how can I be kind yet clear w ASD friend?

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Well, I believe that the one who knows better should either be understanding, compassionate and try to lead by example or be wise enough to know that they have been bested.

Me too!

Yup, ignoring wouldn't be kind, much better to humour and guide if need be.

I used to "chew my friends ear off", and he'd cut me short with a quip like: "How many coffees have you had Tom?" I wouldn't get it unless he smiled and said it in such a way that it was obvious he was teasing me, but I didn't mind, because it's so much less hurtful than someone, looking at their watch and saying they have to be somewhere. If I couldn't be derailed that easily, he'd just say: "look, you're ruminating too much about this" and then he'd change the subject.

Good friend.

I wish more people would have done this with me. I think I'd have responded to it. Better than letting me keep doing it over and over again, getting more and more frustrated, then snapping at me when they just can't take it anymore, leaving me embarassed at how I've been bugging the crap out of someone I actually like (and if I'm talking that much to you it definitely means I enjoy your company, which only makes it sting all the more when I realize how inconsiderate I've been) and feeling like I have to avoid the person from then on.

I mean, I know its not people's job to prevent me from annoying them. That's my responsibility. But, try as I might, I'm gonna screw up sometimes and if there's anything a person likes about me at all, if there's a part of them that wants me as a friend, then handling it the way your friend did is by far the kinder option.