I would give you a big hug if that was your thing, Pleiadian! I, too have been around and around and around the block due to a serious lack of imagination and a fondness for routine. I lost friends because I sorta got distracted and by the time I got back to them, they had married and had children and put them through college. . and I hadn't aged a day.
I used to think I was a soul that didn't forget their past lifetimes, that just went onto the next with out having to start out as a baby, I just had multiple lifetimes, not multiple personalities.
But what resonates with me is your sentance "and hanging on to dreams of some future when all is well. . ." That hit me right between the eyes! I thought it was supposed to be when I found out about AS and then when DXed. Although I must say it was life changing I still think that somehow my fate will be more than just fading away into infirmity and old age with no punchline to the long joke of my life. . .
Merle
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Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon