does anyone else with a.s. feel that life has been a waste?

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blooiejagwa
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29 Nov 2019, 11:54 am

This seems a good step to prevent the younger ASd not have to end up feeling this way, hopefully
If implemented widely, such simple adjustments would likely prevent suicides in the long run



kraftiekortie
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29 Nov 2019, 4:47 pm

My life has been partially a "waste."

But other facets of my life have been fulfilling.



DorkyNerd
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30 Nov 2019, 9:36 pm

Oh yeah. My life has been a massive waste. No question about it.

I have often massively regretted being born. My mother absolutely should have aborted me. It would have been the best thing for her, my father, my sister, my grandparents, everyone involved.

That goes without saying.



auntblabby
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30 Nov 2019, 10:18 pm

:(



kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2019, 10:51 pm

Why must you take it to such extremes?

How does “not being socially proficient” lead to you feeling like you shouldn’t have been born?

What is so terrible in being “nerdy”?

What harm do you do others merely by not getting all the social nuances?



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01 Dec 2019, 10:56 am

auntblabby wrote:
i wish my body would let me get blotto :hic: :drunken: :colors:

Its awkward situation . Durned if you do in a bad health type way,,and durned if you dont cause of stress .. kinda like a bad circle. But the physical after effects . Are sooo aweful feeling . Dont think aspies body tolerate toxins well.


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Jakki
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01 Dec 2019, 11:06 am

shoshanna.f wrote:
I am 51 years old . I spent the first 41 years of my life not knowing what this was. I never made any friends. I hardly drive, I have never had a decent job due to the fear of people/groups and the sensory integration (not being able to recognize where I am, driving on the wrong side of the road and many other weird things). My sensory problems are severe (my occupational therapist said. I was so messed up I didn't know truth from fiction. Having this condition,without a diagnosis is scary.
Looking back, my life has been a long series of mistakes and failures. I didn't (or couldn't) graduate. I really wanted to go to college but couldn't. I am not married any longer. I never felt connected to my ex husband at all, like he was a stranger. I don't feel connected to the dog. I won't touch him. I don't like to be touched. Here's a bad one: I don't even feel connected to my kids at times. I can't hug them or tell them that I love them as they get older. when my mom and dad divorced and my dad moved out, I didn't feel comfortable around him anymore as he wasn't a live in family member. I didn't see him for 24 consecutive years at one point. This condition feels like a moral deficiency. I feel like a bad person.I feel very guilty for the way that I am.
When I walk around the lake that I go to and see normal, successful people, especially ones my age I feel like my like was a waste. I feel like I missed out on so many things and gave so little to my loved ones. I hate being this way.

Guess my lack of understanding , saved me . But did have some bright moments in life. Seems if someone saw . Me enjoying myself . Or remotely successful at anything . It was their mission in life to take it away from .
Except a few years with my husband , and he was understanding , but when people saw that we had something , they kilked him . Let the killers go afterwards . Understand euthanizing myself . Even told therapist so. But just cannot do it. Even though along the way got diagnosed with chronic illness besides having asd. Inbetween try to smile , the world likes that.


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DorkyNerd
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02 Dec 2019, 11:54 am

This is not "extreme."

This is common sense. You'd want your child to have no social life? No real friends, no SO, bad relationships with family?

He will be at the bottom of the pecking order in high school. He'll be bullied, isolated and lonely. Kids will snitch on him to the teacher to make trouble for him. They'll be rude to him and ignore him. Play nasty tricks on him. He will never get invited to parties. He'll be humiliated and rejected a lot in life. He will assume people like him and not realize that they are just being polite to him.

If he does find a woman, she'll be either a con artist or completely mentally ill or autistic herself- or all three at once!!



MagicKnight
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02 Dec 2019, 12:07 pm

Short answer: yes.



ASPartOfMe
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02 Dec 2019, 6:45 pm

DorkyNerd wrote:
This is not "extreme."

This is common sense. You'd want your child to have no social life? No real friends, no SO, bad relationships with family?

He will be at the bottom of the pecking order in high school. He'll be bullied, isolated and lonely. Kids will snitch on him to the teacher to make trouble for him. They'll be rude to him and ignore him. Play nasty tricks on him. He will never get invited to parties. He'll be humiliated and rejected a lot in life. He will assume people like him and not realize that they are just being polite to him.

If he does find a woman, she'll be either a con artist or completely mentally ill or autistic herself- or all three at once!!

A combination of autism and hating oneself will result in that nightmare "life". Take the self hate out (not easy to do, understood) and MAYBE not, or at least not a total nightmare.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2019, 7:56 pm

It's extreme.

I am autistic---and was severely autistic as a young child. I mean the non-talking, stimming type of autistic who was destructive. Autistic enough to be diagnosed with autism in 1964-1965. That wasn't very easy to "accomplish."

I was on the "bottom end of the pecking order" in high school in a school for misfits----but, by senior year, I gained a measure of respect for being a poet. I had to work hard at it. Especially after writing a stupid story that got me bullied for three years.

I have been gainfully employed since getting out of high school. I'm going to retire with a pension in three years.

It would be absolutely ridiculous if anybody said they wanted to abort me because I'm autistic. This "abortion for autism" thing is GARBAGE.

People like me. And people like the vast majority of people on WP. Some of the folks here don't know that they are liked as much as they are liked.



kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2019, 8:11 pm

Common Sense??????

I say....WTF????????

And I am detached when I say this. Not angry.

Why be angry at a bunch of nonsense?

What would have happened if Isaac Newton was aborted? How about Albert Einstein?



blooiejagwa
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02 Dec 2019, 9:12 pm

Kraftie if society adjusts more it would certainly ease life for the asd kids growing up now. I applaud your resilience as I hadn't read of this from you before. I knew you were non verbal for a time.
I am not sure how you manage to work and be married etc and remain pleasant and not go crazy.the slightest change in routine messes me up for days to come and I guess despite the severity your IQ and emotional resilience is good.
I know my severe ASD kid doesnt get as freaked out emotionally as me or his less severe brother do. We sob or get overcome with negative emotion over everything. Meanwhile he just glides like the king that he is.
Feeds into the article Temple grandin had written of how severe ASDers from brai. Scans seem more emotionally capable while less severe ASD (according to the grading scale we havein place currently) have a smaller less developed amygdala than that of the severe ASDers!



kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2019, 9:21 pm

I know it's not easy for ASD kids----but, still....to deny them the opportunity to attain any happiness at all is atrocious.

I feel like society is beginning to "adjust more," to be honest.



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02 Dec 2019, 9:22 pm

in terms of "adjusted," depends on where one happens to live.