Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

28 Jul 2015, 3:15 pm

I feel like I've missed out a bit. Now that I have better social skills my peers don't want to socialise. They'd rather go home and put their feet up. I actually get on better with younger people, but I feel like I'm tagging along and I don't really belong. I don't have kids or a partner so have free time, but feel like there's no one to spend the free time with. Then I see my younger friends out and about on Facebook and it makes me feel kind of sad. I wish I'd had that when I was younger.

This is a ramble, but I feel like I was never young. Getting older is difficult to accept.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,419
Location: Long Island, New York

28 Jul 2015, 8:48 pm

This is true for me. When I was a kid I got along better with adults then those my own age. As an adult I got along with kids more then adults. I have read many posts with people having similar experiences.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

It is Autism Acceptance Month

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


BigSnoopy126
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 172
Location: 5 miles north of 5 miles south of me

31 Jul 2015, 12:17 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
This is true for me. When I was a kid I got along better with adults then those my own age. As an adult I got along with kids more then adults. I have read many posts with people having similar experiences.


Same here to a good extent. i suspect that when you're young, peer relationships are as much about understanding your place in the world as much as anything. Oh, you develop friends along the way, and the good ones stay, as I posted in the topic of friends being loners or not. And, I've found really good friends. They're the kind I can call on the phone and talk to and stuff like that now.

I've always felt like I had to have a plan - which is probably the biggest difference between myself and lots of young people who will many times do stuff "just because." So, some of that stuff I did when younger - going out for ice cream, play miniature golf, etc., some evening I did because others were doing them, but I lacked the spontaneity of some youth. that kept me out of trouble a lot becasue I considered the consequences of things much more easily, but it also means my youth did miss something. I got along okay with young people. I didn't always understand them but I put up with it because they were nice to me and my biggest mistake was not expressing how much they meant to me. (But then, I'm not sure if I could have verbalized it if it would have come off as weird at the time.) However, as adults, I dont' think people hve the spontaneity anymore that they did when younger. they are so tied to their schedules.

Now, I seem to relate more to kids. And, I channel that into doing a whole lot with my church's youth groups, just encouraging them and being a helper there. I am very honest about myself and will say things that probably make them feel more comfortable themselves, like once I flat out said, "You know, I'm not really sure what a good topic of conversation is right now." I mean, to a middle schooler at an age when all sorts of thigns are going on with them, I think they like to hear that we adults aren't always comfortable ourselves. They feel like it's okay to be themselves then.

Sorry, that got off track. Anyway, I have a niche and I fill it very well. I'd love to do more, but I know my limits, and I'm accepted just as I am. And, hopefully I'm encouraging our young people to accept others that way, too.



Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

01 Aug 2015, 4:13 pm

Well, I'm not young, either, and, so far, I've missed out on everything it's possible to miss out on. I sort of tried to stop this process and start living for real, but failed, and now it's pretty apparent there won't be many chances left to do anything that might justify having soiled the planet with my dirty feet.


_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


Lizard_Queen
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2015
Posts: 4

26 Aug 2015, 7:22 pm

I can relate to this a lot. When I was in my late teens and early 20s I became very socially withdrawn. I wanted to go out and make friends but I didn't know how. Now I am 32 and my social skills are far better than what they were, and I feel like I've learnt how to make friends, but it's hard to relate to people my age because I am emotionally immature for my age. People my age are settling down and having kids, and that's just not where I am at. I find it very hard to relate to people with enough maturity to do that.

When I'm with people my age, I can't fit in with them, and with younger people I feel old. I can't win.



syzygyish
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

27 Aug 2015, 7:16 am

Ditto everybody^

I literally reached the point today when I can talk to anybody!
I was in a supermarket and saw a lady looking at some rib fillet and I asked her why, she said because of the marbling
and I said no That's not what I look for and I explaind to her the important cuts on a rib fillet
then I got behind her in the supermarket lane and I told the checkout chick that there was an Australian 20 cent piece that is worth $200 dollars,
then I started talking to the incredibly obese woman behind me and starting playing with her children

and then we (well, I) started talking about the best Oysters in the World

So I am socially at the point of a prepubescent teenager
at 48

...PFFT!

You know what?
I'm not going to think about it!

If I'm a socially awkward 48 year old,
so what?

I enjoy teaching and explaining
I don't care if some one says that was awesome or I learnt so much or your the wisest person on WP
I'm just here to share
:heart:


_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb