Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

asidd
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 Oct 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

09 Oct 2023, 9:00 am

Hi everyone,



I have always had this feeling that the way I process things and go on about it is different. I have been married for the past 4 years and this feeling has only gotten stronger.



1. I have always been easily distracted by my surrounding: I used to be more concerned that someone couldn’t find a pen during my exam than my own exam.



2. I am always intimidated by strong personalities: I have many strong personalities in my life and they always want something specific emotionally/physically and when I fail to provide those they get very angry and I feel intimidated by them. This is making me very frustrated and angry inside. No courage to speak out.



3. I feel like no one understands me or my feelings, and I can’t be expressive about them. When I convey that it is hard for me to change this behavior or achieve something, no one understands and blame that i am not willing to achieve this. My wife wants me to be expressive and i really want to be that but I just can’t do it.



4. I have this impulsive desire to do something even though it is absolutely unimportant: I sometimes enter kitchen and see some dirty dishes, although I went there to maybe get some fruit for my son, i would have this desire to wash the dishes although my wife takes care of all the house chores and all I wanted was to just help a bit, it was not important at that time. I just can’t keep my focus on the matter at hand. It happens at work as well.



5. I have this desire that if my wife for eg. is angry at me, that I have to ke everything ok in that very moment. I don’t or can’t give her time to calm down and then approach her. I am very bad at dealing with angry person.



6. At the end of the day I am so tired fighting and struggling with all these things that I just feel like crying: Trying to focus at work, trying to make the people who I really care about happy, making sure I don’t say anything that hurts their feelings makes me very tired. I can’t be energetic and involved in the evening.


I am really new at this. Not with the situations but I recently could name these problems and realised that I have always been autistic. What do you guys think of my above mentioned issues? By the way I am 31 years old.

Thanks and regards!



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

09 Oct 2023, 10:47 am

Hi!
One of the things that my semi-diagnosis gave me were words to describe my feelings. Not the regular emotions but things like sensory overload.
Do you have some space only for yourself, where you feel happy the way you are?


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,787
Location: United Kingdom

09 Oct 2023, 12:09 pm

It does sound like you have some ND issues of some kind, and with a lack of focus, that sounds more into ADHD territory.

If you suspect you have autism you should see a relevant doctor for a referral. The cost may vary from country to country (it it free on the NHS to be diagnosed in the UK, for example, though waiting times are long for this service).



asidd
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 Oct 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

09 Oct 2023, 12:43 pm

magz wrote:
Hi!
One of the things that my semi-diagnosis gave me were words to describe my feelings. Not the regular emotions but things like sensory overload.
Do you have some space only for yourself, where you feel happy the way you are?


Hi,

My day is quite packed with work and then kids. Don’t really get anytime for myself.



asidd
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 Oct 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

09 Oct 2023, 12:46 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
It does sound like you have some ND issues of some kind, and with a lack of focus, that sounds more into ADHD territory.

If you suspect you have autism you should see a relevant doctor for a referral. The cost may vary from country to country (it it free on the NHS to be diagnosed in the UK, for example, though waiting times are long for this service).


Hi,

I am in germany and diagnosis etc would be free here as well. I just wanted to ask if the direction of my thought is correct. I am almost sure about adhd/ads. Psychologist appointments are quite hard to get.

Thanks and regards



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,787
Location: United Kingdom

09 Oct 2023, 12:54 pm

asidd wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
It does sound like you have some ND issues of some kind, and with a lack of focus, that sounds more into ADHD territory.

If you suspect you have autism you should see a relevant doctor for a referral. The cost may vary from country to country (it it free on the NHS to be diagnosed in the UK, for example, though waiting times are long for this service).


Hi,

I am in germany and diagnosis etc would be free here as well. I just wanted to ask if the direction of my thought is correct. I am almost sure about adhd/ads. Psychologist appointments are quite hard to get.

Thanks and regards


I would say that you definitely should look into whether you are autistic or adhd or both.

