kraftiekortie wrote:
I know it's not easy for ASD kids----but, still....to deny them the opportunity to attain any happiness at all is atrocious.
I feel like society is beginning to "adjust more," to be honest.
i agree: for the younger kids now, it's improving (steadily, but a long way to go of course)
As for 'where' - huge factor, place and people, for some things
(e.g. as Marknis has often griped about,
the behaviour or moral code of people like his elder brother,
affecting him badly--while others have a sort of coating that allows them to observe but not affected inwardly to the point of distress).
I don't think the environment and one's own efforts, can improve on one's mental capacity by much.
one of my dad's reasons for moving us constantly, was because he thought that, for me, it was the place that was wrong (reality: it was me that couldn't deal).
He compared what he saw of me younger-cheerful and fine at home (he had nothing to compare any quirks to, accepted as is).
He saw
me as reacting adversely to environment,
but changing the environment did not change my sensitivities. I continued the same pattern of seeming ok for a bit--not on the inside which was confused and overwhelmed--then totally crumbling and failing . Thus needing to be coached/screamed at/put into different environments with parents' explanations and help constantly.
Without family around, I was floundering and my brain was scattered with nobody helping me collect my thoughts. Same case still
As you age, your brain can grow along the same trajectory as other kids, or entirely different, which automatically isolates you regardless of how nice and fine people are.
You self-isolate, in fact, or you don't even know why, you just know you cannot keep up (not just socially).
Stim + retreat in activities that are a shield against the world as well as giving satisfaction (no matter how odd they seem to NTs).
People may respond to that 'slowness' and fragility/weakness with understanding/affection, or not (the not, resulting in bad experiences/trauma that compounds the distress).
They may not detect it if you have a good way of seeming aloof but calm.
Either way-- you yourself are frustrated as you just cannot get by without serious help.
So you sort of tune out (if lucky) or keep to yourself, drifting in once in a while (socially), sort of like 'loony' Luna Lovegood. Either keep falling further down or have people around who help you up just enough that you have some protection.
I don't think
environment can change that propensity to collapse/crash and burn.
Nor do I know whether this can apply to others here.
_________________
Take defeat as an urge to greater effort.
-Napoleon Hill