INTP Aspies & psychotropic medication

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aspiesavant
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10 Jan 2019, 6:55 pm

jimmy m wrote:
The avatar on the left is a picture of me. That is what I look like deep inside me. I am 4 or 5 years old. I am in my "pleasing four" stage of childhood development. On the outside I am a 70 old man. I use masking to appear like an adult and to live in an adult world.


On the outside, I'm a 37-year-old man. On the inside, I'm a 10-year-old boy.

I don't mask. I'm the same person when I'm with my friends, when I'm with my girlfriend or when I'm at work. Sure, I share more of my personal life with people closer to me than with people I barely know. Especially my politically incorrect views are something I share with but few people. But beyond that, there is little difference between how I treat a stranger & how I treat someone close to me.

I love building Chinese bootlegs of Lego modular buildings. I love collecting and reading old books. I honestly don't care if my family members of colleagues know about that. Why should I? Heck, my inner child is something I'm proud of.

jimmy m wrote:
So this childlike trait has been described in several savant INTP Aspies. Because I am a child, my brain is still moldable. I have retained a trait called brain plasticity. As a result I can transition between these two states easily. Also when I undergo Myer-Briggs testing I will show up as a strong INTP or INTJ.


It sounds like you're just an INTP pretending to be an INTJ, because he believe INTJs are most socially acceptable.

jimmy m wrote:
This is also why I continue to learn each and every day. I live in a world of wonder.


It's one of the reasons I started collecting old books. IMO, there's little more fascinating than seeing the world through the eyes of people living in the 1920s. It tells you so much of the world of not just the early 20th century, but also how it came to be the way it was and how it evolved into the society we live in today.



aspiesavant
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10 Jan 2019, 6:58 pm

DrAlan wrote:
Sure, nowadays I work in product management in a telecoms company (satellite based) and I'm doing process engineering / analysis at the moment. The thread running through my career is analysis, algorithms, methods, creativity, plus not being able to bare technology for the sake of technology & asking awkward questions to make people think. Despite my alexithymia and low affective empathy, I have good cognitive empathy and can help often help people from different backgrounds communicate with each-other. I also make people be precise about what they're talking about (because I don't 'get it' otherwise) and this has become a useful skill - because I'll ask the question that everyone else is thinking until things become clear :-)


It sounds like you found the perfect INTP job.

How would you say your medication affects your capacity to do your job?



graceksjp
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11 Jan 2019, 3:35 pm

Personally Im not a huge fan of medication especially for Aspies but I know it does help some people.
Im INTP. Ive never really taken anything. In terms of anxiety tho, my mom shoved some Xanax down my throat once for a few days so Id chill out. NEVER AGAIN. Not sure if youd react similarly, but I hated it. Im perfectly happy to go drug free.


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jimmy m
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11 Jan 2019, 6:20 pm

aspiesavant wrote:
It's one of the reasons I started collecting old books. IMO, there's little more fascinating than seeing the world through the eyes of people living in the 1920s. It tells you so much of the world of not just the early 20th century, but also how it came to be the way it was and how it evolved into the society we live in today.


Hummm! It sounds like we have something in common. I like collecting old books also. I use to visit old book stores when I was a teenager. I love the smell of old books. I especially liked the rare book collection.

When I was a young adult I started to buy old books. But shortly after I started the price of old books soared and I could no longer afford the hobby. The oldest book in my collection is 1555.

Google worked with major libraries to digitize rare books. There is a vast collection of digitizes rare books available at Advanced Book Search



MDD123
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12 Jan 2019, 12:45 am

I took Zoloft for several years to keep the depression at bay, it gave me boundless energy (and even led to some extroversion) but over time it wore my actual feelings away, made it hard to keep my impulses at bay, and way harder to sleep. I'm a pretty adventurous guy when it comes to hallucinogenic / mind altering drugs, but I wouldn't get back on any prescription meds, its better to be an introvert the slow and painful way.