Take care. :)



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,695
Location: Long Island, New York

10 Oct 2023, 9:25 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Besides Autism and ADHD I would also look into OCD. I suggest that because of the compulsion to clean and other things.

I would advise that do seek a professional assessment to figure out what is going on because whatever it is it is making your life difficult and it’s free where you are. Finding out what the issue(s) are is helpful in dealing with them.

Feel free to look around and ask questions here.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,289

10 Oct 2023, 10:18 am

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My wife had OCD so I know it very well.

There is/was a web site call stuck in a doorway.

An OCD literally gets stuck in a doorway. They need do their compulsion no matter what.
Lets say they need to make sure the oven is off and touch the knobs.
What happens if you remove the oven. No oven. Nothing to touch.
An OCD invents a new compulsion they need to do!

With me, give me a shiny new object and I'll forget about whatever looks like OCD.



ImagineDragons
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 29 Mar 2020
Age: 1963
Gender: Male
Posts: 151
Location: England

01 Dec 2023, 4:25 am

Some great responses so far and I think they are onto something ..

I myself have Aspergers.. recently discovered I also have ADHD ( following my daughter’s diagnosis) and OCD .

It’s quite a ‘heady mix’ as they say .. extremely fragile and soooooo exhausting physically and mentally


It’s such a pity that nobody can see how we all suffer with these invisible issues



Minuteman
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 23 Jan 2020
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 243

05 Dec 2023, 10:01 pm

asidd wrote:
2. I am always intimidated by strong personalities: I have many strong personalities in my life and they always want something specific emotionally/physically and when I fail to provide those they get very angry and I feel intimidated by them. This is making me very frustrated and angry inside. No courage to speak out.



3. I feel like no one understands me or my feelings, and I can’t be expressive about them. When I convey that it is hard for me to change this behavior or achieve something, no one understands and blame that i am not willing to achieve this. My wife wants me to be expressive and i really want to be that but I just can’t do it.




I know where you're coming from with these. There's a thread on bullying that you might want to check out. Quite a few of us have struggled with being assertive.

The problem with #3 may be less about others understanding your feelings, but you not understanding your own feelings. I had to break down that wall before I could really understand myself and know why I've acted the way I did.



MatchboxVagabond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,473

26 Dec 2023, 9:41 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Besides Autism and ADHD I would also look into OCD. I suggest that because of the compulsion to clean and other things.

I would advise that do seek a professional assessment to figure out what is going on because whatever it is it is making your life difficult and it’s free where you are. Finding out what the issue(s) are is helpful in dealing with them.

Feel free to look around and ask questions here.

IMHO, anybody with ADHD, ASD and/or OCD should be screened for the others just because of how much crossover there is and just how much they can cover each other. ADHD+OCD can look awfully similar to ASD.
ImagineDragons wrote:
Some great responses so far and I think they are onto something ..

I myself have Aspergers.. recently discovered I also have ADHD ( following my daughter’s diagnosis) and OCD .

It’s quite a ‘heady mix’ as they say .. extremely fragile and soooooo exhausting physically and mentally


It’s such a pity that nobody can see how we all suffer with these invisible issues

That's not surprising, there's a lot of crossover and up until recently, it wasn't even considered possible to have any combination of those things. When I got my ADHD/OCD dual diagnosis years ago, that wasn't at all a common thing. But, lately, I've been reading that there's roughly 30% of the ADHD population walking around with OCD, so more professional malpractice then.



Oisin
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 177

10 Apr 2024, 6:44 am

Hi,

I'll never understood why people want you/me to behave like them. You can learn a lot, but if it doesn't feel comfortable and it takes so much energy that you have to go to bed early or sit in a dark quiet room for 3 days, than it can't be healthy.
You should accept eachothers shortcomings in a relationship.
I am not authistic but I do get sensory overload quite often I"m also sensitief for light. I find it difficult to speak up when something is bothering me. Somehow I'm unable to make a sentence in my head. The circulate unfinished. When comfortable I join in a conversation.