Requesting feedback about adult breakdown/burnout

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BigSnoopy126
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09 Oct 2015, 4:47 pm

Never crashed that badly, never in an institution, but had burnout from law practice trying to do *everything* out of my home, since I couldn't afford an office space and never got hired; which was a saving grace as it turned out. I vividly recall taking more off days, playing video games, etc. a lot more - I variety of thigns allowed me to - if you want to continue the "crash" analogy - deploy some parachutes and come down more gently. One of them being the fact I *waas* self-employed, I could just say "no more litigation," "no more family law," and limit myself to wills, estates, probate, and some real estate/contracts.

Even then, I finally accepted I'm a part-time attorney and that I wasn't going to be able to get my loans paid off and got a disability discharge due to my 20;/800 vision and other handicaps; I'd never made enough to even get off of Disability in the first place.

So, what were some of those parachutes?

1. Going back to what pleased me when younger. FOr over a year, I slept with stuffed animals, one on each side of the bed, different ones each night, and *boy*, did that help. I slept more peacefully, partly perhaps the feel of the aniamls there, and it got to the point I didn't need them the whole night or at all, though i might occasionally do so. (I collected over 100 stuffed dogs when little, 126 still extant plus 3 I got as gifts in those few years)

2. Deveoped a hobby. I got so into "Full House," and people complaining (perhaps just for attention) about so-called errors that I could easily spot as logical really helped because it compelled me to work with others to write an entire Chronology for "Full House" which is still available on the site full-houerse.org, under "the show" I think. Book universe, too. I am not as interested in it now because I've sort of closed thigns out, but that was a great break.

3. I went back to school to get a Masters in Ministry, and while I didn't become a pastor, though I wanted to, I do a lot of work online and with my church and a local inner city ministry.

4. I've written several Print On Demand books.

I'm in my mid-'40s now and 15 years later, it's hard to believe I had the problems I did. Still a few little bits but I think that just comes with the stress of adulthood and the fact this world is a much more difficult place. But, my faith in Jesus helping me through it all has really gotten me through everything. I remember even dedicating my stuffed animals to Him at the start of this; he knew I needed them and led me to use them.

So, that is the sort of thing that might help, although everyone's different so I don't know what you'll be best at.

P.S.: I forgot to add a few things.

Exercise: I do that a lot more, I do up to 100 jumping jacks at a time for instance; with a touch of cerebral palsy too it's hard to do a lot of it besides walking, but I do that a lot and I don't mind if someone sees me skipping downt he street. In fact, skipping when you don't feel like it, from what I've found, can make you feel better, though again, your mileage may vary.

This was around the time I started looking into Asperger's and realized I am on the borderline between it and mere PDD-NOS. I scored about 30 on the AQ Quiz, for instance.

If you can't bring yourself to do something like write bills, one trick I found was pretending said stuffed animals were doing things as me - or I as them.Not all Aspies are good at pretend play, though, so this might not work, but it did for me closing out a few of those law clients at the worst, and getting closure on some other stuff.

Finally, if I'm misreading these I'm sorry, but looking back now I see this thread is over a year old, so I'm sorry if I replied to one that someone had brought back to life which was too old.



PlushDisaster
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10 Oct 2015, 3:44 pm

I had one at 24. I went abroad to study and suddenly found out that despite doing just fine at home when parents were absent (such as they went for a month of holidays, and I had to do things connected to my studying) I am at loss over small things such as I am unable to shop for the same food ingredients, because they aren't there. And have trouble eating local cuisine or finding out what hours are the shops open. And this was only one of those things.
Etc, etc, being bullied at the student practice, lost 5 kg (I am petite and almost underweight anyway), developed anxiety disorder and depression.
This was my last year, I defended my thesis and should just let myself recover. Instead after summer holiday I applied for work, because "it is so childish that I am crying so often". Unresolved issues, another bullying boss, salary too small to move out from parents, parents unhappy with the fiance, etc, etc. God my 20's were a nightmare. But it got so much better afterwards.
I'm kind of overexerting myself again, and I have to stop myself before this happens.



jkrane
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13 Oct 2015, 3:49 pm

cardinality wrote:
Hi all,

I'm kind of stuck at the moment life-wise and was hoping I could hear from other adult Aspies who have had similar life-breakdowns/burnouts at some point.

