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Marknis
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14 Aug 2019, 9:33 am

Amity wrote:
Amity wrote:
I grew up too early, no choice, didn't have a safe environment.
If anyone taught me the basics for adulthood I dont remember it happening.
Growing up earlier doesn't mean that I was ready for adult life, bizarrely I was sheltered from the real world with a strict catholic upbringing.
Comparative to my own age group in general, I'm not at their level of competence, but when I look at my autistic peers I am just normal :) .

Dear o dear, I'll have to guess that mine was rude and condescending too, as the sentiment was similar?

My reply was genuine as are the others due to the tone of this sub forum, but it seems that the purpose of the thread is to belittle the unliked responses, and have zero respect or time for the content of every other post... am I next to be targeted? What if I say something that you dont like Marknis?


I was only directing my message to Fnord and I wasn’t allowed to post for 30 days.



CockneyRebel
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14 Aug 2019, 10:18 am

martianprincess wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I was "kicked out" of my parents' house at the age of 18, started college a week later, and have been "adulting" ever since. It took me a long time to mature, but now I'm ready to retire, and my kids and my grandkids are all doing very well.

I can't ask for more than that.


:D


Extremely rude and condescending like you always are.


Can I ask how this comment was rude and condescending? I'm not saying it was or wasn't, I'm confused.


I also don't see anything wrong with that comment, either. Fnord came of age in a different time. That's an important thing to keep in mind.


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madbutnotmad
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14 Aug 2019, 10:37 am

Going back to the original thread.
I would say that as an adult aspie, that i am kind of a hybrid child-adult.

Yes, there are few things i like to do from the label of adult things, such as having sex with consenting adult human partners, buying and drinking as much alcohol as i want even to the extent that i am sick, and watching legal adult content in films, console games and the internet.

However, in terms of the rest of life, i am to the greater extent a child, and the other things i like to do in life are similar in behaviour to how many kids on their own do things. I.E. drawing, making music, reading, mischief.
And to the greater extent, i can do these for the most part on my own without others.

As for when it comes to keeping up the social norms or competing in the rat race.
I have to admit, i don't care much for the competitor consumerist focus.
Personally i think that a great deal of societies accepted social norms are very much like
the old story of "the emperors new clothes".

With the kid being an Aspie and the only one who can see what a load of tosh the social norms that are pushed on the people of the world are.

I know that being like this does endanger us aspies of making ourselves appear very rude in civilised society.
And again, how we are treated is often dependent on how people perceive us rather than what we have objectively done, or even the motivation behind our actions.

Perhaps that is part of the spiritual path. Buddhism, would argue you that it is.
Atheists, Satanists, communists would all say that Buddhism is a load of tosh.

I guess we all must go with what feels right for us, and how we like to be treated.
Personally, i like people to treat me with compassion and understanding, and not with discrimination and sadism.
But that's just me, we are all different.



funeralxempire
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14 Aug 2019, 11:22 am

Marknis wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I was "kicked out" of my parents' house at the age of 18, started college a week later, and have been "adulting" ever since. It took me a long time to mature, but now I'm ready to retire, and my kids and my grandkids are all doing very well.

I can't ask for more than that.


:D


Extremely rude and condescending like you always are.


Can I ask how this comment was rude and condescending? I'm not saying it was or wasn't, I'm confused.


He’s always boasting to me about his victories and he has also expressed contempt for me as well as has tried to get me banned.


You seem to treat any instance where someone states they've struggled with the same issues as you and overcame them as 'boasting'. If that's how you feel, get used to hearing a lot of people boast because most people have no choice but to overcome what life throws at them.

Life can be difficult and I don't doubt that you have some shitty cards in your hand, but adopting a toxic attitude to everyone around you is a voluntary choice and one that will make your life harder than it needs to be until you choose to adopt a less toxic attitude. Good luck with that.


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Amity
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14 Aug 2019, 11:32 am

Marknis wrote:
Amity wrote:
Amity wrote:
I grew up too early, no choice, didn't have a safe environment.
If anyone taught me the basics for adulthood I dont remember it happening.
Growing up earlier doesn't mean that I was ready for adult life, bizarrely I was sheltered from the real world with a strict catholic upbringing.
Comparative to my own age group in general, I'm not at their level of competence, but when I look at my autistic peers I am just normal :) .

Dear o dear, I'll have to guess that mine was rude and condescending too, as the sentiment was similar?

My reply was genuine as are the others due to the tone of this sub forum, but it seems that the purpose of the thread is to belittle the unliked responses, and have zero respect or time for the content of every other post... am I next to be targeted? What if I say something that you dont like Marknis?


I was only directing my message to Fnord and I wasn’t allowed to post for 30 days.


So the purpose of this thread was to bait responses you dont like?

Why weren't you allowed to post?



