We need to encourage excuse making for Aspies

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Meh, maybe. I personally got tired of bitching so to say because it falls on deaf ears anyways. If they have a problem with me then tough. At least I know I did everything I can to achieve my goal. You can't please everyone.

As far as accommodations go I highly disagree with this. I was given accommodations all through out high school and all it did was cripple me for the real world. It took some time but after failing so many college courses I finally learned how to learn. Ironic that I had to learn how to learn. After all high school idea of "accommodations" was to lower the bar instead of helping us reach the bar everyone else was at. Hell one of my Special ED teachers admittedly told me all we are trying to do is get you the basic skills to, in more or less words, flip a burger.



You know I personally didn't like to be told "man up" but the fact of the matter is this is told to everyone that is falling behind and making excuses. I am for understanding like you but the last thing an Aspie should do is make excuses. I'm glad people told me to "man up" now that I look back because I think it made me a better man. You shouldn't take it personal much less make it an excuse.

P.S. Sarcasm flies over my head all to often. I've been told I take things literal. When I see that I missed sarcasm I laugh at myself. Life is to short to be offended by everything.

Some people have more resilient DNA than others, just like black runners dash faster than white runners due to genetics. My DNA is weak and I never forget any insult a person says to me because my genetics make me emotionally immature. But we should still tolerate weak people and pansies unlike Hitler who said "Strong men rule Germany and will rule the earth". America was founded to protect weaklings who have weak DNAs which isn't their fault. I'd rather be a p*ssy than Hitler who wanted every weak and disabled person dead.

If it's my fault for not being successful, then it's Africa's fault for not developing itself with all their natural resources, yet we go help them all the time because they make excuses for being lazy and poor. But Aspies aren't allowed to accommodate for anything. Hypocrisy.

15 extra minutes on a test is too much for all these strict parents and Republican ableists, but giving billions of $ to Africa under George W. Bush was acceptable even though they aren't doing anything but fighting wars and trying to kill each others' tribe. Remember, the English and Dutch used to occupy parts of Africa and made these places rich. Now every single country in that continent is a disaster.

Last edited by DaninTexas on 04 Jun 2014, 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

I was laughing at the post containing irony. I'm not sure what Tallyman was laughing at, but I'm sure it was harmless.

Bitching all the time would be tiring, which is why I don't bother with it too much....but hell sometimes I gotta vent so I see nothing wrong with bitching every so often.

Also I grew up with no accommodations or understanding for my condition, just grew up with a lot of self guilt and being accused of simply not trying hard enough when I couldn't do everything everyone else could or had difficulties. Maybe some people on the spectrum can learn to adapt a bit better and function better in society(though if there are no impairments one does not qualify for a diagnoses)....anyways I essentially just have severe mental health issues on top of autism making me even less functional than I would be with just the autism largely due to my childhood and experience with the public school system. Thing is not everyone is able to function well enough in society to entirely fend for themself and make a living......much of the time that is caused by a mental or physical condition/disability therefore to me it only makes sense society helps accomodate these people I see no shame in that and don't think its all that unreasonable.....never been one to agree with that whole sink or swim and if you sink society says 'too bad you're screwed' just not a philosophy I agree with.

Also I think a lot of times people accuse someone of making excuses when they are more trying to explain how their condition or disability interferes with their ability to do (insert whatever it is)...of course I don't think someone should constantly always come up with every reason in the world why they can't do anything that is obnoxious....but when someone seriously cannot do something or has far too much difficulty with it and try to explain its very obnoxious when people just accuse them of making excuses....so yeah I can see why someone would take offense to being told to man up or stop making excuses when they are offering an explination to try to help people understand why they have a difficulty. For instance if someone invites me somewhere crowded with lots of sensory stimulation and I am feeling worn out due to having already had enough of that for a while due to sensory issues and I tell them 'hey actually I don't think I am really up for that my sensory issues have been getting to me' and they say 'oh stop making excuses and get over it' then yeah I'd be a little offended.


Thing is like it or not autism effects lots of aspects of life...and sometimes not in the best way, it has disabling aspects which do interfere with functioning....explaining how is not making excuses, now purposely being rude to people and then saying 'oh I can't help it I am autistic' is being a jackass and making stupid excuses....if someone autistic makes a comment someone thought was rude and the autistic person didn't know that and apologize but mention they sometimes come off as rude without intending to I wouldn't see that as making excuses so long as they aren't implying its ok for them to say rude things. For instance I can go on about topics people don't care about due to the autism, but some people close to me like my brother can tell me if I am getting too carried away with that and then I drop it...I have mentioned why I do that but also am willing to try and be aware of it and work on it or at least limit it to when i find someone else very interested in that topic.

