn't have any contact with my mother because she was a whackjob. Now, they're both gone. And my siblings don't know me and I haven't spoken to them in years. I don't even care that they're out there in the world somewhere.

I'd have better luck trying to find my old grade school teachers, who, if they're alive and remember me, could probably give a Psychiatrist an earful about my behavior during my childhood! LOL

I am concerned that they'll want parental input, but since my mother is accessible, nearby, and agrees that I am autistic, I don't have a lot of stress - I feel like her participation improves my chances.

But I do resent the idea (which admittedly is not yet an actuality) that I need my mother to back up either my AS or ADHD diagnoses.

If you don't want your parents to be involved in the diagnostic process, then tell the doc:
1 they're dead
2 they're in another country
3 they refuse to participate
4 you were raised by wolves

I find it ridiculous that any diagnosis would be contingent upon a third-party opinion.
Sounds like the doctor wants your parents to make the diagnosis for him/her.

^^^ can I choose option #4? It would be worth it - deliver that line deadpan, and just wait for the reaction. I LOVE when they struggle to suppress their reactions. I imagine it kind of feels like what I have to do every waking day of my life.

I'm in my 40's, undiagnosed and seriously think I will not be diagnosed because my parents are dead and the childrens Dx criteria are what most 'professionals' use. I myself have extremely spotty recall of my childhood. I can remember certain moments with absolute clarity but the general day to day of my childhood just isn't in my recall file.

Go armed with why you believe you are an aspie - I always suggest going to any doctor with a written list. Face to face it is too easy to get sidetracked, or have doubt introduced, or for emotions to cloud your thinking. Give him a list and let the conversation proceed from there. If you just go in and have to 'explain' why you think you have it - it might end up feeling like defending yourself and your opinion. I don't think most doctors/psychologists intend for this to be the case but it does happen.

Curious to hear how it unfolds for you.