Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

JakeDay
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 2 Oct 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 219
Location: Melbourne Australia

04 Oct 2013, 12:21 pm

Yes I'm here to share. I have PTSD, diagnosed about 3 years ago. I was diagnosed with HFA last week. I suspect I've suffered from PTSD for most of my life, growing up with autism in a time when it barely existed in the text books was not entirely easy. But about 3 years ago, I survived an armed holdup. The PTSD I am suffering from as a result of that incident is still with me, my secure relationship of 8 years just disintegrated a couple of months ago, and I live with painful anxiety every day. I have really suffered because of this. Getting the HFA diagnosis has given me something to cling to. Now that I am back at square one, I think I can rebuild my life in a way that accommodates my needs more successfully. I wish you well in your recovery and regeneration.



Raziel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,592
Location: Europe

04 Oct 2013, 1:37 pm

I had PTSD (and still have some symptoms) starting 3 years ago and it got gradually better but still cause me still some suffer.
So, PTSD can get better, but it can take years and years.

But PTSD is very cribbling.


_________________
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." - Woody Allen


Sherry221B
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2013
Age: 120
Gender: Female
Posts: 670
Location: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

30 Oct 2013, 7:29 am

This interests me. I had to know what is hell. I, myself, have been unwilling through repetitive traumatic events in my existence, and I'm fully aware that at some point, I will develop Complex PTSD.



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

30 Oct 2013, 1:30 pm

Well thanks for that, whilst I was confident I had PTSD due to my complete childhood, apart from 3 wonderful years in a Children's Home, being in the same house as a violent sadist who hated my existence so I was in permanent fear, I had never heard of Complex PTSD so looked it up on Wiki where I found such symptoms as:-

" People seek increased attachment in the face of danger. Adults, as well as children, may develop strong emotional ties with people who intermittently harass, beat, and, threaten them. The persistence of these attachment bonds leads to confusion of pain and love. Trauma can be repeated on behavioural, emotional, physiologic, and neuroendocrinologic levels. Repetition on these different levels causes a large variety of individual and social suffering.

Anger directed against the self or others is always a central problem in the lives of people who have been violated and this is itself a repetitive re-enactment of real events from the past. Compulsive repetition of the trauma usually is an unconscious process that, although it may provide a temporary sense of mastery or even pleasure, ultimately perpetuates chronic feelings of helplessness and a subjective sense of being bad and out of control. Gaining control over one's current life, rather than repeating trauma in action, mood, or somatic states, is the goal of healing.[30]

Seeking increased attachment to people, especially to care-givers who inflict pain, confuses love and pain and increases the likelihood of a captivity like that of betrayal bonding,[31] (similar to Stockholm syndrome) and of disempowerment and lack of control. If the situation is perceived as life threatening then traumatic stress responses will likely arise and C-PTSD more likely diagnosed in a situation of insecure attachment than PTSD.[citation needed]

In Trauma and Recovery, Herman expresses the additional concern that patients who suffer from C-PTSD frequently risk being misunderstood as inherently 'dependent', 'masochistic', or 'self-defeating', "

Well although I have been diagnosed with attachment disorder, I never admitted my extreme masochistic needs, but guessed they were a perversion of legitimate emotional bonding caused by learning as a child that a relationship with others must involve terror, pain and humiliation.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 2 May 2021
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 230

13 Jun 2021, 3:03 pm

Nambo wrote:
Well thanks for that, whilst I was confident I had PTSD due to my complete childhood, apart from 3 wonderful years in a Children's Home, being in the same house as a violent sadist who hated my existence so I was in permanent fear, I had never heard of Complex PTSD so looked it up on Wiki where I found such symptoms as:-

" People seek increased attachment in the face of danger. Adults, as well as children, may develop strong emotional ties with people who intermittently harass, beat, and, threaten them. The persistence of these attachment bonds leads to confusion of pain and love. Trauma can be repeated on behavioural, emotional, physiologic, and neuroendocrinologic levels. Repetition on these different levels causes a large variety of individual and social suffering.

Anger directed against the self or others is always a central problem in the lives of people who have been violated and this is itself a repetitive re-enactment of real events from the past. Compulsive repetition of the trauma usually is an unconscious process that, although it may provide a temporary sense of mastery or even pleasure, ultimately perpetuates chronic feelings of helplessness and a subjective sense of being bad and out of control. Gaining control over one's current life, rather than repeating trauma in action, mood, or somatic states, is the goal of healing.[30]

Seeking increased attachment to people, especially to care-givers who inflict pain, confuses love and pain and increases the likelihood of a captivity like that of betrayal bonding,[31] (similar to Stockholm syndrome) and of disempowerment and lack of control. If the situation is perceived as life threatening then traumatic stress responses will likely arise and C-PTSD more likely diagnosed in a situation of insecure attachment than PTSD.[citation needed]

In Trauma and Recovery, Herman expresses the additional concern that patients who suffer from C-PTSD frequently risk being misunderstood as inherently 'dependent', 'masochistic', or 'self-defeating', "

Well although I have been diagnosed with attachment disorder, I never admitted my extreme masochistic needs, but guessed they were a perversion of legitimate emotional bonding caused by learning as a child that a relationship with others must involve terror, pain and humiliation.



