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adoylelb90815
Deinonychus
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08 Apr 2017, 1:13 am

At this point, my fiancee and I don't want children, mostly because in my family, there are things like bipolar disorder and possibly autism that is genetic. I say that because one of my great grandmothers had Aspie traits, from what I've heard as she died before I was born, so I wouldn't know for sure. Another issue is that I've struggled with steady employment, to the point where I'm on SSI, and I never wanted to bring a child into the world that I wouldn't really be able to support on my own. Now that I'm older, there's also the increased risk of things like Down syndrome and other genetic issues, if I'm still fertile.

I got myself that IUD that lasts for 10 years a month ago, as it's easier to get than having one's tubes tied even though I'm 41 and never had children. I just got tired of dealing with the pharmacy every month, and the fact that birth control prescriptions don't actually last a full year.



seaweed
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08 Apr 2017, 3:12 pm

eventually, if i have a stable income and a partner, i would consider adoption.
@randomfox, i have wondered about that too. i have no idea how much an autism diagnosis would matter. mental illness diagnoses too.



ltcvnzl
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08 Apr 2017, 11:00 pm

I want but I'm afraid I won't be able to love them and to raise them properly and they will end up sad and miserable as I am

also I don't have a partner and I don't think I'll have ever



alpacka
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10 Apr 2017, 9:35 am

I have never felt that I want any but sometimes I feel maybe it could be rewarding in some way. I mean, many low life-people have children and why couldn´t I be a parent? But I´m not feeling stable enough, I don´t even have a job and my mood is pending up and down all the time, I think that I would just be frustrated and angry if I were a parent. My mom was always irritated, I think I would be the same so... animals are great


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Booboo22
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14 Apr 2017, 9:30 am

I contemplate it sometimes but decided to accept I won't.
I will probably never find a partner that would put up with me. I have issues associated with having aspergers and mental health. I have physical difficulties that can impact quite a lot on my life. And I'm near completely infertile. It wouldn't be fair on the child.
Also morally bringing a child into a world that I think is going to the dogs.
I think I want to sometimes because I am struggling to make any life for myself. I thought if I could have a child, I could give everything I have to offer to my child. I can't seem to apply any of my potential to the world around me so I would want to share everything with my child and love them unconditionally. Not sure I have potential tial anymore so not sure what my future holds.



guineapiggirl23
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14 Apr 2017, 10:04 am

I've thought about this a lot, When I was sixteen I hated kids and refused to even think of having kids, but now that i'm in my twenties, I saw a lot of my friends get married and have kids and well, not sure about other Autistic women; I am starting to yearn for children. I'm considering adopting from foster care, I mean it won't be likely for a while, but I've always wanted a large family. I just need a guy who likes children and have a stable income.

I mean I totally get other Autism Spectrum/ Asperger people if you don't want kids, they're expensive and noisy, but I now love children just as I love animals very much, there is something about children that makes me feel younger, One other thing about having kids is celebrating Christmas thru them and Easter as well as other holidays. Don't get me wrong, I do love my pets but its a different kind of love, I would love to adopt 8 and have 2 biological children but my idealistic of a family could change within time and I could settle with 4-6 kids

There is also that chance I won't be able to have children, so absolutely I do want children it's just when the time is right and when I meet the right man.



renaeden
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14 Apr 2017, 11:06 pm

I decided when I was a kid that if I hadn't had kids by the time I was 30, I wouldn't have any at all. Now I'm 10 years over that so it's not going to happen.

Besides, I'm asexual so my relationships have always been without actual intercourse.



AngryAngryAngry
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17 Apr 2017, 7:57 am

I'd prefer a mild AS child like myself.
But also living remotely, so the child does not have to learn any of societies BS socialisation would be acceptable.



IKnowWhoIAmNow
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24 Apr 2017, 5:44 pm

Referring to the "cheated out of life by late diagnosis" thing, one of the most irritating things about trying to have something of a life with the time I have left is the number of women on dating websites who want children.

If I were 32 instead of 52 I almost certainly would want to start a family, but life has worn me down and no way could I take the stress and problems. So no. I could date a woman who already has kids, but not young ones and certainly not start family of my own.

Though I would keep 11 cats if I could :p


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886
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24 Apr 2017, 7:27 pm

I do. Some of my best memories growing up were camping with the family, learning to ski, and so on.. I'd love to re-create those with children of my own.

However, like anyone else, the thought of being a single parent is horrifying. So I get why we all say no.


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questor
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29 Apr 2017, 9:31 am

Ha! Ha! Ha! I beat you! Decades ago, when I was 8 years old, I was on my way home from school, and poking around the school yard, miserable from another day of torment from the other kids. It occurred to me then that I never, ever wanted my own kids, or a husband/boyfriend either. I am now in my late 50s, and have never changed my mind. I don't mind if others choose to marry and have kids, but I have never wanted to. Also, I realized decades ago that I'd make a terrible wife and mother, due to my Executive Function Disorder, and my social issues, so it's actually good that I never did marry or have kids. There are a lot of things in my life that bother me, but this has never been one of them. I am happy with the choice I made to never attempt a relationship or kids. Now, I am too old for it anyway, and more than a decade ago I had to have a complete hysterectomy due to cancer, so I no longer have the parts needed for the job. Don't miss the parts any more than I miss being a wife or mother. :D


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Mirka
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14 May 2017, 3:50 pm

When I was child I wanted to be married and have children (mostly because everyone told me that is what I should want).
After bad experience with people during the life I realized I am not probably capable of normal relationship (defined by NTs). I do not think it is a good solution to have children as a single parent (for the parent or the child), so I never went that way.
And now being already 38 asking myself if I miss children in my life, I have to admit that not at all (eventhough it makes me a wrong-woman little bit). My independency that I have achieved is very important for me and I do not want to loose it.
I probably would not be a good mother and therefore the Nature did me the way that I do not even want any children.



Kinomi
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16 May 2017, 12:23 pm

Absolutely not. I knew at 9 years old that I don't want to be a mother. To be blunt, it's not only that I don't want to be a mother, but I dislike kids. Many of them scream or make other unbearably loud sounds while they're young, and many of them touch you without warning. I think I would begin to short circuit quickly if I had to live with a child.



Noah_Antrim_Lottick
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17 May 2017, 5:37 am

It would be nice. But children are at the end of a long road - finding the right person to marry, having income and housing that would support children, having time to spend with them, learning to relate to them....

But since I just turned 51 years old, and I've never even been on a date with a woman, marriage won't happen. And since I had chemotherapy to fight off Hodgkin's Lymphoma back in 2004-2005, it would take a miracle to get a woman pregnant (I took a "special" kind of medical test. The kind where men take a Playboy magazine and um, "get excited". A week or two later I got the results and they weren't good).

In short, it would be cool to have one or more children. But my entire life would have to be different in order for this to happen. And it simply cannot happen at this point.


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DeadOperaStar
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19 May 2017, 8:22 pm

i think you summed up my reasons for not having kids very well.