does anyone else with a.s. feel that life has been a waste?

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Oh yeah. My life has been a massive waste. No question about it.

I have often massively regretted being born. My mother absolutely should have aborted me. It would have been the best thing for her, my father, my sister, my grandparents, everyone involved.

That goes without saying.

Why must you take it to such extremes?

How does “not being socially proficient” lead to you feeling like you shouldn’t have been born?

What is so terrible in being “nerdy”?

What harm do you do others merely by not getting all the social nuances?

Its awkward situation . Durned if you do in a bad health type way,,and durned if you dont cause of stress .. kinda like a bad circle. But the physical after effects . Are sooo aweful feeling . Dont think aspies body tolerate toxins well.

Guess my lack of understanding , saved me . But did have some bright moments in life. Seems if someone saw . Me enjoying myself . Or remotely successful at anything . It was their mission in life to take it away from .
Except a few years with my husband , and he was understanding , but when people saw that we had something , they kilked him . Let the killers go afterwards . Understand euthanizing myself . Even told therapist so. But just cannot do it. Even though along the way got diagnosed with chronic illness besides having asd. Inbetween try to smile , the world likes that.

This is not "extreme."

This is common sense. You'd want your child to have no social life? No real friends, no SO, bad relationships with family?

He will be at the bottom of the pecking order in high school. He'll be bullied, isolated and lonely. Kids will snitch on him to the teacher to make trouble for him. They'll be rude to him and ignore him. Play nasty tricks on him. He will never get invited to parties. He'll be humiliated and rejected a lot in life. He will assume people like him and not realize that they are just being polite to him.

If he does find a woman, she'll be either a con artist or completely mentally ill or autistic herself- or all three at once!!

Short answer: yes.

A combination of autism and hating oneself will result in that nightmare "life". Take the self hate out (not easy to do, understood) and MAYBE not, or at least not a total nightmare.

It's extreme.

I am autistic---and was severely autistic as a young child. I mean the non-talking, stimming type of autistic who was destructive. Autistic enough to be diagnosed with autism in 1964-1965. That wasn't very easy to "accomplish."

I was on the "bottom end of the pecking order" in high school in a school for misfits----but, by senior year, I gained a measure of respect for being a poet. I had to work hard at it. Especially after writing a stupid story that got me bullied for three years.

I have been gainfully employed since getting out of high school. I'm going to retire with a pension in three years.

It would be absolutely ridiculous if anybody said they wanted to abort me because I'm autistic. This "abortion for autism" thing is GARBAGE.

People like me. And people like the vast majority of people on WP. Some of the folks here don't know that they are liked as much as they are liked.

Common Sense??????

I say....WTF????????

And I am detached when I say this. Not angry.

Why be angry at a bunch of nonsense?

What would have happened if Isaac Newton was aborted? How about Albert Einstein?

Kraftie if society adjusts more it would certainly ease life for the asd kids growing up now. I applaud your resilience as I hadn't read of this from you before. I knew you were non verbal for a time.
I am not sure how you manage to work and be married etc and remain pleasant and not go crazy.the slightest change in routine messes me up for days to come and I guess despite the severity your IQ and emotional resilience is good.
I know my severe ASD kid doesnt get as freaked out emotionally as me or his less severe brother do. We sob or get overcome with negative emotion over everything. Meanwhile he just glides like the king that he is.
Feeds into the article Temple grandin had written of how severe ASDers from brai. Scans seem more emotionally capable while less severe ASD (according to the grading scale we havein place currently) have a smaller less developed amygdala than that of the severe ASDers!

I know it's not easy for ASD kids----but, still....to deny them the opportunity to attain any happiness at all is atrocious.

I feel like society is beginning to "adjust more," to be honest.

in terms of "adjusted," depends on where one happens to live.

No doubt. I don't disagree with what you said. Some areas are definitely more "tolerant" than others.

Blooie......I understand how you feel. Watching a seizure is something which is dreadful.

But, I am sure that you also have fun with your kids, too. They do things that make you laugh, and make themselves laugh.

Let me tell you something: they don't want you to "go." They need their smart and perceptive mommy.

i agree: for the younger kids now, it's improving (steadily, but a long way to go of course)

As for 'where' - huge factor, place and people, for some things
(e.g. as Marknis has often griped about,
the behaviour or moral code of people like his elder brother,
affecting him badly--while others have a sort of coating that allows them to observe but not affected inwardly to the point of distress).

I don't think the environment and one's own efforts, can improve on one's mental capacity by much.

one of my dad's reasons for moving us constantly, was because he thought that, for me, it was the place that was wrong (reality: it was me that couldn't deal).

He compared what he saw of me younger-cheerful and fine at home (he had nothing to compare any quirks to, accepted as is).

He saw me as reacting adversely to environment, but changing the environment did not change my sensitivities. I continued the same pattern of seeming ok for a bit--not on the inside which was confused and overwhelmed--then totally crumbling and failing . Thus needing to be coached/screamed at/put into different environments with parents' explanations and help constantly.

Without family around, I was floundering and my brain was scattered with nobody helping me collect my thoughts. Same case still

As you age, your brain can grow along the same trajectory as other kids, or entirely different, which automatically isolates you regardless of how nice and fine people are.

You self-isolate, in fact, or you don't even know why, you just know you cannot keep up (not just socially).

Stim + retreat in activities that are a shield against the world as well as giving satisfaction (no matter how odd they seem to NTs).


People may respond to that 'slowness' and fragility/weakness with understanding/affection, or not (the not, resulting in bad experiences/trauma that compounds the distress).

They may not detect it if you have a good way of seeming aloof but calm.

Either way-- you yourself are frustrated as you just cannot get by without serious help.

So you sort of tune out (if lucky) or keep to yourself, drifting in once in a while (socially), sort of like 'loony' Luna Lovegood. Either keep falling further down or have people around who help you up just enough that you have some protection.

I don't think environment can change that propensity to collapse/crash and burn.
Nor do I know whether this can apply to others here.

Honestly, I feel like a nice, scenic environment can really "change" a person at times.

I really wasn't too affected by the "niceness" of my environment when I was growing up, though, it must be said.

When I retire, I'm probably going to move to a place much more rural than where I am now.