What happens when somebody commits suicide...

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I meant it as a punishment for a successful suicide. It’s akin to this.



“Thou art subversive, rebellious, revolutionary, and, after being hanged, thou wilt still be tortured!”
“Heh, then you don’t appreciate our jokes [in Brazil, it’s popular to make jokes about the Portuguese, who are usually portrayed as dumb], but are you going to torture me after death? What nonsense! [an idiom that literally means ‘with no feet or head’]”
“That’s exactly how thou wilt end up: with no feet or head!”

I know of two people who committed suicide.
- One was an Uncle. He committed suicide when he was ~ 35.
- The other was my first girlfriend. We had dated in High School for almost 2 years. About 10 years later, I learned that she had committed suicide.

What happens? Nothing. They die. I imagine they leave behind people wondering whether they could have done something to prevent it from happening.

Do you think it is considered suicide if you decide not to fight back against an attacker ahead of time? Say, you already know that if a stranger has a deadly weapon, there is a very likely chance of not fighting back -- letting that person commit murder. If it actually happens, is that suicide? Assisted suicide?

Something I've noticed is that, when someone kills themselves, everyone rallies around saying "oh why did they do it, they should have asked for help!" "If anyone ever feels like doing that I'll be there for them!". But when you actually ask for help suddenly they're no where to be found.

NO!

Suicide is one person following through with his or own choice to end his or her own life.

The fact that people who commit suicide usually blame others is irrelevant, whether those others are parents, siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends, or society.

Those who commit suicide really have no one to blame but themselves.

Only this, and nothing more.

Suicide by Proxy.

For example, "Suicide by Cop" is a suicide method in which a suicidal individual deliberately behaves in a threatening manner, with the goal being to provoke a lethal response from a law enforcement officer, and place blame for the individual's death on the officer.

"Suicide by Train" is a suicide method in which a suicidal individual deliberately puts himself in the path of a moving train, with the goal being to allow the train to strike or run over the individual. "Suicide by Truck" is similar, but usually happens on a busy freeway. In both cases, the drivers are unable to stop their vehicles in time, even though the individual may believe otherwise.

"Suicide by Bully" could then be the practice of walking up to the biggest, baddest, meanest person you know and assaulting or insulting him, then giving no resistance as he busts your skull open.

In any case, the individuals deliberately planned their deaths, relying on the reflexive response (or lack thereof) of someone else to bring about their deaths, and the others are usually exonerated for their actions.

So why don't they just smear their bodies with gravy and go jump into a lion's cage?

No, not deliberate. If someone were to just decide beforehand to not defend their life in the event there was an attacker after them (not seeking to die, but if that life threatening event were to come up there would be no resistance), would that be considered a form of suicide?

If you saw the 1998 movie 'Deep Impact' (no need to have seen it in '98, just any time between then and now), some of the characters decided to run for higher elevations, and others decided to just let the comets kill them -- one of the main characters and her father decided to stand on the beach and let the tsunami wave hit them. Is it a form of suicide if you decide not to fight for your life? (deciding before anything actually happens -- premeditated the act of giving in)

It has a profound effect on family and friends, and perhaps most importantly, increases the risk of family members also committing suicide. For this reason alone, it is "selfish." Suicide of a family member or close friend almost always comes as a shock, and it adds suicide as an option for oneself that previously was unthinkable.

I speak from both the mental health literature and also personal experience. A close friend, whom I had distanced from for self-protective reasons, took this route. A few months later another member of our small community did the same. I don't know if the second suicide was a contagion event, but it might have been. I've also had the sadness of seeing both of my children mourn a friend's suicide.

Mental illness runs throughout my family tree, but thankfully we have avoided this outcome.

This makes sense. My Uncle committed suicide when I was 12 or 13. When he died, my parents made certain I didn’t know (that he had committed suicide). I didn’t find out until I was in my young 20s. They purposely “shielded” this information from me, as they were scared I might attempt to do something similar. Both my siblings (one older, one younger) knew about the suicide many years before me.

By the way, I have no doubt about this thing running in families. As it is my understanding that things like having a predisposition to depression can be genetic.

One other note. When I was a senior in high school, I took an intro to psychology class. I remember becoming fascinated with suicide, trying to understand why/when people did it. I read various books about the topic. It became an intense interest, albeit for a fairly short time (< 1 year).

Well both parties are being selfish - those who commit suicide are selfishly wanting to escape their pain, which results in others being inflicted with grief. However, those who want the victim to stay alive are selfishly driven by their need to avoid grief, at the expense of keeping the victim in a state of pain.

