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gingerpickles
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24 Dec 2018, 4:48 pm

I feel meh about it.

Thrown out in a childish casual way (might be my era of upbringing) it does not trigger any anxiety or anger.
I feel different if it is used while hazing and surrounding a person, regardless if they do or do not have a condition. But bullying can use ANY word. yesterday's compliment can become the slur of tomorrow.
Retard is a slur, an insult but really in most cases, words are just that. Separate from Downs, Retarded is a genuine description meaning slow and is also used in other applications. If you are being slow, you are indeed being retarded.
I really do not find myself personally affronted nor upset on other's behalf just because a word is thrown out
If I overhear/ am called a beaner.. or a cougar.. or ugly... libtard... nazi... milf... etc... same thing.
Even "Aspie" and "Autistic" are becoming new go-to slurs.
And after overuse to escape culpability during incidences in armed services is an automatic banned condition for enlistment since last 5 years. It used to be a don't ask- don't tell. It can be in your records but ignored. They figure you make it through basic and school, you are "normal" enough. Not anymore.

I grew up when idiots are retards, losers are "gay", bad things are bogus/bummer and your peers are dudes... even when girls. And your mixed race children will be spotted!/Striped! (my moms mum in law used that one on her hispanic heritage, my grandma said it would happen if I ever involved with a 'colored' person). Lol my native history from my pale, ginger dad made me darker than either relative. And the n-word. I never could even figure why african mix were called 'black'. Being literal aspie-typical.. they are brown. I think I have only met one person dark enough to call black in all my life. I've met a handful of white (either extreme is kinda disturbing to me in uncanny valley way).

On another note, because borderline albinism a few generations back, me and my kids actually to have white spots in our hair with platinum hair color and shows up when we tan.


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KingExplosionMurder
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14 Jan 2019, 11:17 am

I think the context dictates how I would react to it.



Deemar
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14 Jan 2019, 12:05 pm

I always laugh when someone says, "You should just say they're slow instead of saying retarded."
The word retard is literally French for slow, so I'm allowed to say slow in English but not in French? I don't get it, people have weird rules.



Nist498
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08 Feb 2019, 11:49 pm

I really don't care much these days. I grew up at a time and in an area where the weird was generally just used as a synonym for stupid and was more often than not directed at ideas rather than people.


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cyberdad
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09 Feb 2019, 2:47 am

warrier120 wrote:
When I'm at school, I see the word autistic being used as if it were synonymous with r****d. People in my grade and my classes act like the two words are the same, and I like to say that at my school, autism is the new r-word. I also once heard some girl at my school say something like, "Down syndrome deluxe," when I was in my history teacher's classroom for lunch last year. Apparently, gay is the new r-word as well.


Kids have a whole dictionary of slurs. When I was in school there was a student with mild downs syndrome who was bullied. The kids all called him "Cindy". I had no idea what it mean't at the time but somebody told me it's slur based of the word syndrome. Oh well, sociopathic bullies can be creative if not intelligent or compassionate.



cemil
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09 Feb 2019, 9:01 am

Like, ninety nine point nine nine percent of the human population on this planet ? probably including me so dont take my number too seriously



Piri Alchami
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11 Feb 2019, 3:02 pm

Nist498 wrote:
I really don't care much these days. I grew up at a time and in an area where the weird was generally just used as a synonym for stupid and was more often than not directed at ideas rather than people.


I agree with you, nist498. In my junior high years there was a kid who was different--can't say what he could have been diagnosed as, but he was definitely eccentric and odd--bud I still don't recall anyone calling him a retard. However, we did use the word to describe ideas or situations.

It's just something which slows down progress...whatever it may be. So, aren't politics retarded??



cyberdad
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12 Feb 2019, 2:14 am

Piri Alchami wrote:
Nist498 wrote:
I really don't care much these days. I grew up at a time and in an area where the weird was generally just used as a synonym for stupid and was more often than not directed at ideas rather than people.


I agree with you, nist498. In my junior high years there was a kid who was different--can't say what he could have been diagnosed as, but he was definitely eccentric and odd--bud I still don't recall anyone calling him a retard. However, we did use the word to describe ideas or situations.

It's just something which slows down progress...whatever it may be. So, aren't politics retarded??


I guess it's like racism and sexism and homophobia. it all depends on whether the word was used against you as to whether you think it's irrelevant. People who were bullied and called the "r" word will experience some level of PTSD and invariably the word triggers memories of past bullying.

It's bad enough Apsies are thought to have no empathy and using the "r" word for jokes kind of reinforces that stereotype.



coschristi
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01 Mar 2019, 11:57 am

Oh, that was my initial label when "identified" during the 2d grade. My Hyperlexia interfered with my education quite a bit. Which is somewhat ironic.