I know I take things literal and miss sarcasm, and I can laugh at myself and people can laugh with me about it....but I've had times in the past when people more mock me for it or like try to make me feel bad about it like 'oh you're too ret*d to get that' or other such implications. Usually with people I hang around now if I miss a joke or a bit of satire we all just laugh about it but no ones trying to call me stupid like others have.

WTF????

So what you're saying is that everything that is wrong with your life is only because of your aspergers and you are not responsible for anything? Er, how about no.

I think you are being quite childish. I can't imagine having cancer and I know people in my family who have had it. My aunt and her sister had it. My aunt was fine, but her sister wasn't so lucky. She died, alone. As in, she was all alone in the house, dying while her husband was away. The pain from her loss also lead him to suicide. So for you to compare your aspergers to a terminal illness is abhorrent.

But what is more abhorrent is your worldview. You cannot just throw in the towel like that! Sure, you have difficulties and I appreciate that you feel very depressed, disempowered and helpless. But if you never try, you disable yourself - you hold yourself back.
I have aspergers and, fair enough, I've had lots of help. However I had to do a lot of the work as well. I'm about to study my honors year at Uni. Sure, I had to work a little harder and longer than others, but to me, its all worth it. Aspergers hasn't prevented me from getting where I am. In fact, many of my autistic traits helped me through all of this.

And its not like I am some genius or special snowflake or whatever. I just work damn hard and take advantage of any opportunity I got going for me. My aspergers is not just some get out of jail card.

The world doesn't owe you just because you have aspergers and grovelling for people's pity is absolutely pathetic.

I'm sorry to say this, but get a grip!

I never said I wouldn't tolerate weak people, whether they are aspies or have something else, or are perfectly normal in every way except that they are weak. Of COURSE weak people should be tolerated and accommodated. I haven't ever said they shouldn't be. Hell, I'll protect a weak person if some douchebag is trying to mess with them. Where you got the idea that strong people refuse to tolerate weak people, I don't know.

Does this have something to do with your school not letting you have 15 more minutes on a test? I'm asking because you mentioned that. If it's a regular classroom test, I see no reason not to allow that, but I don't think it should be done with the SAT's or the ACT's because they are written a certain way and given a certain length of time to accurately measure certain things. If anyone gets extra time, then it skews the results. I could see a blind person getting more time because he has to read braile, but those tests measure your mental acuity and they are meant to see what you can do in a certain amount of time.

America was not founded to protect weaklings who have weak DNA. America was founded to allow religious freedom, and the people who came over during the early years were very far from weak. If they had weak DNA they wouldn't have lasted a month. Maybe the Donner party had weak DNA, but the pioneers were strong people who made do and did for themselves and built this country out of nothing. That doesn't sound like weak DNA to me. Who told you that America was founded to protect weak people with weak DNA? Also, they had no clue what DNA was back then anyway.

America affords protection to the weak, as we should. We give protection and assistance to the weak, the sick, the disabled, the mentally ill. Who exactly do you think is providing that protection and assistance to those who are weak? The strong. That's who.

Up until my teenage years I was as weak as overcooked pasta. It was embarrassing how weak I was. Wouldn't speak up for myself, wouldn't stand up for myself, took the beatings, took the teasing, took the insults, never asked for anything for myself and I was convinced that the rest of my life would be that way because I couldn't even imagine opening that mouth of mine to say boo to a goose. I was convinced that "I can't!". "Can't" was my mantra. My grandmother used to try and tell me "Can't never could do nothing!" to get me to stop saying it, but I kept saying it. I saw absolutely no way out of that hellhole of pantywaist, crybaby, pouting, pity party blob of jello that I was.

I fell assbackwards into an unlikely friendship with a few NT girls who had just transferred to our school. They weren't used to the previous 6 years of everybody in school hating me and picking on me and playing cruel jokes on me. They didn't know that it was social death to talk to me and include me. So, they did. They were just a bit off themselves, but not as in any kind of AS or autism way. They were just, well, odd. Eccentric maybe. Those few girls didn't give a rats ass what anybody thought of them and spoke their mind. They had no desire to have anything to do with the social ladder that everybody in my school was trying to climb. They spent time with me and taught me how to act. They taught me how to talk to people, stand up for myself, speak up, shower every day, wear makeup, fix my hair, stop saying stupid s**t, talk to boys, and even to do things that I was terrified to do and convinced that I couldn't.

