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Excluded or Included?
Isolated - Depends on others to get places and be included in the mainstream. 10%  10%  [ 4 ]
Somewhat Included / Isolated - Depends on support or in need of others about half of the time or regularly sometimes. 35%  35%  [ 14 ]
Included - Is or was employed without supports, can attend college much like others even if some more difficulty and can hold a regular job outside of home even with some accommodations or with avoiding some job types... 55%  55%  [ 22 ]
Total votes : 40

ci
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23 May 2011, 11:03 am

Are you included or excluded?

If you reply let us know how you experience life or how it is your life is now and what you need to be more included if anything.


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RaquiGirl
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23 May 2011, 12:15 pm

I replied that I'm included based on the subsequent description, but I don't FEEL included, and I choose to isolate myself outside of school and work most of the time.


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ci
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23 May 2011, 12:31 pm

RaquiGirl wrote:
I replied that I'm included based on the subsequent description, but I don't FEEL included, and I choose to isolate myself outside of school and work most of the time.


I wonder as I have been thinking about chosen isolation. The choice to be excluded yet the feeling of exclusion. Perhaps I can relate as I am trying to do a social mission. My behaviorist kind of complicated things with her desires for me conduct certain social formulaties and I am trying to be very focused and remembering to be effective. She attended the event with me and I was to talk about Humboldt Includes the campaign I put together which is not exactly ready yet. My intent was to walk up to people despite the loudness which gets to my brain and I can get disorientated and just say the same or similar things. Its kind of hard to function in loud environments let alone with the mindfulness of her requests which is to be so socially dynamic in the small talk sense. I am very confident and successful in one on one interactions but the loudness I avoid thus am excluded.

The idea that most in the world do not hold the same interest of mine and my behavior is action when the small talk of it seems wasteful. Perhaps this is why I am more excluded in at least some ways. Fixations on singular interests and not paying attention to most of the rest of the world unless it can facilitate for that interest. The goal would be transitional inclusion integrating individuals at their pace and increasing employment skills and allowing the mind to formulate with the new environments and expectations although everyone is different.


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glider18
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23 May 2011, 12:40 pm

I here you loud and clear on the loudness/ noise issue Ci. Much of what you wrote in the above reply sounds like me. Loud noises get to me. Bright lights get to me. In restaurants I request to be seated away from the bright windows. If that doesn't happen, I pull the blinds/ curtains by my table. It is hard to concentrate when the sensory issues overwhelm me. And I wonder why on a site like this that we have those annoying moving ads. I did manage to get an ad blocker on one of my computers, but still---it's annoying.


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aspie48
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23 May 2011, 8:35 pm

i have to say i think i could manage to get ahead and be included but often i feel depression limits me. The depression has nothing to do with autism.



ci
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23 May 2011, 9:50 pm

aspie48 wrote:
i have to say i think i could manage to get ahead and be included but often i feel depression limits me. The depression has nothing to do with autism.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTMrlHHVx8A&feature=player_embedded#at=103[/youtube]

Subjectively in your case depression may not have to do with autism. However individuals desiring inclusion who are held back by social and or sensory difficulties may be more prone to depression due to the desires to be included but not being able to do so. Therapeutic inclusion can address the skills and coping mechanisms to reduce depression or decrease the effects of depression on function when depression is combined with other concerns..


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OddDuckNash99
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28 May 2011, 1:02 am

I'm "somewhat included." My biggest isolation is my inability to drive. I don't think I'll ever be able to learn how to drive. I'm doomed with both AS/visual-spatial issues and OCD fears about hurting someone while behind the wheel. So, I have to depend on others or public transportation to get me around.


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ci
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28 May 2011, 12:40 pm

OddDuckNash99 wrote:
I'm "somewhat included." My biggest isolation is my inability to drive. I don't think I'll ever be able to learn how to drive. I'm doomed with both AS/visual-spatial issues and OCD fears about hurting someone while behind the wheel. So, I have to depend on others or public transportation to get me around.


Due to how it is you are would it be beneficial if you had a ASD related work place to earn a wage where the work group picked you up from home or you took the bus to attend?


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Sweetleaf
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28 May 2011, 12:56 pm

I am not sure exactly.....I feel isolated most of the time even if I am with people, but I would not say I constantly depend on others to be included makes it easier but sometimes I do just want to be alone.



RaquiGirl
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28 May 2011, 6:48 pm

This discussion is very interesting.. thanks for starting it.

