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bluegreenleaves
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26 May 2019, 1:42 pm

I have a working diagnosis of Asperger's and it runs in my family. However, a lot of the posts on this website seem to indicate Asperger's is defined by a lot of logic over emotion. While I do feel I can be quite logical, I consider myself more emotional and even a Highly Sensitive Person.

Does this mean I don't have Asperger's?



lostonearth35
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26 May 2019, 1:45 pm

Aspergian people can be sensitive and emotional. If you've seen one aspie, you've only seen one aspie.



Trogluddite
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26 May 2019, 1:53 pm

No. It's not unusual for autistic people to be emotional sensitive. It is true that there is a high incidence of Alexithymia among autistic people (difficultly recognising or expressing emotions), but it certainly isn't all of us - and even those of us who do have difficulty expressing our emotions in socially "typical" ways can still feel them very strongly. For some of us, these strong emotions can even be the most common trigger for autistic melt-downs and shut-downs. The "lack of empathy" diagnostic has a lot to answer for here - it is all too often misconceived as meaning that we're emotionless or without compassion. You won't have to hang around here for too long before you see very clearly just how mistaken that is!


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Redxk
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26 May 2019, 7:34 pm

Another origin of inaccurate stereotypes is that many of us have a "flat affect" and a monotone voice. These often lead to us being assumed to be emotionally unintelligent or just plain cold. For many of us, nothing could be further from the truth.



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31 May 2019, 11:18 pm

From what I've read and discussed with my therapist, it's normal to have strong emotions.
Here's a good exemple from dr. Attwood https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbZ2QRJnUVg
If you haven't yet and are curious, I strongly suggest his video and book, he understand us so well.

But we're all different: myself, I tend to feel negative emotion very strongly, but my positive emotions are dulled.



cherryglitter
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08 Jun 2019, 1:10 am

That's definitely me, I'm highly emotional, highly sensitive and expressive OR pretty much dead or ghostlike. It's all or nothing with me.



248RPA
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08 Jun 2019, 1:30 am

The autistics I’ve met are usually sensitive emotionally, though I myself am not.


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nick007
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08 Jun 2019, 2:50 am

I've been accused of being overly sensitive alot but I'm also very logical with things. I tend to be logical when doing things & giving advice to others but I also get upset, stressed, & frustrated very easily & then I act rashly.


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Kalyke
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10 Jun 2019, 1:48 pm

Being logical, and being emotional is not mutually exclusive. I think the character of "Spock" has produced a culturally shared image (meme) considered short-hand for logical people. It is not a fight between the logical and the emotional. I think your coping mechanisms really depend on the way you were taught or learned to deal with the world. But it also has to do with how much of certain chemicals you have in your brain and body and everyone is different. One person will get a little serotonin/dopamine/adrenaline while another will get a lot of it in response to the same stimulus. The "standard" or "normal" amount is a number chosen often by some group of scientists putting out the next DSM manual. Outliers will be forced into one group or the other. Just ask yourself what IS too emotional, too sensitive? It makes no sense at all to say there is a standardized "amount" of these 2 things. You are just more emotional than the people you are using as a baseline. If you had learned these emotions somewhere else, from someone else, your baseline could be different.



TheRevengeofTW1ZTY
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10 Jun 2019, 2:04 pm

I am such an Aspie


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Mountain Goat
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10 Jun 2019, 2:32 pm

If I am one then I am very emotional. If anything too emotional at times. I don't have a monotone voice. I don't know if I am logical or not... I am both logical and illogical, though I do seek to make sense of things. It is the logical thing to do.


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AspiePrincess611
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11 Jul 2019, 12:31 pm

I have Aspergers and I am very sensitive/emotional also.



SharonB
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15 Jul 2019, 9:07 pm

I am joining this group b/c of this post. I was looking for this subject. My high sensitivity extends beyond the five senses to emotions. I scored a 90% on facial and vocal recognition on the aspietests. I am "too" expressive. For EQ I score average 50% --- near 100% on knowing what to do and lower on everything else. I studied drama and have read more parenting books than anyone I know (so far). I have skills that way. I have been "passing" as NT for a very, very long time, even fooled myself (putting aside the rock-bottom esteem that resulted). I am a person who needs help with the practical application: emotional regulation and boundaries. I would like to mitigate my gullibility. Don't tell me otherwise, b/c I'll probably believe you.