You say you'll never man up because you're weak. Let me ask you this. Do you think that to man up you just decide to, then walk out your front door and just do all lthe things you thought you couldn't do, and it comes naturally to you, or at least easy? Oh hell no! It's hard. It hurts. It takes years and years. An analogy for it is like going barefoot in the summer time. When it first gets warm and you go outside barefooted it hurts! Your feet get stuck with prickles and you have to stop and pull the tiny things out, you get a bruise if you step on a pebble, you can't stand the heat of the sidewalk. Your feet are tender from being in shoes and socks all winter. The skin is soft. It's weak, to use your term. Callouses and thick skin doesn't grow overnight and you don't get it without pain. You have to step on prickles over and over again until you don't even feel them. You have to walk on gravel until your feet don't bruise and get sore from the pebbles. You have to walk on the sidewalk and dance around from the heat every day and gradually you can walk without dancing around going "hot! hot!" so often. Your feet take a beating, but it's not something that will kill you, or even hurt all that bad. But the pain and the minor injuries are what make your skin grow thicker to protect your feet. It takes time, and it's gradual but by the end of the summer you can go barefoot almost anywhere and feel no pain.

The human psyche and emotions are the same way. Of course if you keep subjecting yourself to severe trauma over and over then you are more likely to simply withdraw into yourself than grow a thicker metaphorical skin, but the smaller problems, if you make yourself go through them, it toughens you a little bit. The more you force yourself to do and deal with the things that upset you, the stronger you get. That's how it works. It's not a decision you make and then just go out and do it. It's a gradual process.

Now, there are some things that some people simply cannot deal with and no matter how many times they force themselves to try to go through them, they won't grow a thicker skin. Everybody has things like that, but those of us on the spectrum seem to have more. What we have to do is find the small things that we dislike, that we really don't want to do, that will upset us or anger us but not cause a meltdown and then force ourselves to go through with them. Not constantly and not every day. Often enough though so that your mind learns that yes, you can do this even though it's not pleasant. Your mind can give you other ways to cope, or it can resign itself to dealing with this one crappy thing for 45 minutes and then going home to do what you really want to do.

That's how it works.

And I really want to know who told you America was founded to protect weaklings who have weak DNA. I seriously want to know who told you that or where you read it.

In response to Sweetleaf:

"Also I grew up with no accommodations or understanding for my condition, just grew up with a lot of self guilt and being accused of simply not trying hard enough"

Response: No, you misunderstood. I did grow up with accommodations. Believe me it's not as good as you think. It's even more disabling than having the condition in the first place. There seems to be an insensitive practice even among Special Education teachers to just lower the bar for students than to actually work with the student to reach the same bar everyone else needs to reach. In my opinion most public education school systems have their priorities screwed up.

"Maybe some people on the spectrum can learn to adapt a bit better and function better in society"

Response: That is true but even you say it yourself people on the spectrum can adapt. It comes down to the individual to recognize that and find solutions to their problem.

"Thing is not everyone is able to function well enough in society to entirely fend for themself and make a living......much of the time that is caused by a mental or physical condition/disability therefore to me it only makes sense society helps accomodate these people"

Response: You give yourself little credit if you believe this. If physically disabled people can adapt to function in society then certainly those with mental disabilities can adapt as well. No accommodations required. Again accommodations aren't as glamorous as you seem to be making them out to be. If society should help you in any way they should be getting you the help you need to overcome your problem but in no way should society lower the bar and giving handouts.

"Also I think a lot of times people accuse someone of making excuses when they are more trying to explain how their condition or disability interferes with their ability to do (insert whatever it is)...of course I don't think someone should constantly always come up with every reason in the world why they can't do anything that is obnoxious"

Response: Like I said I was told to "man up" and "stop making excuses" as well. Fact of the matter is it is nothing personal and nothing against your condition. Granted there are people who will never understand your condition but there are some that would. Even those who do understand your condition will be prone to tell you "man up" and "stop making excuses" in my case those were my parents. Even my mother believed ever since I was young that I may have autism even when the doctors disagreed with her. What we as Aspie's or anyone who is suffering from a condition need to understand is to not take it personal. If anything this is one of those social things that we need to overcome. It's what they call "growing a thick skin".