I think that my sensory issues around noise and a need for personal space keep me from choosing inclusion more than I do. It's compounded by people's perceptions of me as an extrovert, which creates a lot of social expectations to socialize and exerts a lot of external pressure on me to do so... that combination has led to depression and emotional paralysis at times, where all I do is sit on my sofa in front of a television I'm not even watching with the volume on loudly to drown out the noise in my apartment complex and all the blinds closed. The noise of the television bothers me tremendously, but far less than the intermittent noise from the neighbors. I wear earplugs and put in earbud headphones when it gets to be unbearable, but I've read somewhere that it only increases my sensitivity to noise in the long run.


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CockneyRebel
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28 May 2011, 10:21 pm

I'm a 60s Mod who's a die hard Kinks Fan. Well, you asked. I'm also included within the realms of society.


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johnny77
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28 May 2011, 10:30 pm

Included by definition only. I can do my job better than my peers, but will never be a part of the group. I seem to lack some key social interaction that come naturally to my co workers.
It has hurt my job security in the past and weakened my current standing ware work. :cry:
And you would think some one with a 153 IQ could figure it out. :oops:



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28 May 2011, 11:59 pm

Somewhat isolated/included.

Offline; I am very isolated. I hardly leave the comfort of my room and really go on trips with my parents to places. I don't do much because of personal reasons and not being very good around others.

Online; I am very included in things my friends do. I feel like its easier to have a good time because I'm not pressured by face to face contact with someone.


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graywyvern
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29 May 2011, 12:05 am

"included" by these definitions, but i always feel an outsider even in groups of a narrow focus & in which my place has lasted considerable time. i am agnostic about their core beliefs (even--Art), & this sets me apart internally; externally, if i cared to show it. it is, however, convenient to be able to seem part of a group. i know if i had been better at it, my various careers would have proceeded more naturally. (now they resemble incidents, not continuities...)


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ci
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29 May 2011, 1:15 am

Isolated - Depends on others to get places and be included in the mainstream.

14% [ 4 ]

Although now there is a store around the corner but it is expensive. Six days a week I have a support worker and support workers are friends or they get fired kind of. I have another support worker who is someone that calls himself a deaf-man. He will be working with me 2 or 3 days a week extending it perhaps to seven days a week.

Before there was support workers my parents brought me groceries. I have no dislike of people and am very hyper-focused. I in groups don't feel left out if I were part of them. I have a very little desire unless it's part of my interest. However in high stimulation with noise typically but sometimes some kinds of lighting in these places I can get short-tempered, drunk like in overload and slur my speech. I am going to go to chamber mixers soon about Humboldt Includes and it is loud. For this I have a behaviorist attend with me and another person who is a socialholic which is the deaf-man.

When I was more included such as in school I found it extremely burdensome and to the point I could not go anymore because it was physically and mentally painful and the IEP people said they didn't have the funding to help. Yet in a private school where they wore all the same clothing and were more nice it seemed better and less randomness.

I wrote this topic and made this poll for a few simple reasons. The online autism advocates who are much more included then me and who cause socialadvocates disruptions and or do not help with advocacy for people like myself and who bicker should shut up and listen. The some of them are so very prideful about the image of autism in society they want to hide the truth of myself and others and just consider those like me mentally disturbed aside from the autism. I can tell you now and promise you of this fact should one of those people not take a moment and re-consider their autism advocacy priorities I can say that anyways voices of advocacy like mine will only become louder, more known and more disciplined. You are asked to help or get out of the way because others are excluded and priorities are concerns of ethics.

Other then this those that voted and are not like me I do not mean you harm just needing a bit of respect for others that need more understanding and help from society and distance from you in advocacy should it be needed.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmfkYu4m2jA[/youtube]


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02 Jun 2011, 6:47 am

According to your definition, I'm included - I just finished getting my college degree without any accomodations, and with honors! I also just got an apprenticeship which I'm scheduled to start in the fall. Even though I'll still be living with my parents to save money, I have a car and am fairly independent. If anything holds me back, it's my anxiety and sensory issues, which make me exhausted and non-productive on occasion.

I was just on vacation in a large city for the past few days and couldn't take it. The people were rude, and I had to wear earplugs and sunglasses half the time. I do much better in quiet settings. To be honest, I'm perfectly happy being reclusive sometimes, though I wonder if all aspies are like that?