Prometheus18
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14 Aug 2019, 12:27 pm

Frankly, I don't understand it when people complain that their Asperger's makes it extra difficult to do things like shave, wash, pay bills and prepare meals (for example). Maybe it's true of those with low functioning autism, but I don't understand how Asperger's can cause those problems. Then again, I've noticed that even neurotypical men and women (more men though, interestingly) of my generation complain that these things are "too stressful". I actually know someone about my age who has his dad drive him to a social club we go to, and I've heard of people of average or above average intelligence in their twenties who still have their parents do their laundry for them. Women aren't nearly as bad, and are quite admirably independent. My point is that the problem seems generational, rather than having anything to do with psychology. Fnord's generation was forced to fend for itself, and so learned these things, but my generation was never told that it had to grow up.

I suppose I risk being called "judgemental" here, but the way I see it, NOT telling children and adolescents that they have to learn to become independent is what harms them.



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14 Aug 2019, 12:36 pm

I think there could be some truth in the "generational" theory. I was out of the door at the age of 18. But... I don't think anyone should blame Marknis, if this is the case... or Fnord for pointing it out.
Things do change from generation to generation, you play the hand you're dealt.


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red_doghubb
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14 Aug 2019, 12:45 pm

Trueno wrote:
I think there could be some truth in the "generational" theory. I was out of the door at the age of 18. But... I don't think anyone should blame Marknis, if this is the case... or Fnord for pointing it out.
Things do change from generation to generation, you play the hand you're dealt.


I lean toward this theory. My mother kicked me out when I was 18, just before I was to go to college. I had to live with a friend, then some relatives, then find housing and employment during school breaks until I graduated. It was seriously rough juggling school, working full time, and adapting to the chaos of a large university community, but I made it, and frankly wouldn't change how it all played out if I could.



Marknis
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14 Aug 2019, 1:25 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I was "kicked out" of my parents' house at the age of 18, started college a week later, and have been "adulting" ever since. It took me a long time to mature, but now I'm ready to retire, and my kids and my grandkids are all doing very well.

I can't ask for more than that.


:D


Extremely rude and condescending like you always are.


Can I ask how this comment was rude and condescending? I'm not saying it was or wasn't, I'm confused.


He’s always boasting to me about his victories and he has also expressed contempt for me as well as has tried to get me banned.


You seem to treat any instance where someone states they've struggled with the same issues as you and overcame them as 'boasting'. If that's how you feel, get used to hearing a lot of people boast because most people have no choice but to overcome what life throws at them.

Life can be difficult and I don't doubt that you have some shitty cards in your hand, but adopting a toxic attitude to everyone around you is a voluntary choice and one that will make your life harder than it needs to be until you choose to adopt a less toxic attitude. Good luck with that.


So it’s ok for everyone else to stay the same but I have to change? It’s like I am being told I am “messed up” and need to shut myself away while everyone else can keep doing what they want.



Marknis
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14 Aug 2019, 1:26 pm

Amity wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Amity wrote:
Amity wrote:
I grew up too early, no choice, didn't have a safe environment.
If anyone taught me the basics for adulthood I dont remember it happening.
Growing up earlier doesn't mean that I was ready for adult life, bizarrely I was sheltered from the real world with a strict catholic upbringing.
Comparative to my own age group in general, I'm not at their level of competence, but when I look at my autistic peers I am just normal :) .

Dear o dear, I'll have to guess that mine was rude and condescending too, as the sentiment was similar?

My reply was genuine as are the others due to the tone of this sub forum, but it seems that the purpose of the thread is to belittle the unliked responses, and have zero respect or time for the content of every other post... am I next to be targeted? What if I say something that you dont like Marknis?


I was only directing my message to Fnord and I wasn’t allowed to post for 30 days.


So the purpose of this thread was to bait responses you dont like?

Why weren't you allowed to post?


No. I don’t intend anything for Fnord.

Most of the mods hate me and want me gone.



Marknis
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14 Aug 2019, 1:33 pm

Trueno wrote:
I think there could be some truth in the "generational" theory. I was out of the door at the age of 18. But... I don't think anyone should blame Marknis, if this is the case... or Fnord for pointing it out.
Things do change from generation to generation, you play the hand you're dealt.


I respect you because you don’t expect me to be a certain way and don’t shame or punish me for it.



funeralxempire
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14 Aug 2019, 8:00 pm

Marknis wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I was "kicked out" of my parents' house at the age of 18, started college a week later, and have been "adulting" ever since. It took me a long time to mature, but now I'm ready to retire, and my kids and my grandkids are all doing very well.

I can't ask for more than that.


:D


Extremely rude and condescending like you always are.


Can I ask how this comment was rude and condescending? I'm not saying it was or wasn't, I'm confused.


He’s always boasting to me about his victories and he has also expressed contempt for me as well as has tried to get me banned.