"For instance if someone invites me somewhere crowded with lots of sensory stimulation and I am feeling worn out due to having already had enough"

Response: Again here is a prime example of where growing a thick skin comes to play. This response from your friends/family was probably a knee jerk response. If you feel offended let them know but don't let it get to you. You still have the ultimate choice of going or not and if they can't respect your choice then you may have to distance them or change your relationship with them. On the same token it is a bit of an excuse to avoid settings that put you into sensory overload. You need to make some attempts to subject yourself to uncomfortable situations. Otherwise situations like that will always be uncomfortable. I know what it feels like to be with a group of strangers and feel well almost nauseous. But I knew myself that if I kept running from situations like this that I would never be able to overcome my fear of strangers. I've come a long way from that and have made huge improvements. I still feel a bit uncomfortable but I am able to navigate the social waters with much more confidence.

"[B]ut I've had times in the past when people more mock me for it or like try to make me feel bad about it like 'oh you're too ret*d to get that' or other such implications."

Response: Again I'm going to have to say what I've said earlier. You going to have to grow a thick skin and reconsider the relationship you want to have with that person. If they goes as far as to try and hurt you for missing a joke then it sounds to me like they have self-esteem issues. They are the ones with the problem not you.

I have an idea where they got that idea. You talking to him.

My point is what if not everyone can reach the same bar?....and I know you said you got accomodations, I was saying I never got accomodations or understanding of any kind for my condition just got blamed for all the traits of it and accussed of not trying hard enough, trying to be difficult and a number of things...I am sure if I had excessive accommodations it would have made things worse....but had I at least known I had autism and that was why I was a bit different and seemed to lack abilities other kids had and maybe getting a little help and support so I wasn't constantly harrassed and ostracized by other kids and even some teachers. Not everyone is going to reach the same bar, that should be acknowledged...otherwise people end up getting pushed to hard to reach something they are incapable of reaching.

Also after highschool I tried to go to college, thought I'd do alright acedemically and eventually find work that way so I went to a college pretty far and had no support network there and the depression and isolation started getting to me....I had a 'boyfriend' but turns out he was only using me for sex so yeah not a good experience and what did I do keep persisting in college....tried just pushing myself to do what i thought would get me somewhere in life and eventually I finally dropped out for good, have tried finding work bla bla bla but yeah not every employable with autism related issues and all my other mental health issues..........so got on SSI, I go to therapy and I am trying to treat my conditions and thus find solutions for problems. But I admit I can't do it alone if SSI didn't exist I wouldn't even have had a solution for having no income and I am in therapy and what not because I can't always find solutions to my problems on my own and sometimes there isn't a solution for every problem sometimes you just have to live with certain problems.

How am I giving myself too little credit by stating that some peoples physical and mental abilities interfere with their ability to function in society and find and keep gainful employment in order to make a living and take care of their basic needs and wants? I don't know where you get the idea people with disabilities who are employed never need any accomodations or anyone with a disability can do anything anyone else can and shouldn't have any help because they just need to man up and function just like everyone else............things would not be considered disabilities if they did not significantly impair functioning. In my case my autism combined with co-morbid conditions makes me too disabled to hold a job, now I can shame myself...tell myself I'm just being lazy and need to get my butt in gear and just start normally functioning well enough for a job but I know I have legitimate issues I need help with before I can ever reach any point of potentially being employable that is the reality I have to live with in my life even if it does suck. But I am not giving myself too little credit by acknowledging any of that. Also as I said not all problems can be overcome I have PTSD for one which is not a condition that goes away, it can be managed....the autism wont go away though its not entirely a problem but has problematic features. But for something simpler take someone who can't walk I suppose society needs to get rid of those access ramps since people in wheelchairs can't really go up stairs, and society should be helping them just get up and walk rather than accomodating and offering understanding that these individuals are going to likely remain disabled and need that help. I do not see government help for people who need help as handouts.............and it would be asinine for society to just expect everyone to 'get over' their disability. But I guess less taxpayer burden since all of us on disability or with disabilities can apparently do everything anyone else can with no accommodations and just need to get over our problems. I am just really not getting your reasoning there.

Also maybe people should treat each other with more respect, instead of just expecting people to 'grow a thicker skin' well I don't have a very thick skin it hurts when people treat me like crap, memories of it still bother me....I have problems with becoming suicidal because I have a damn hard time dealing with stuff like that as well as I have major issues handling stress. Again maybe not everyone can up and 'grow a thicker skin' I mean hell maybe if I had, had a thicker skin I wouldn't have developed PTSD but genetics seemed to have played a role there. Now on one hand it is good to learn to deal with things and gradually introduce yourself to new situations and develop coping stratgedies.....but no not everyone can just be less sensitive and not be hurt by mistreatment from others especially when never having any chance to develop self confidence due to constantly being told you're wrong, ret*d or this and that.

