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shortfatbalduglyman
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10 Feb 2024, 11:05 pm

How do you feel about being single for the rest of your life and having no children? Or are you married with children?



IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 1:32 am

I'm single with children. Have been for nearly 30 years.


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blitzkrieg
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11 Feb 2024, 9:16 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm single with children. Have been for nearly 30 years.


Didn't you say you were tying the knot only a few weeks ago?

In response to the thread opener, I think that there will be a lot of autistic people who are single for life, of varying levels of functioning.



IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 10:47 am

Yes and until it's tied, I'm legally single.
I've raised my kids alone for nearly 30 years.


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babybird
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11 Feb 2024, 10:50 am

We must have a different interpretation of what single is


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Harmonie
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11 Feb 2024, 10:55 am

I am 35. It is becoming rougher every year for me. Catching 'baby fever' can happen so easily for me now. I also can definitely tell my brain is like "You're getting older, you need to have babies!" lol. Ugh.

I'm pretty depressed about being single, too. Although one side of me (perhaps, potentially my autistic side) is not only content but worried about the prospect of being with someone as I need a lot of alone time and having someone coming into my life during those times I have always had to myself could be distressing and thus could cause issues both for me mental health and the relationship. This is a similar concern with having children. But like with a relationship, not even my bed would be safe. I need to sleep alone with only the company of my dog.

Nevertheless, I am also simultaneously unhappy being single and I don't know what to make of it. So many contradictions. :huh:

I think I may have finally parsed out why it is that everyone I fall for are introverts, and in fact I think that the last person I fell hard for was autistic herself. I feel like maybe someone who could understand needing alone time and space would work out better.

Problem is... I am also ADHD. I can actually get very clingy. I can talk to people I love (romantically or platonically) a lot and I think that actually drives introverts and purely autistic people up a wall.

I'm such a weirdo. How will I ever find love? Lol.


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 10:58 am

babybird wrote:
We must have a different interpretation of what single is



Well, there's only three choices: Married, Single, or Divorced.

I'm Divorced but I don't like to identify via my ex.

I'm in a longterm relationship but that doesn't make me married yet.


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babybird
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11 Feb 2024, 11:02 am

To me being single is being completely on my own. Not being in any kind of romantic relationship

I wouldn't describe myself as being single even though I don't live with my bf.

But anyway that's off topic. Apologies OP


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 11:08 am

Having spent the better part of 30 years in family court and doing my own taxes, I'm used to "single" being a legal term meaning unmarried and self-supporting.

For one thing, a person needs to be "single" to get married, even if they are in a relationship with their future spouse.

OP's question is related to how people manage their finance whether alone or with a husband and kids. I raised my kids alone since 1997 without a husband, and even now my partner doesn't support them or raise them, or pay any of my bills. I'm self-sufficient.


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 11:12 am

Do you consider yourself married?
I didn't think you lived with your partner either.
Does he raise and support your daughter?


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babybird
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11 Feb 2024, 11:17 am

Oh a single parent..sorry op I misunderstood your question.


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 11:23 am

On a dating site, "single" means a person isn't in a committed relationship.

This isn't a dating site, so I use it to mean unmarried.


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babybird
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11 Feb 2024, 11:26 am

I wouldn't know about dating sites.


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 11:28 am

babybird wrote:
Oh a single parent..sorry op I misunderstood your question.


Even if I didn't have kids, I'd call myself single until I get married.

Unless of course this were a dating site or some dude wanted to date me.


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babybird
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11 Feb 2024, 11:30 am

Ok


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Feb 2024, 11:32 am

Thanks for your concern though.


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