Driving

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I don't currently drive a car (every time I tried to learn when I was younger (I'm over 30) I got easily overwhelmed and had a panic attack) but its looking like I might have to soon. My workplace is changing locations. I am currently using public transportation to get to and from work. Its very convenient right now (2 min walk to stop 30 mins to downtown 2min walk to work) The new location will require a wait of at least 1/2 hour downtown until the next bus and walk of almost a quarter of mile from the closest stop to work. If you drive how did you get over the anxiety? I really don't want to move and I can not quit!

Learning to drive a manual from someone who knows the mechanicals is the best way to learn the most car control, and it can save you a lot of gas money. Things like 1st gear & hill starts are tougher on one's nerves while you practice but ultimately it builds more confidence about what the car is doing and where the wheels are.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I guess that the best is practicing, taking short rides at the begining.

Hence my suggestion of learning on a manual. ^ That's the only way to do so.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I suggest learning with an automatic, if you have to learn in a limited time frame.
Basically it is easier, especially for city driving, the car changes gears and you don't have to be anxious about leg coordination, dramatically reducing the chances of the engine cutting out.
Long term though, a manual license is a better option.

Find a patient instructor, ideally some one your not related to or friends with. Maybe seek some therapy to reduce your anxiety and build your confidence. Practice is crucial, be patient with yourself, and bring someone knowledgeable with you when buying your first car.

Practice the route when there is no traffic.

If possible, try to avoid "rush hour" traffic.

I worked up, from bicycle, to riding lawnmower, to tractor, to off-road car. Dad told me to quit practising when all the gravel in the driveway moved to the outside of the turn. Got my chauffeur's licence at 16 + 2 weeks on ice. If you are stuck in a city, spend a lot of time in empty parking lots or industrial alleys, etc, until everything about the car is second nature, and you can focus on traffic when you get there. Practice quick stops and turns where it is safe to lose control, don't just try to get from A to B - be ready for anything. If your reflexes are hopeless, wait a few years for the robocabs to arrive.

I wonder if you could ride a tricycle to work?

Forget about learning stick unless you have to. It's an added and unnecessary complication.
Find someone who is a good driver and spend some time as a passenger with them. Get a feel for the car and their habits.
Drive in an open area so that you can do things you can't on the street. Try doing different things with the car to see how it responds to you. Every car is different. You need to learn what to expect from the car in different circumstances.
When driving in traffic always go with the flow of traffic within 20k of the speed limit. But consider the conditions too. People often go too fast in rain or snow.
Never stop looking. Assume you are surrounded by chaos, with only traffic signs and the occasional appearance of police cars to keep the laws of physics in check.

I'd still say learning manual is the safest way to go about it. It's dangerous to begin with a point & click with respects to any machine. You might as well learn to operate the majority of ground vehicles. It could save lives in many scenarios.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Granted that each of us is different, I find a manual *less* distracting to drive. Automatics never shift when and how I want them to. That 'wrong' shifting is jarring and distracting.

I don't drive automatics. If I try to, I end up slamming the brake with my left foot when I would normally push in the clutch. Then again, I grew up in an automotive shop and my Dad mostly dealt with European imports- so I had to learn to drive a manual first.

13% of American drivers prefer manual transmissions and there's not much out there for the 13%. It's getting harder and harder to find a decent car, although I lucked out when I got my 2014 Corolla S- manual, and loaded out.

I made my son learn to drive a manual first (he is neurotypical and he picked it much more quickly than I did) before he took his driver's test. Driving a manual forces you to pay better attention as you drive. You have more control in inclement weather in a manual, and it is still a valuable skill if you want to work in any of the automotive professions.

At first, it might be best to drive around a parking a lot with a trusted, CALM person in an automatic. Loosen your nerves and get used to the idea of being behind the wheel. Then get professional instruction, you'll get better rates on your car insurance, an experienced teacher will have dealt with those prone to anxiety and a good one will know the folks at the DMV. Your local community college should offer lessons.

I had a lot of trouble learning with panic and anxiety while driving. I am 32 and I still rarely have it but now I know how to control it and dont cross the point of no return. Practice, Practice, Practice the more you do it the more confortable you are going to feel. It is going to be a pain in the ass at first, but believe me... the secret is keep doing it.

I crashed the first time my dad gave me the car to go alone to school and I swore to myself I wouldn't drive again. For some reason I kept doing it and now I am pretty confortable with it... I dont like it or enjoy it, but I do it. I have done trips as long as 7 hours straight driving-

Been driving over 25 years now and on stressy days I think of it as a game. Used to play arcade type racing games in my late teens though so suppose that helps. And I can dissociate at will pretty much. I go on automatic I suppose.

I prefer manuals as you have more control over your engine. Also try to 'feel' your car, with the right shoes clutch control becomes a lot easier and listening to the engine helps with gear changes. At one point I made it a mission to understand the internal combustion engine, suppose that was more of a special interest.
I've driven diesels for years now, I prefer it over petrol cars not that I can explain why. Once I made the switch I never looked back really.
Figure out a route that is comfortable to you. And stick to it. Venture into unknown territory only if you really have to or really want to. Personally I don't like traffic light junctions and have all routes covered to pass as little of them as possible
And when you do find yourself in a stressy situation there is nothing wrong with swearing even be it at your own stupidity. With time you will find your own ways to relieve the tension. Sometimes it calms me down to listen to the radio.
Like someone else said, the more you practice, the more confident you will get in your own abilities. I learnt to drive in Central London. My driving school was in Baker Street and I remember going there because it was like diving in the deep end. I sort of had the idea that if I could learn to drive in Central London and pass the test I would eventually manage everywhere. And it worked out.
I refuse to drive in cities that have trams though because I never sure what direction they may be coming from.