How is it an excuse to avoid a situation that will cause sensory overload? sensory overload isn't pleasant for me and just makes me very irritable till others....I see no reason I need to expose myself to situations that will overwhelm me with stress when I know I am not in a place where I can handle it. Some days my sensory issues are milder and I am fine going out but some days I am extra sensative and I know unless I want a meltdown, shutdown or generally pissing people off by being irritable and bitchy I should probably stay in a calmer environment I think that is reasonable. Also I don't think autism sensory issues go away by exposing yourself to the things that cause them I'd think all that does is expose you to uneeded stress repeatedly in an attempt to beat the sensory issues out of yourself by over-exposure I certainly do not see that as an approach that would work for me. As for things getting to me, I don't recall ever 'letting' anything do that much of the time I feel something bothered me or is getting to me and in my brain I say 'no...don't want to be bothered by this' but it happens anyways regardless if I let it or not...........thing is stuff gets to me sometimes, but I am not going to blame myself for 'letting' it get to me when it got to me regardless. Also maybe its not personal if people say man up or stop making excuses, but it can be hurtful...I mean when you are trying your hardest and get accused of needing to try harder, or you have a legitimate problem and want to explain it but it gets dismissed as making excuses...I mean like if you're having heat exuastion because you got too hot and didn't get enough water and you need to lay down and recooperate and someones in your face telling you to get up and do some more physically straining activity and quit making excuses about how you got heat exhaustion and need a rest. So basically those statements are invalidating for people actually struggling with something.

Not sure you really have any buisiness telling me I need to grow a thicker skin because its hurt me when people mock me for things....maybe they should grow some compassion and not mock people for their difficulties there is an idea, maybe you disagree but I don't think the solution to all the worlds problems is 'grow a thicker skin' I think society needs more compassion for people and more of that needs encouraging not all this 'every one for themselves, grow a thicker skin or else' type mentality. Also though people who have mocked me over stuff like that aren't really people I associate its happened on a couple mental health sites and back when I was a kid it was the other kids who bullied me I didn't try having any kind of relationship with them just wanted to be left alone........also its kind of ignorant to assume if someone is harrassing/bullying that they have self esteem issues. I've always had self esteem issues and it was usually the socially popular normal kids with friends who picked on me I have self esteem issues and I more hate myself I don't bully/harrass people so I never like that assumption since it seems more often than not its the people with self esteem issues getting picked on and harassed.

It wasn't founded for that reason, however I am of the opinion it is important for society to help such people if anyone wants to even attempt to call society a community of any kind.

This is, all of it, the most ignorant s**t I have ever read on this site. Inexcusable.

1. Black runners do not run faster than white runners because of DNA. Educate yourself.
2. Hitler cared about the "white race". He didnt give a s**t whether someone was weak or strong, only white. (Yes, he wanted disabled people dead aswell)
3. America was not founded by, or to protect, people with "weak DNA". I dont even know where you got that idea from.

4. Your opinions of Africa are have no base in reality, I strongly urge you to educate yourself if you EVER plan on speaking about it again. Most countries in Africa exports most of their resources simply to stay afloat, and for shitmoney, its a viscous circle created by the countries the export TO (...all the rich ones) and they cant get out of it. Its a horrible, horrible crime, taking advantage of the poverty in africa, and we are still doing it to this day. (And both you and I are benefiting from it directly). The rich part of the world benefits greatly from Africas poverty and basically keeps it that way. Also, Africa consists of FIFTY-FOUR countries, with different problems.

And, "we help them"?? READ A BOOK. The amount of damage countries like Kuba, France, mainly the Sojvet and USA, have done to that whole continent, you think our involvement over there has been the good kind!? You think the rich part of the world are doing them a favor, now or ever? Jesus goddamn christ I didnt think this kind of ignorance about africas history even existed anymore! Did I time-travel back to the 1950s??

We are rich because we use and abuse their poverty and have done so ever since we first went there, "we" as in the rich countries of the world. Please, please, educate yourself. These types of misconceptions of Africas history and current state, are so incredibly harmful.

