Dealing with people who can't give you clear information

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This one is always a real challenge for me. Some NT people can give me a set of information or instructions and it is totally clear what they want or are trying to convey. Others is it a bunch of vague rambling nonsense. I know it isn't all me because I don't have this problem with everyone in various situations, just a few people (and it is always with those same people). IE: I need this soon with no hint what soon might be (an hour, a day?) or send me a few of something (you need 2? 10?) Or a string of sentences that don't seem to have a clear relation to the others.

Some I can manage them by sending a reply confirming what they want or need to make sure I understand what they are actually expecting, or in a way to extract the rest of the information. Then there are some that any sort of question to try to confirm or refine what they are saying or asking for sends them into a rage and I never do get the additional needed information. I try to get better information without being confrontational or in some way accusing them of anything but the same words that some people are totally ok with seems to offend others. It really becomes a problem when these people are a boss, coworker or family member and you can't really tell them to go take a leap.

I loathe these kinds of vague communications and I really do not understand exactly what these people want and hate to guess because I will probably guess wrong

I have had these same experiences.

I have the same struggle too. My dad is also one of those people who give unclear instructions and then get into a rage when I ask to clarify. I'm still recovering from how he acted sometimes.

Ugh, I HATE it when I need information from someone, and all they'll give me are some vague tidbits, as if they expect me to know exactly what they are talking about. Then, later on, when I make use of whatever little information they've given me, THAT'S when they decide to give me the information I would have liked to have in the first f*****g place. f**k, if you want me to know something, tell me! Oftentimes, if I absolutely have to extract the rest of the information I need from someone, I'll end up using someone else as a mediator, because they'll ask the questions differently enough that they can get the information, or at least explain to me what the other person really wants to say.

It's like I need a translator to understand other people speaking my own god damn language sometimes.

My office clerk was like this. I would ask and repeat to make sure I understand and he would respond with "What did I just tell you?' and "How long have you been working here?" and it always made me feel bad like I was stupid and that I had a bad memory. I would try and make guesses what he meant and still get it wrong. I was trying to read between the lines and think abstractly. I never knew when he meant what he meant because I would be thinking too hard what he told me where an item was at. Some people just don't have patience with me, even some people on the autism spectrum don't have patience for me either because I sometimes have to hear something more than once for it to sink into my brain and they assume I am not listening and I would think they would understand but I guess they don't have that issue or else they would understand.

I experience this from time to time as well.

Language is often the single greatest impediment to communication. I find it unfortunate that words have no objective meaning. Just because a dictionary says a word means something, doesn't mean when I use it other people will interpret what I say the way I intend. It becomes especially aggravating when people use words they don't know the definition to or how to use properly. When they say something that doesn't mean what they think it means, and I respond to what they said, instead of what they intended, or I'll ask for clarifying information and then all of a sudden I'm trying to make them look stupid, when all I really need to know is what they think that word means, because once I know that, I can act accordingly, but since we've had that fight about it, now they use the word differently, which is just a headache and a mess.
Language sucks because it is so transient. What I think a word means can change over time, and might not mean the same thing to someone else.

Good luck and stay safe.

I think there are many people that don't give specific/clear information and expect you to just "get it". They are not aware of whether they are being clear/specific or not in giving you the information. They don't think about organizing their information and just throw a disorganized mess of information at you. And because they are not aware of their poor delivery of information, they get annoyed when you try to clarify what they mean as if you were stupid.

Ever encountered the situation where information you actually need is missing. With what you are given including information which is irrelevent to the task in hand?

Possibly to also avoid the first person getting angry...

Sometimes to stop them trying to translate/interpret things themselves. I don't know how many times I've though "Just tell me what the actual error message the computer gave!".

Possibly they are attempting to send some of the information non-verbally. (Even when using e-mail.)

Somehow it rarely gets seen as their fault.

Despite what they may like to think, many NTs are poor communicators and have the most appalling interpersonal skills and grasp of vital detail - the very failings for which they so often reproach Aspergians. Plus their vocabulary and use of language leave much to be desired.

So I think the OP is behaving completely reasonably under the circumstances. I frequently annoy people by asking for confirmation, going into (often overlooked) detail and holding them to deadlines. Neurotypicals have a habit of promising but not delivering.

true, imo
and a convenient very bad memory,
sadly they are far more self-convinced.

At one point in my life I worked as a project manager (as one of my roles at a job). The team of very NT people in one department that supplied needed information were the worst about not meeting deadlines and not completing work other departments needed in order to complete their work.

I'm a rambler. I know I'm a rambler. When people rephrase what I'm saying (do you mean X or Y?) to clarify, I take that as a hint that I'm not being clear.

I have known other ramblers who become offended when you ask for clarification. And I ramble myself, so why would they get mad at me? They do.

You just have to keep asking. If people think you're stupid, that's their problem. You need the information, so you have to ask.