You seem to treat any instance where someone states they've struggled with the same issues as you and overcame them as 'boasting'. If that's how you feel, get used to hearing a lot of people boast because most people have no choice but to overcome what life throws at them.

Life can be difficult and I don't doubt that you have some shitty cards in your hand, but adopting a toxic attitude to everyone around you is a voluntary choice and one that will make your life harder than it needs to be until you choose to adopt a less toxic attitude. Good luck with that.


So it’s ok for everyone else to stay the same but I have to change? It’s like I am being told I am “messed up” and need to shut myself away while everyone else can keep doing what they want.


If you'd like to improve these issues, yes you will need to change. Otherwise you will continue to experience them. If you're fine with everything remaining the same you don't need to change. It's entirely driven by what you'd like out of life.

Getting hostile to everyone who tells you they can be overcome because they've overcome them certainly won't improve things and will just result in driving off anyone who might have ever given a s**t or been willing to offer empathy or suggestions.

I think you over-estimate how much the mods think of you. Why would they make a huge emotional investment in someone who rarely posts when they have their own lives beyond here?


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Marknis
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15 Aug 2019, 1:33 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I was "kicked out" of my parents' house at the age of 18, started college a week later, and have been "adulting" ever since. It took me a long time to mature, but now I'm ready to retire, and my kids and my grandkids are all doing very well.

I can't ask for more than that.


:D


Extremely rude and condescending like you always are.


Can I ask how this comment was rude and condescending? I'm not saying it was or wasn't, I'm confused.


He’s always boasting to me about his victories and he has also expressed contempt for me as well as has tried to get me banned.


You seem to treat any instance where someone states they've struggled with the same issues as you and overcame them as 'boasting'. If that's how you feel, get used to hearing a lot of people boast because most people have no choice but to overcome what life throws at them.

Life can be difficult and I don't doubt that you have some shitty cards in your hand, but adopting a toxic attitude to everyone around you is a voluntary choice and one that will make your life harder than it needs to be until you choose to adopt a less toxic attitude. Good luck with that.


So it’s ok for everyone else to stay the same but I have to change? It’s like I am being told I am “messed up” and need to shut myself away while everyone else can keep doing what they want.


If you'd like to improve these issues, yes you will need to change. Otherwise you will continue to experience them. If you're fine with everything remaining the same you don't need to change. It's entirely driven by what you'd like out of life.

Getting hostile to everyone who tells you they can be overcome because they've overcome them certainly won't improve things and will just result in driving off anyone who might have ever given a s**t or been willing to offer empathy or suggestions.

I think you over-estimate how much the mods think of you. Why would they make a huge emotional investment in someone who rarely posts when they have their own lives beyond here?


I just want to live my life according to my values. Not yours, only mine.



DanielW
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15 Aug 2019, 1:39 pm

No one is ever ready to become an adult. They just do by default.



funeralxempire
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15 Aug 2019, 7:37 pm

Marknis wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Marknis wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I was "kicked out" of my parents' house at the age of 18, started college a week later, and have been "adulting" ever since. It took me a long time to mature, but now I'm ready to retire, and my kids and my grandkids are all doing very well.

I can't ask for more than that.


:D


Extremely rude and condescending like you always are.


Can I ask how this comment was rude and condescending? I'm not saying it was or wasn't, I'm confused.


He’s always boasting to me about his victories and he has also expressed contempt for me as well as has tried to get me banned.


You seem to treat any instance where someone states they've struggled with the same issues as you and overcame them as 'boasting'. If that's how you feel, get used to hearing a lot of people boast because most people have no choice but to overcome what life throws at them.

Life can be difficult and I don't doubt that you have some shitty cards in your hand, but adopting a toxic attitude to everyone around you is a voluntary choice and one that will make your life harder than it needs to be until you choose to adopt a less toxic attitude. Good luck with that.


So it’s ok for everyone else to stay the same but I have to change? It’s like I am being told I am “messed up” and need to shut myself away while everyone else can keep doing what they want.


If you'd like to improve these issues, yes you will need to change. Otherwise you will continue to experience them. If you're fine with everything remaining the same you don't need to change. It's entirely driven by what you'd like out of life.

Getting hostile to everyone who tells you they can be overcome because they've overcome them certainly won't improve things and will just result in driving off anyone who might have ever given a s**t or been willing to offer empathy or suggestions.

I think you over-estimate how much the mods think of you. Why would they make a huge emotional investment in someone who rarely posts when they have their own lives beyond here?


I just want to live my life according to my values. Not yours, only mine.


Reality will impose itself, no matter what your values are. I'm not discussing values, mine or yours. I'm explaining an unpleasant truth about life you have no option but to reconcile yourself to because failure to accept it will only result in the same outcomes. Who would want to form bonds with someone who treats their every action as hostile?


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