TL;DR: I used to be a functional adult but then I just couldn't do it anymore & I had a Total Life Breakdown. :( I don't know what to do next.


Been there, still doing that. lol.

My life was wrecked along with many others after the 2008 (in canada, 2009/10) financial crisis. Work became impossible, because I no longer had the energy to do the work of 4 people. I used to work with 3 other people who's hours got cut to oblivion. Work became less about work, and more about survival, which I wasn't used to, seeing as we live in a developed country. Every institution whether it is a grocery store or a hospital is woefully understaffed. Front-line workers can no longer effectively do their jobs.

Ever walked into a store to ask a question, and no one knew what they were doing? That's the norm in all stores. Service people are useless, because they are poorly trained in haste, and do not have other coworkers they can rely on to learn.

Education has been destroyed - completely.

If you are either:

not superhuman, don't have connections, or are unlucky...forget about "making it" in this world. This is a dying world, with no room for growth, beginning, or errors.

If you can, just try and live with friends or relatives, and go on assistance.

Even when I first started working, it was possible to live somewhat comfortably on minimum or low wage. Now it's hard to live even if you have a good wage.



starkid
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13 Oct 2015, 4:03 pm

Something is wrong with this thread. I keep getting e-mail notifications, but there are never any new posts when I look at this page.


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HisShadowX
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24 Oct 2015, 10:11 am

I am forced to pay child support to two women who tricked me into having children one for immigration and the other because she was gay and used me to have a kid.

I can't fully break down because I'll go to jail and get extorted every week with a new threat.



Malus_Domestica
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06 Nov 2015, 2:56 am

BirdInFlight wrote:

I totally get that as its similar in my case. "Before" means nothing, in fact the "before" is exactly what got you to today's issues, as is my case also. Just wanted to say I totally understand.

.


Can I just say how much this struck a chord in me today? I crashed about a year ago, not so bad as to land me in therapy or anything, but I had been burning my candle at both ends for a while and then a bunch of stressful, negative events happened and then I just fell. Like I put the hand brake on. And I've been frustrated all year because I felt that the "before" was a successful, impressive way to live, but of course (why didn't I see it before?) I CAN'T go back to that because I would just crash again. I've felt bad for the things I've stopped doing, but now I can begin to see that I needed to cut them out in order to recover.

Oh man, I love this forum.


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JohnCNM
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06 Nov 2015, 3:06 am

Malus_Domestica wrote:
but of course (why didn't I see it before?) I CAN'T go back to that because I would just crash again.


Amen totally agree. We have to live forward, find new ways. (What I do find good is to spot moments when things go well, and trying to capture what was good then and might be sustainable (in my case I find meditation benefits with a c.2-3 day time lag, also keeping life simple and non-stressful, getting jobs done early, and having no coffee, chocolate, alcohol or other drugs (I increasingly think no sugar or music either) - i.e. things that are realistically sustainable, ; not, as you imply, things based on impressive worldly achievement, ego.) Thanks for posting



Malus_Domestica
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06 Nov 2015, 3:37 am

JohnCNM wrote:
Malus_Domestica wrote:
but of course (why didn't I see it before?) I CAN'T go back to that because I would just crash again.


Amen totally agree. We have to live forward, find new ways. (What I do find good is to spot moments when things go well, and trying to capture what was good then and might be sustainable (in my case I find meditation benefits with a c.2-3 day time lag, also keeping life simple and non-stressful, getting jobs done early, and having no coffee, chocolate, alcohol or other drugs (I increasingly think no sugar or music either) - i.e. things that are realistically sustainable, ; not, as you imply, things based on impressive worldly achievement, ego.) Thanks for posting


Thank you! I've always been fascinated with "the simple life" - I have books on simple living, I've been fascinated with nuns and monks for instance, the whole Quaker thing (especially interior and architecture, non-clutter), the Amish culture ... except I'm an atheist, haha. I would love an existence that is more grounded and thorough, but right now I feel I'm rushing through on a superficial level without getting anything done. I'm a total sugar and coffee addict and need to kick myself in the butt to finally do something about it. I rarely listen to music, in fact. And rarely drink alcohol.