Sidnote: "every country in africa is a distaster", not true. Egypt is totally fine and has been for a long time (except for the fact that you cant find a decent tasting pizza ) . So is botswana...Ghana...Southafrica is doing pretty well. I have heard Ethiopia is pretty good but not sure. Its south of the sahara that things are really really really horrible.


Blaming Africa for Africas poverty is inexcusable ignorance. Inexcusable.

Last edited by Zany on 05 Jun 2014, 3:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Not exactly, there was actually a lot about having a strong master race, weakness did matter...basically hitler wanted the best of the genetic specimens breeding. There was certainly racism but it wasn't just the being white hitler cared about it was being white, strong and a perfect genetic specimen who could reproduce and create more little perfect specimens. In the holocaust lots of disabled people or people who openly disagreed with the system and other groups where exterminated along with the jews....however even uglier people or unhealthier people who could still 'contribute and weren't locked away where sometimes I think sterilized, encouraged not to reproduce and such. I actually watched a documentary that went pretty in depth....and believe me there was a lot more too it than the idea of white superiority....they where taking it a step further trying to eradicate any weaker or undesirable DNA so they'd have a master race of blonde haired, blue eyed, physically fit, healthy beings who needed to take over the world for 'living space' and get rid of all the inferiors that was the ultimate goal essentially.

This is probably more about how you interpret the movement than anything else, and of your interpretation of the word weakness. The movement believes the white race are superior, stronger than all other races. "Weakness" within the white race that werent tolerated consisted of disabled people. Many, many of the higher-ups were not good looking, not blonde, not psychically fit. They definitely didn't try to stop people in those categories from reproducing.

We'll just have to agree to disagree! I could speak about nazis all day long usually (im swedish, we have alot of them to this day, and Im very involved in the movement against them so I know my s**t and am passionate about it) but im so upset by the "africa are weak" BS that I cant focus.

The bar has been set that even the dumbest person can graduate from high school. If Aspies can't reach that bar then that say's something. The problem with Aspies is not that we are dumb or incompetent. The problem is that we struggle learning. Accommodations to me is lowering the bar. If they have to lower the bar from it's standard position just for the slow learners not only are they making Aspies dumber they make it that much harder for you to land on your feet in the real world. Now you may have had a different experience that had similar negative impacts on your life. However in order for Aspies to progress beyond this learning curve and be successful in life it isn't accommodations that we need. It is patience and understanding from our mentor and skilled mentors who know how to teach in such a way that our minds can process the information correctly. This method should not be confused with accommodations. Or if it should be confused with accommodations then we need to change the method of accommodation. Lowering the bar IS NOT the answer.

"How am I giving myself too little credit by stating that some peoples physical and mental abilities interfere with their ability to function in society"

Response: Re-read your own statement. The answer is there. You've created a self fulfilling prophecy of failure and the end result is that you fail. Going to school is the first good step but if you keep telling yourself you are going to fail then that is what will happen.

"I don't know where you get the idea people with disabilities who are employed never need any accomodations"

Response: Arguably paraplegics need a ramp for accessibility. This creates an ease of access and makes life much more simpler. However they will not always have that assistance and will need to adapt. Now they can either wallow in their self pity or find a solution. Same goes with Aspies even though we struggle at learning we can still learn none the less. We just need to find adaptive ways to adjust to our environment. The world is not always going to accommodate you.

"[N]ow I can shame myself...tell myself I'm just being lazy and need to get my butt in gear and just start normally functioning well enough for a job but I know I have legitimate issues"

Response: I am not trying to say you need to fool yourself into functioning normally. Recognize you differences and find solutions for them. Their are tons of jobs out there and tons of skill sets that you can acquire. Don't let a few failed job experiences fool you into thinking that you can't hold a job.

You know I could keep dissecting your post and trying to find ways to help you but as I keep going down the paragraphs I see a pattern of self pity and self defeat. I can't imagine the difficulty you are going through just as much as you can't imagine the difficulty I went through. However I went through difficult times myself and emerged. My method of success was that I stopped saying "I can't" and started saying "I will". To say I will is not to kid myself into becoming something I am not because I know I will always have a problem. When I say I will what I am inevitably saying is I will find a solution for my problem and I will move on. The first step to progression is to change your attitude. All through out your post I see "I can't" and that is your problem right there.

We don't need to lower the bar. We need to be allowed to reach the bar via a different route.

A lot of metaphor's here for an Autism thread

I dropped out of high school to escape bullying.

It was one of the best choices I ever made. I went to college, and grad school - there was no downside whatsoever. If I had "grown a pair" and stayed in high school I don't think I would be alive now.