Wishing to help, evil?

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I feel the happiest when I help others, which I surpose is an admirable trait, but is it really?

If other people were already happy, then I wouldn't be able to get my "fix" by helping them... so aren't I really wishing people to be misserable so that I can feel good about myself by helping them?

Makes any sense?

There is no person on the face of the earth that is happy 24/7. So the odds of you finding someone that you can make happy is pretty good. Someone could be in just a 'blah' mood, not miserable, but not happy either. You could stroll by and smile at them and say hi, and you have just lifted their mood to happy. (If only for a moment)

So, I dont think that you are wishing to find miserable people, but maybe they just find you.

Makes perfect sense. oblekis is right, though. No one is always happy.

I would add that it truly does not matter what your motivation is for helping people. If it is for their benefit, wonderful. If it is for your own, in part or in total, the effect remains the same: you help people. Whether you are admirable, or existing in a kind of symbiotic relationship with those you help, do all concerned, you and they, not come out better for the experience?

A useful tip here might be to observe in you any anxiety you may or may not feel in the absence of people to take care of.

Using the 'evil' word is interesting in this context, as there is a potential dark side to 'care-taking' ( codependancy or conditionalized love) as portrayed in the film 'notes on a scandal' which was superbly acted by Dame Judy Dench.

If you feel that you take care of others to avoid the sadness in your life, that's very common. Most caring professionals are motivated by this need for others to want them, however, they get paid, whilst the cost to codependants can be resentment.

There are few saints I feel, and by saints I mean those people who give with no intent of return. The world cries out for such people, sadly most of us end up on the therapist couch as a result of our efforts.

Much peace to you.

I think deep down there's a selfish motivator (though we usually don't see it) for most of our actions, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Like oblekis said, if it helps them, then...what's the harm?

makes perfect sense man. I have that too!

Its why im in the travel industry now. I LOVE helping people get the best bang for their buck and knowing i'm setting them for the best vacation of their lives.

hmm... thanks for your perspectives, they have been most useful.

Now I just hope that people here on WP will take my advice seriously, and not think that I'm just looking for a "fix"