Household chores and executive functions

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I hate doing hosework especially if somone is making me do it before I do somthing I have my mind on. My partner (Megan) does not understand and yells at me

I am very irregular in terms of keeping my tin can ship shape, I do it in infrequent paroxysms of activity.

The clutter bugs me but not enough to do anything about it most days. At times I get on a cleaning kick and throw away everything. I do best when I have someone working beside me like my sister.

Not neat here,but I know where stuff is at.Ill get everything tidy and then it all goes to hell.If I had a house cleaner they have to dust and put everything back in the same place.I don't like it when my stuff is moved

Sounds like me.

I didn't read this entire thread, so someone might have already suggested this. Sorry if I am repeating.

This is jumping off what an older lady I know suggested to me a while ago: to write tasks on an index card and leave them on the kitchen counter and choose one throughout the day. I took it a step or two further. On Saturday, I got out some markers and 3"x5" index cards and sat down at the table and thought about all the stuff I needed to do in the kitchen to clean it. I wrote each task on a card, very simply, just a few words. If the certain task had several different steps, I put each step on a separate card. Then I put them in the order that seemed most practical. It took some time. I made a set of task cards for cleaning the bathroom, caring for the animals, and one set for rooms like the living room and the bedrooms. All the kitchen cards are written in differing shades of green, the bathroom cards are shades of blue, the animal cards are yellow, and the living room and bedroom cards are pinks. The color coding helps me compartmentalize. It was mentally exhausting so I took a little break. It probably took two hours to write and order the cards. I didn't make two different decks of cards for the living room and bedrooms because I was tired and there is only one bathroom deck even though we have two bathrooms; the process is basically the same for each bathroom anyway. I also made a deck for laundry in purple.

Then on Saturday, I tried to clean the kitchen and having the cards helped so much. I just do the task on the card and nothing else until it is completely finished. Then go to the next card and do that. If it is something not absolutely necessary at the time and is too "overwhelming" feeling to do, I leave that card completely out of the stack of things to do or place it further back in the stack. Sometimes just doing that and coming upon it again later after I have already seen it, makes it more tolerable. I actually got the kitchen cleaned on Saturday, except for the floor (I was worn out). It took a lot of the mental load off. It really is about memory and bandwidth. I even wrote cards like, "You can do that later" (obsessional acitivities) and "Take a Stimmy Break"; I look at or think of those cards when I need to. Today I realized I needed to make a "Make food" card just for the sake of stress relief and I also think I should make an "Eat Food" card for myself because I always make food for the kids and I always make sure they eat their food, but then I forget to eat.

If it isn't practical to do the next card, like if the next one says to hang the laundry, but the laundry is still washing, then I put that card somewhere in the stack where I anticipate it might be more appropriate, considering how much time is left on the wash cycle. I can mix the cards too, because they are color-coded and so I instantly know where a task is to be done without having to get slowed up on the change of "scenery" and the change of "subject".

It really takes a mental load off. I go through the cards once or twice a day and see what needs to be done and follow those cards. So far it is working. I feel accomplished and the kitchen and living room look totally different than they did on Saturday morning and for a long time before that.

I needed to make one about checking the fridge for old food. Well, I was in an overloaded mental state when I wrote the cards (it will do that) and often times in doing a task when overloaded with all the things I need to do, I think, I need to check the fridge. But I picture the inside of the fridge. Well, it is usually shut and rightfully so, I have this moment of, "Where is the fridge?" and I can't see the inside of it so I kind of get briefly confused. So, on the card, I wrote, "open the fridge, and empty containers of old food". I know that may be bizarre and maybe like I am not mentally sound, but the image of the inside of the fridge is so much stronger than the outside, in my mind. I hope I can keep this card stuff up. I can already feel my discipline beginning to wane.

Just thought this might help someone else.

Last edited by QuiversWhiskers on 28 Jul 2014, 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The kids like the cards to. I set some age-appropriate ones aside for them. Now they are folding and putting away most of the laundry (I put my own and my husband's away myself). My oldest especially likes to do what her card says and runs back to get another one. I give them the "fold blankets" (those that live on the couch that the kids always mess up), "put shoes away", "throw away trash", "put 3 scoops of food into each cat bowl", "girls put toys in their room". I need to make a "wash windows" card come to think of it. I use straight vinegar on the windows because cleaning chemicals make me sick. The kids love to wash the windows and they love to dust things.

Yeah, the "you can do that later" card? Couldn't follow that one for long.

Usually what happens is I put something off so long that I have to do it like my laundry or dishes and then I just get into the mode of where I do everything at once.