Have you found out more since your post? I have yet to talk directly to experts and the non-experts are saying I am too "warm" to be have Aspergers.



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16 Jul 2019, 1:13 am

Something I do know. I dated a lady with asperges and her son has autism. (I am quite sensitive so I am emotional but I have not been assessed yet so I can't really answer).
The lady I dated was very emotional. But what she did to deal with that is she would avoid situations which would bring out emotion... Put it this way. When our dating came to an end, I being too emotional wanted to make sure she was ok so I text her daily. She wanted to avoid emotional feelings so she asked me to stop texting her. (Ths next bit I over reacted as I do... I do tend to mess things up sometimes because I do not seem to have a central ground? I don't know). I then took it literally and deleted all the contact details I have for her and broke all contact entirely. Her husband (I introduced them shortly after we had finished dating and who was a good online friend but only recently has come back chatting on the site we were on) wasn't in touch except through a mutual friend, and now he is joining us back in the chatroom. I feel ever so guilty that I am at fault because I broke off our dating as I am a very "Off and on" character who, if I latch onto something or someone I will be full on, but if I don't I tend to not want to know or have any interest, but with people, I am too emotionally involved so like my ex girlfriend, I am... Well. Put it this way. I don't want to have sex before marriage because my emotions would get soo much deeper.. So if the dating ended I would be in such a mess... Suicide would be easy if I was in that state. So I hang back, and this is why I may find dating soo difficult. (But I only have had two proper girlfriends in my life so far).
Now am I on the autistic spectrum? I share traits, but I just do not know. Emotionwize I am quite sensitive. The odd thing is that when I am dating, or thinking of asking a lady out (Usually I try to get the lady to ask me out as I am not very good at asking out after not being able to judge other peoples intentions... "Is she just being friendly or does she like me?" sort of thing is where I have gone wrong big time, so while I do not get hints myself, I give hints, though it doesn't work as I am still single...), I tend to feel others are better then I am and I hook the ladies up with them and miss out on dating myself. I have done this a few times. Found lovely ladies and found them really nice gentlemen even though I was the one who was attracted to the lady myself and would have loved to go out on dates with her!
So to conclude. If I am on the autistic spectrum, I can say that those on the spectrum can be highly emotional beings and for many (If they are like me) far too emotional and will find ways to switch their emotions off in certain situations so they won't get hurt... If that makes any sense? It is this ability to switch off emotion by avoiding emotional situations (For example, I may go into a deep daydream of an entirely different subject to numb out my emotions to what is going on... Or I will think of nothing at all and go completely numb where I am closed to emotions but I can talk... It is like I am protecting myself on the inside while trying to, or functioning, on the outside... (If that makes sense?)
I went through a stage in my life where many years of emotion were numbed out because I went through a few years of a great many people I knew who, one at a time and sometimes days after each other died. I call them my numb years. I was operating like a robot. My Mum and I stopped going to funerals after attending 43 just in a few years as we reached a stage that if I went to another, I would suddenly get a release of all that bottled up emotion and there is no way that I could physically handle it! Both aunts, a close neighbour, both grandmothers (Both grandads had already died), both uncles, my Dad... Many, many people I knew and were close to. It was like the whole world changed for me in just a few years. AAAAAAÀAAH! I feel like shouting at the top of my voice! But I can't. (Why is it the top of my voice? Why not the bottom or the middle of my voice?)


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Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200.
Empathy 11/80. AQ 39. May make sense to some. :)


SharonB
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16 Jul 2019, 7:36 am

Mountain Goat, that reminds me that I don't know how to answer test question "do you have a hard time crying" b/c I cry all the time when talking about minor personal issues, news, books, movies --- but when I have significant personal loss, I can't cry (even when I want to) - numb, shut down.

I look forward to our assessments. When is yours? My next step is to choose a provider from the referrals I've received.