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DrAlan
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12 Jan 2019, 9:03 am

aspiesavant wrote:

It sounds like you found the perfect INTP job.

How would you say your medication affects your capacity to do your job?


Yes it is a pretty good match for my skills. The medication seems to help me with my job as well as life generally - without it I tend to lose the ability to think logically and also lose reliable access to my brain's filing cabinet. Whilst I can of course write stuff down, make lists and reminders etc, there is no substitute for having all of the necessary ideas in the brain's "RAM" so that connections can be made and allowing new ideas for ways forward. Without the medication my memory is very much like Swiss cheese - and there are no clues as to what should be in the holes. Actually it's still like Swiss cheese *on* medication, but the holes are smaller and less numerous :-)


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aspiesavant
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15 Jan 2019, 7:03 am

graceksjp wrote:
Im INTP. Ive never really taken anything. In terms of anxiety tho, my mom shoved some Xanax down my throat once for a few days so Id chill out. NEVER AGAIN. Not sure if youd react similarly, but I hated it. Im perfectly happy to go drug free.


I've tried a whole range of substances... from ritalin, dextroamphetamine & methylone to ketamine, oxycodon & LSD.

While some of these substances are suitable for occasional usage, each of these substances comes with their own negative traits, however, which makes them ill suited for daily (or even weekly) usage.

jimmy m wrote:
Hummm! It sounds like we have something in common. I like collecting old books also. I use to visit old book stores when I was a teenager. I love the smell of old books. I especially liked the rare book collection.


I totally relate :D

jimmy m wrote:
When I was a young adult I started to buy old books. But shortly after I started the price of old books soared and I could no longer afford the hobby. The oldest book in my collection is 1555.


1555? Wow!

Books older than 1850 do indeed tend to be very expensive. I own but a few shelves of books from that period, and my oldest books is from the 17th century.

While I do own quite a few books printed after 1950, my focus has always been on books from 1850 - 1950. I very must love that period and many books from that era can still be found at reasonable prices.

It sure helps, though, that I live near my country's main university, and the "special collection" department of the university library sells its doubles every year or so at very reasonable prices. I once bought 400 kg of books from them at 400 Euro, and this includes several 19th century editions.

Currently, I have about 25 to 30 m² of shelf space filled only with books pre-dating 1951, displayed along a single 12m wall :wink:

jimmy m wrote:
Google worked with major libraries to digitize rare books. There is a vast collection of digitizes rare books available at Advanced Book Search


You can find quite some digitized old books on archive.org as well. I sometimes look up stuff there if I need to look something up in a book I don't own.

Browsing digital books just doesn't compare, though, to the joy of sticking your nose in a genuine, physical copy of a 19th century volume.

MDD123 wrote:
I took Zoloft for several years to keep the depression at bay, it gave me boundless energy (and even led to some extroversion) but over time it wore my actual feelings away, made it hard to keep my impulses at bay, and way harder to sleep.


Reminds me of when I took prescription dextroamphetamine.

My focus, energy and mood all improved initially, but after some time I became increasingly numb & apathic... which didn't feel pleasant at all!

MDD123 wrote:
I'm a pretty adventurous guy when it comes to hallucinogenic / mind altering drugs, but I wouldn't get back on any prescription meds, its better to be an introvert the slow and painful way.


I very much relate.

Overall, I've also had better experiences with illegal substances than with prescription drugs. Unfortunately, many illegal substances are very hard to come by because they are... well... illegal. And most also aren't without eg. the risk of addiction or without being making you unable to engage in normal activities for several hours.

DrAlan wrote:
Whilst I can of course write stuff down, make lists and reminders etc, there is no substitute for having all of the necessary ideas in the brain's "RAM" so that connections can be made and allowing new ideas for ways forward. Without the medication my memory is very much like Swiss cheese - and there are no clues as to what should be in the holes. Actually it's still like Swiss cheese *on* medication, but the holes are smaller and less numerous :-)


That's... interesting... very interesting.

Thanks for sharing this!