Selfishness isn't necessarily a bad thing, everyone wants to avoid pain. I do wonder, however, whether the pain of grief is worse than the pain causing someone to kill themselves. I would guess no, because most people who lose someone to suicide do not end up killing themselves too.

I've heard suicide be compared to the people who jumped out of the Windows of the WTC during 9/11. Faced with dying painfully by fire or dying by hitting the ground, many "chose" the still terrifying, but less painful, route. In terms of suicide, the painful and inescapable "flames" exist in the persons mind (depression, anxiety, etc).

Suicide to escape a real threat - or a worse fate - is one thing. People who would rather die peacefully in their sleep than die a long and painful death from cancer deserve our sympathy, in my opinion.

It's those people whose "threats" are imaginary ("Nobody loves me! My life has no meaning!"), or who exaggerate a singular incident ("She left me! My life is over!"), or who have expectations beyond reason ("He gave me an A-minus when I deserved an A-plus-plus! I can't live with this shame!"), or who expect the rest of the world to read their minds and simply know when they need help ("I'm hurting inside and nobody cares! Why can't they see it?"), and then choose to kill themselves deserve no sympathy at all, because it is they who can't handle reality and who seek an ad hoc "revenge" on the rest of us for the troubles they've caused for themselves.

I was once among a large group of people that was blamed by a person who committed suicide for not being friendly to that person, when most of us didn't even know that the person even existed until we were questioned by the authorities.

Some people do use blame as their last act of "revenge" against imaginary enemies.

Why is someone suffering from depression less worthy of our sympathy? Something's wrong with their brain, it causes them (emotional) pain, which can be just as agonising, if not more so, than physical pain.

Obviously I don't agree with someone blaming everyone for killing themselves. Ultimately it was their choice. I'm also against people who walk in front of trains or lorries, thus traumatising the driver and passengers. I think if you're gonna do it, you should at least try to minimise the pain you cause to others.

Well, of course someone who is clinically depressed, bipolar, or depressed in some way deserves sympathy. No one is denying that.

It's when their lives are ended by their own choice that my sympathy ends, because (1) they are the ones to blame for their own deaths, and (2) sympathy for the dead is pointless.

Now ... if their depressive state is so severe that a court declares them "Non Compos Mentis" (Not Mentally Competent), then whoever is appointed their caregiver should be held accountable for negligence and/or dereliction of duty if the depressed person commits suicide. That makes legal sense.

This thread should not have been opened in the Haven at all, Pezar.

The Haven is here for the seeking or receiving of support for difficulties any member is experiencing in their own lives, it isn't for philosophical/political speculation at any time, nor your opinions of contentious matters; every poster here needs be aware of and sensitive to the purpose of this forum at all times, not losing sight of the fact that some people come here because they are at the very edge of desperation - you don't want to be the thoughtless poster whose mindless or callous comment tips them over the edge.

Moved to In Depth Adult Life Forum.

Depression is treatable. Untreated depression is likely to lead to suicide.

I wanted to respond to this one, because people who commit suicide don't always TELL others that they are in trouble. Depression can make a person withdraw into a shell and not seek out help.

Eleven years ago, my brother shot himself. We all knew he was in very deep trouble, and were doing everything we could to help. He was accused of a crime he said he did not commit, and we believed him. My mom and his fiancé hired a lawyer, and I was researching constitutional law every night trying to find legal precedents to overturn the case. I was certain we could win, if not the initial case, then on appeal. I wanted to go out there to give him emotional support, but he told me to wait until the trial and save up my vacation.

Then one day, his lawyer said he didn't they could win. Without telling any of us, or telling us he had been feeling suicidal, he drove out into the desert and shot himself. He didn't give us the chance to help, or to try to make it better.

I don't blame him for what he did. I don't think of him as "selfish." I know he was terribly depressed and couldn't stand the thought of being cut off from his beloved outdoors. The three months in jail before the judge allowed him to be bailed out was devastating. His act made sense for him, but I regret that he never reached out to us for emotional support. He never even talked about how he felt. He left behind a grieving mother, brother, sister, two children, and a fiancé.

The grieving NEVER STOPS. Let's be clear about that. If one has their reasons for committing suicide, I get that, but one should know that the grieving is not temporary. If you take this path, you will leave your loved ones with a permanent wound, without giving them the chance to help. If they are worth anything, they want to help. I would have driven my brother to Bolivia if that was what was needed to keep him alive.