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JohnCNM
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06 Nov 2015, 3:44 am

I think coffee is terrible stuff
http://caffeineevaluation.blogspot.co.uk/
http://coffeefaq.com/site/node/11

especially for people who metabolize it slowly

(from my 23andme genetic analysis;
Journal JAMA
Study Size
Replications None
Contrary Studies None
Applicable Ethnicities European
Marker rs762551
Caffeine is primarily metabolized by the liver enzyme cytochrome P450 1A2 (CYP1A2). The form of the SNP rs762551 a person has determines how fast CYP1A2 metabolizes caffeine. In this study, people with the slower version of the CYP1A2 enzyme who also drank at least two to three cups of coffee per day had a significantly increased risk of a non-fatal heart attack. The study found that fast metabolizers, on the other hand, may have actually reduced their heart attack risk by drinking coffee.

Who Genotype Genetic Result
AC Slow caffeine metabolizer: drinking coffee increased subjects' heart attack risk.

Citations
Cornelis MC et al. (2006) . “Coffee, CYP1A2 genotype, and risk of myocardial infarction.” JAMA 295(10):1135-41.)



Malus_Domestica
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06 Nov 2015, 4:44 am

Oh man ... my morning routine is brewing a nice big cup of Ethiopian yirgacheffe (freshly ground of course) in my hand brewer. I'll have to wean myself off it though, otherwise I get terrible headaches. I've managed it before though. Sugar's gonna be a lot worse.


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xile123
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06 Nov 2015, 4:54 am

cardinality wrote:
Hi all,

I'm kind of stuck at the moment life-wise and was hoping I could hear from other adult Aspies who have had similar life-breakdowns/burnouts at some point.

TL;DR: I used to be a functional adult but then I just couldn't do it anymore & I had a Total Life Breakdown. :( I don't know what to do next.


ive been stuck in a rutt for years so i can sympathize with you.



underwater
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06 Nov 2015, 4:56 am

HisShadowX wrote:
I am forced to pay child support to two women who tricked me into having children one for immigration and the other because she was gay and used me to have a kid.

I can't fully break down because I'll go to jail and get extorted every week with a new threat.


That's awful. I'm sorta getting why you are so frustrated, now.



underwater
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06 Nov 2015, 4:59 am

BigSnoopy126 wrote:

1. Going back to what pleased me when younger. FOr over a year, I slept with stuffed animals, one on each side of the bed, different ones each night, and *boy*, did that help. I slept more peacefully, partly perhaps the feel of the aniamls there, and it got to the point I didn't need them the whole night or at all, though i might occasionally do so. (I collected over 100 stuffed dogs when little, 126 still extant plus 3 I got as gifts in those few years)



Man, sometimes I see all these threads on this forum that don't resonate with me, and then suddenly someone posts something like this and I think "I thought I was the ONLY one who did this!"



em_tsuj
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29 Nov 2015, 11:35 pm

Thanks for this thread. Having a breakdown right now. Scared. Don't know what's coming next but can't keep doing what I'm doing.



smudge
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30 Nov 2015, 7:41 am

JohnCNM wrote:
I think coffee is terrible stuff
http://caffeineevaluation.blogspot.co.uk/
http://coffeefaq.com/site/node/11

especially for people who metabolize it slowly

(from my 23andme genetic analysis;
Journal JAMA
Study Size
Replications None
Contrary Studies None
Applicable Ethnicities European
Marker rs762551
Caffeine is primarily metabolized by the liver enzyme cytochrome P450 1A2 (CYP1A2). The form of the SNP rs762551 a person has determines how fast CYP1A2 metabolizes caffeine. In this study, people with the slower version of the CYP1A2 enzyme who also drank at least two to three cups of coffee per day had a significantly increased risk of a non-fatal heart attack. The study found that fast metabolizers, on the other hand, may have actually reduced their heart attack risk by drinking coffee.

Who Genotype Genetic Result
AC Slow caffeine metabolizer: drinking coffee increased subjects' heart attack risk.

Citations
Cornelis MC et al. (2006) . “Coffee, CYP1A2 genotype, and risk of myocardial infarction.” JAMA 295(10):1135-41.)


Drink decaff then. I love coffee. I take it green tea would be no good either.



smudge
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30 Nov 2015, 7:44 am

^^ :( I sympathise. It isn't nice being in limbo and feeling like the world is going to end.

Classical music has been helping me. I used to hate it, but these days I find it calming. Is there anyone you can speak to?