MDD123
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15 Jan 2019, 10:50 am

aspiesavant wrote:

Reminds me of when I took prescription dextroamphetamine.

My focus, energy and mood all improved initially, but after some time I became increasingly numb & apathic... which didn't feel pleasant at all!
...
I very much relate.

Overall, I've also had better experiences with illegal substances than with prescription drugs. Unfortunately, many illegal substances are very hard to come by because they are... well... illegal. And most also aren't without eg. the risk of addiction or without being making you unable to engage in normal activities for several hours.


That's a good way to sum it up, numb and apathetic, even bad days are better than that.

Yea, weed is legal in my state, I have to keep myself busy to keep from using it. I'm glad the prohibition is over here, but it's still a vice, and vices have to be managed.


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aspiesavant
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16 Jan 2019, 8:02 am

MDD123 wrote:
That's a good way to sum it up, numb and apathetic, even bad days are better than that.

Yea, weed is legal in my state, I have to keep myself busy to keep from using it. I'm glad the prohibition is over here, but it's still a vice, and vices have to be managed.


The one substance that worked best for me was Methylone.

That's an empathogenic substance that actually increases my empathy and thus reduces the social deficits associated with my ASD. In my mind I say the exact same thing I would say when sober, but somehow the substance makes it come out much better. I used it for anything from family events to job applications.

Unfortunately, the substance has become illegal pretty much anywhere and I've been unable to find it for years.



jimmy m
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16 Jan 2019, 11:27 am

Quote:
Currently, I have about 25 to 30 m² of shelf space filled only with books pre-dating 1951, displayed along a single 12m wall
A 12 meter wall (almost a 40 foot). Most houses do not have a continuous 40 wall unless you count the basement. Anyways, that is a lot of books.

I transitioned from collecting old books to collecting new leather bound book of old masters. Eventually these leather bound books became too expensive and I had filled up all my shelves of my house and there was no longer any more room, so I switched to collecting 19th century photographs.



aspiesavant
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16 Jan 2019, 11:55 am

jimmy m wrote:
Quote:
Currently, I have about 25 to 30 m² of shelf space filled only with books pre-dating 1951, displayed along a single 12m wall
A 12 meter wall (almost a 40 foot). Most houses do not have a continuous 40 wall unless you count the basement. Anyways, that is a lot of books.


My library is 5m x 12m. Our house is about 250m² in total (garage included), with my library being the biggest room in the house.

And yes, I sure do own a lot of books. I'm currently in the process of organizing my books > 1950. I only moved into our house a year ago, and when I did all my books were mixed up.

jimmy m wrote:
I transitioned from collecting old books to collecting new leather bound book of old masters. Eventually these leather bound books became too expensive and I had filled up all my shelves of my house and there was no longer any more room, so I switched to collecting 19th century photographs.


I know the feeling.

As space is running out in even my 250m² library, I'm currently transitioning both my attention and my funds on Chinese bootleg Lego... for which I plan to put a display table in the middle of my library.



MDD123
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17 Jan 2019, 11:58 pm

aspiesavant wrote:
MDD123 wrote:
That's a good way to sum it up, numb and apathetic, even bad days are better than that.

Yea, weed is legal in my state, I have to keep myself busy to keep from using it. I'm glad the prohibition is over here, but it's still a vice, and vices have to be managed.


The one substance that worked best for me was Methylone.

That's an empathogenic substance that actually increases my empathy and thus reduces the social deficits associated with my ASD. In my mind I say the exact same thing I would say when sober, but somehow the substance makes it come out much better. I used it for anything from family events to job applications.

Unfortunately, the substance has become illegal pretty much anywhere and I've been unable to find it for years.


I had to google that one. Can't say I'd take it myself for the same reason I stopped taking Zoloft, still, it's a shame we can't make our own decisions.


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aspiesavant
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18 Jan 2019, 7:40 am

MDD123 wrote:
it's a shame we can't make our own decisions.


Our "leaders" love telling us how "free" we are, yet they increasingly treat us like small children who can't make their own decisions on anything...