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oddnumberedcat
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02 Aug 2017, 12:00 am

I like kids. I'm terrible at interacting with them, but I like them.

Realistically, though, I don't think I'd be a good parent. Primarily, I am very narrowly focused on the things I'm interested in at the exclusion of all else, and a kid would take away the time I have to dedicate to those things. I'm also quite introverted; I like people well enough and enjoy socializing if included, but my natural, most comfortable state is solitude. And, finally, from a logistical standpoint, I am not romantically or sexually inclined in any way whatsoever. Nothing against it, just have never been even vaguely interested, and, at this point at 25, I think the ship for that part of my brain turning on has long since sailed. That makes kids even more unfeasible, since being a single parent would be 1) ton of work and 2) horribly expensive.

So, yeah, no kids.



dragonsanddemons
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02 Aug 2017, 12:16 am

Nope, never have. I would make a terrible parent for many, many reasons, and I am repulsed by even the idea of... performing the act that creates children (of course, I'd also need a boyfriend/husband first... I don't know if even that is ever going to happen, not that I particularly mind if it doesn't). And I've just never really had the urge to have children in the first place.


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300series
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02 Aug 2017, 12:45 am

NO! I knew back when I was only 4 years old that I never wanted to have children or ever get married. I am now 32 years old & I still feel exactly the same way. I like my life the way it is right now. I do not want any of the responsibilities that parenting or marriage requires. My entire life would be an absolute nightmare.



The Cat Ghost
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02 Aug 2017, 5:56 pm

I never wanted kids. I was really sure of that. I chickened out on a referral appointment for "the snip" years back-level of not wanting kids. Then I found a NT lady I really love (who is 8 years younger than me, I'm 35, she is 27; and our maturity level matches really well) and we got married and had a kid. I don't know what made me change my mind but it just kinda felt right.

So yeah, fast forward to right now. My little guy is almost 11 months old and being a father is the greatest thing that has ever happened. Sure, it has thrown our life into a strange form of chaos, but there is something so amazing about a little person who is genuinely excited to see your face even if you just leave the room for a minute or two. Getting to know this little man has been my life's greatest privilege. Being able to spend time with a tiny person who looks a lot like me and genuinely enjoys my company has done an incalculable amount of good helping me build back up my self-confidence.

The way I see it, and I suppose the way it has turned out for me, my new "project/obsession" is my son and being a great father. It puts everything else I've ever obsessed about to shame.



BettaPonic
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02 Aug 2017, 6:15 pm

I have a history of mental illness and a family history too. I don't want to pass that down. I don't think I would be stable either.



Evil_Chuck
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19 Aug 2017, 1:49 am

I've known for a long time that I would probably never marry and definitely never have children. I have no desire, no curiosity, no money, and no partner. Having a kid is the most serious commitment a person can make, and commitment has never been one of my strengths. I like other people's kids in small doses (assuming they don't stink and know how to behave) but that's it.

Plus, there's a possibility that my ASD is genetic, and I really don't want anyone else to go through what I have. It's not like you can ask the child in advance whether they're okay with it. :?


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19 Aug 2017, 6:26 am

As a child, I was disgusted by babies. Even in my pre-teens and going through puberty, I always had a very strong aversion to babies and toddlers. Six year olds were tolerable, in theory, but I always became overwhelmed by them in person. I always had a very odd dislike for kids. I used to plan on getting a hysterectomy just to ensure that I could never get pregnant, even if I weren't sexually active, just in case I were impregnated upon being raped. I always told my mother I'd never want kids, but she always said I'd change my mind as I got older.
She was sort of right. She was never right about much, as off the hinges as she is, but she was sort of right about that. Sort of. I still don't actively desire children, and my decreasing aversion to children isn't simply due to ageing, really, but rather, the fact that I'm in love. I see children and I find myself daydreaming about packing lunches at 6 AM as my love helps our offspring get dressed and brush their teeth. It's a very idealized and romanticized view on parenthood, of course. I used to be disgusted by the mere idea of kids existing, so this is an extreme change. I actually find myself finding kids cute, now.
I also once had a very horrible fear of pregnancy. The idea of having something living inside of me, growing and developing with time into something that will one day be my size. I feared I'd go insane while pregnant and somehow hurt myself as I'm pregnant, I feared I'd be vomiting all the time (I had a very extreme fear of vomit for over 10 years), I feared I'd suffer from post-partum psychosis, or worsened depression. It should be noted that all these fears are quite irrational, and I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I no longer fear all these things I once did about pregnancy and parenthood. I still fear I'd somehow ruin my child forever, permanently scar them and ruin their self-esteem and ability to function, like my mother did to me, but I suppose every parent would fear that--or, at least, they should, honestly.

I would never actively seek out children if I were single, or if my partner didn't want any. If my partner didn't want any kids, ever, I'd really have no desire for children, either. I'm not a mindless drone, or anything, following my partner's every wish--I just wouldn't ever want kids when the person I love the most wouldn't want them because raising kids is a team-effort while in a relationship. Any desire for children would be killed if I learned my partner did not ever want kids. I wouldn't force it away, it would just cease to exist. I don't really even 'want' kids, I just can see the pros of having children at this point.


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Ichinin
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19 Aug 2017, 7:33 am

Do i want small things screaming in my sensitive ears, crying for the smallest of reasons?


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Nuthatchnut
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19 Aug 2017, 8:25 am

I've started over and rewritten this post a number of times. Do I like children? Yes (unless they travel in packs). Do I think I would make a good parent? Well, the instinct is there.

However, reality is that I am not even capable of taking care of myself consistently. There was a time that I thought that this slippery grip on my own life was a temporary thing that I would eventually outgrow. I know now that it is not some form of transient immaturity. This is who I am. These are my limitations.

So what about that parental instinct? In the end I think that it is what's keeping me from having children. I feel too protective of my would be children to have them in the first place. Does that even make sense?


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Darmok
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19 Aug 2017, 5:19 pm

Yes I do. Still haven't solved the first-you-need-to-get-a-wife problem, though. :mrgreen:


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MamaFrankie5259
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03 Sep 2017, 7:14 pm

No, I flippin' well don't! I decided at the age of 8 I wasn't going to become a mother. Here's why:

I am asexual.
I have an extremely low pain threshold so childbirth would finish me.
I am not psychologically equipped to be a mother. My reaction to a screaming/crying brat would be to fling it through the nearest window.
I hate children. And I mean hate, not just dislike.


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hobojungle
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28 Sep 2017, 5:49 pm

Not only no, but oh hell no. Kids are great, but I can't even take care of myself. Sometimes I think having cats is too much work. I love them though.



fiber bundle
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16 Oct 2017, 12:59 pm

Yes.



lostonearth35
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16 Oct 2017, 1:10 pm

NO.



livingwithautism
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16 Oct 2017, 1:22 pm

I've never considered having children. I'm not interested and I don't like children.