I then tested at the reading level of an H.S. graduate with a high IQ so I was removed from the SPED classes.

My educators had never seen ASD before much less been trained in assessment so I was regarded as; "Well, she's not stupid but there is definitely something wrong with her!" For the rest of my years of K-12 education. Which ended in the 9th grade.

I typically muster up feigned mild outrage at the use of the word due to my very real outrage at the current propagandist statement of "There have always been autistic people! They were just misdiagnosed as ... mentally ill, RETARDED ... nerds, geeks, etc ..."

... See; because no there has not & if they had seen those "like me", before me (1970s); I would have been the first to know.


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banyanya
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01 Mar 2019, 5:09 pm

i don't really have an issue with the word when it is used jokingly. i can understand if some people don't like it. it depends on whether the intent behind its use is malicious or not i think for me.


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BlueIris24
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01 Mar 2019, 5:17 pm

It's a nasty word, but it can also be a funny one. It really depends on the context in which it is used.



Chummy
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02 Mar 2019, 12:08 am

It would be an insult for retarded people to be compared to some non-retarded (even here on the forums) who appear to demonstrate really low IQ levels and generally toxic behaviour.

I would have thought ASD people knew better, but... nope. ASD's are no saints, they demonstrate all the trash and sickening things that are apparent in our ("NT") society. My uncle has mental retardation, and he's a sweet person. So I don't see it as an insult, rather as a condition, just like ASD.

Whether some people are retards without having the actual DSM condition, that's per individual basis



cyberdad
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02 Mar 2019, 2:00 am

Chummy wrote:
It would be an insult for retarded people to be compared to some non-retarded (even here on the forums) who appear to demonstrate really low IQ levels and generally toxic behaviour.

I would have thought ASD people knew better, but... nope. ASD's are no saints, they demonstrate all the trash and sickening things that are apparent in our ("NT") society. My uncle has mental retardation, and he's a sweet person. So I don't see it as an insult, rather as a condition, just like ASD.

Whether some people are retards without having the actual DSM condition, that's per individual basis


Thanks, I was beginning to think I was the only one who found this whole debate offensive.



typhoeuszombie
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02 Mar 2019, 11:55 pm

When assaulting someone personally because of their limitations then it is inappropriate. I have been called it many times having gone through special ed but its kind of a word you throw around when frustrated about something stupid and you don't think of the implications behind the word and its history. We should try to avoid using it but sometimes we will slip because people piss us off.

I worked with special needs adults and my boss told me that the technical term was retarded but I never felt comfortable telling special needs adults they were retarded because to me they were just different and lot smarter than people gave them credit for so I will never call a special needs adult retarded because I think its a lie but I am not overly PC over words and personally I wish there we at least some adult threads where we could be more liberal with our language but I will respect the rules.

I must admit though I will never say the word that was used against blacks and I don't think I even need to mention the letter. I hate that word because of the hate behind it. I am a big fan of Martin Luther King Jr. not just because of his message of equality and inclusion of all backgrounds but his message of Democratic socialism and government aid to the people in need as necessary for true equality among all Americans. I am as pale as a ghost but try to stand up for minority rights because of the surge of racist whites coming out of the closet as a result of the current administration. It was MLK Jr.'s socialist ideals that got him murdered by those cowards.

I digress, but the point I am getting at is I understand why someone would never want to hear certain words uttered because of the background of them. I think being able to talk about sensitive issues is not something to be offended by but something to consider because how else can you improve social interaction unless you talk about the negative taboos in society. Don't be overly PC, just be respectful. There is a difference. If you don't learn how to discuss these kinds of issues civilly than you will never grow as an individual and you will be too weak to debate people who actually do have negative intentions with their argument and won't respect what you consider offensive and what will you do when they freely blast at the mouth everything you hate.

Also if you do not respect the freedom of speech of the vilest person you can think of then you do not support free speech at all. That does not mean we cannot set strict standards on ourselves in what we do and say BUT the most we can do is politely ask rephrasing but you can't always expect people to go along with your convictions. A woman said the word I despise to me as if I condoned her racist views and I just politely told her I don't like that word. (or her racist stereotypes)



cyberdad
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03 Mar 2019, 4:37 am

Look it's really not rocket science.

When speaking in public we avoid using words that we know cause harm to some people.

It's entirely possible to have an educated conversation without resorting to such words which only really serve to demonstrate to others that the speaker lacks refinement.

I understand younger people feel the need to have their own "hip talk" and take ownership of words based on the intention behind it's use. The bottom line, however, is if a word causes harm then it's never funny or "hip"



green0star
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03 Mar 2019, 9:42 am

My brother called my sister "retarded" because she "put a man before her kids" or something to that extent or another. It seems more an inaccurate statement then anything else but I really don't like that word since it was used against me years ago.