I realize this post is very very old but, thanks for posting this reply, I looked up the book you cite here Trauma and Recovery by Herman, and realized she is quoted by another book I am reading, the Body Keeps the Score. I will read this book as well. Thanks and hope you are well although significant time has passed.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


chaosmos
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 19 Jul 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Melbourne, Australia

21 Jul 2021, 12:08 am

browneyedgirlslowingdown wrote:
Nambo wrote:
Well thanks for that, whilst I was confident I had PTSD due to my complete childhood, apart from 3 wonderful years in a Children's Home, being in the same house as a violent sadist who hated my existence so I was in permanent fear, I had never heard of Complex PTSD so looked it up on Wiki where I found such symptoms as:-

" People seek increased attachment in the face of danger. Adults, as well as children, may develop strong emotional ties with people who intermittently harass, beat, and, threaten them. The persistence of these attachment bonds leads to confusion of pain and love. Trauma can be repeated on behavioural, emotional, physiologic, and neuroendocrinologic levels. Repetition on these different levels causes a large variety of individual and social suffering.

Anger directed against the self or others is always a central problem in the lives of people who have been violated and this is itself a repetitive re-enactment of real events from the past. Compulsive repetition of the trauma usually is an unconscious process that, although it may provide a temporary sense of mastery or even pleasure, ultimately perpetuates chronic feelings of helplessness and a subjective sense of being bad and out of control. Gaining control over one's current life, rather than repeating trauma in action, mood, or somatic states, is the goal of healing.[30]

Seeking increased attachment to people, especially to care-givers who inflict pain, confuses love and pain and increases the likelihood of a captivity like that of betrayal bonding,[31] (similar to Stockholm syndrome) and of disempowerment and lack of control. If the situation is perceived as life threatening then traumatic stress responses will likely arise and C-PTSD more likely diagnosed in a situation of insecure attachment than PTSD.[citation needed]

In Trauma and Recovery, Herman expresses the additional concern that patients who suffer from C-PTSD frequently risk being misunderstood as inherently 'dependent', 'masochistic', or 'self-defeating', "

Well although I have been diagnosed with attachment disorder, I never admitted my extreme masochistic needs, but guessed they were a perversion of legitimate emotional bonding caused by learning as a child that a relationship with others must involve terror, pain and humiliation.



I realize this post is very very old but, thanks for posting this reply, I looked up the book you cite here Trauma and Recovery by Herman, and realized she is quoted by another book I am reading, the Body Keeps the Score. I will read this book as well. Thanks and hope you are well although significant time has passed.


The Body Keeps the Score is a great book that really helped me to understand my C-PTSD. I grew up with many many years of childhood adversity from physical and emotional abuse, substance abuse in the household, incarceration of a parent. I think my trauma meant I had to deal with life in a very independent and aggressive manner. I've struggled with relationships. I think my ASD quirks and qualities were missed because adults weren't look out for me.



TenMinutes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2021
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 646

21 Jul 2021, 5:39 am

Don't know, but the ongoing trauma some autistic people experience seems a lot like c-ptsd. I know I relate to pretty much everything someone posts to facebook on the topic.



chaosmos
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 19 Jul 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Melbourne, Australia

21 Jul 2021, 7:23 pm

TenMinutes wrote:
Don't know, but the ongoing trauma some autistic people experience seems a lot like c-ptsd. I know I relate to pretty much everything someone posts to facebook on the topic.


Totally! It seems like a lot of my hyper sensitivities meant I was a lot more subject to trauma. My NT sister, who lived much of the same life as me, is no where near as affected. Which, whilst we were growing up, never made any sense to me… but now I suspect it is because I am not NT.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 2 May 2021
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 230

05 Aug 2021, 5:40 pm

chaosmos wrote:
browneyedgirlslowingdown wrote:
Nambo wrote:
Well thanks for that, whilst I was confident I had PTSD due to my complete childhood, apart from 3 wonderful years in a Children's Home, being in the same house as a violent sadist who hated my existence so I was in permanent fear, I had never heard of Complex PTSD so looked it up on Wiki where I found such symptoms as:-

" People seek increased attachment in the face of danger. Adults, as well as children, may develop strong emotional ties with people who intermittently harass, beat, and, threaten them. The persistence of these attachment bonds leads to confusion of pain and love. Trauma can be repeated on behavioural, emotional, physiologic, and neuroendocrinologic levels. Repetition on these different levels causes a large variety of individual and social suffering.

Anger directed against the self or others is always a central problem in the lives of people who have been violated and this is itself a repetitive re-enactment of real events from the past. Compulsive repetition of the trauma usually is an unconscious process that, although it may provide a temporary sense of mastery or even pleasure, ultimately perpetuates chronic feelings of helplessness and a subjective sense of being bad and out of control. Gaining control over one's current life, rather than repeating trauma in action, mood, or somatic states, is the goal of healing.[30]

Seeking increased attachment to people, especially to care-givers who inflict pain, confuses love and pain and increases the likelihood of a captivity like that of betrayal bonding,[31] (similar to Stockholm syndrome) and of disempowerment and lack of control. If the situation is perceived as life threatening then traumatic stress responses will likely arise and C-PTSD more likely diagnosed in a situation of insecure attachment than PTSD.[citation needed]

In Trauma and Recovery, Herman expresses the additional concern that patients who suffer from C-PTSD frequently risk being misunderstood as inherently 'dependent', 'masochistic', or 'self-defeating', "

Well although I have been diagnosed with attachment disorder, I never admitted my extreme masochistic needs, but guessed they were a perversion of legitimate emotional bonding caused by learning as a child that a relationship with others must involve terror, pain and humiliation.



I realize this post is very very old but, thanks for posting this reply, I looked up the book you cite here Trauma and Recovery by Herman, and realized she is quoted by another book I am reading, the Body Keeps the Score. I will read this book as well. Thanks and hope you are well although significant time has passed.


The Body Keeps the Score is a great book that really helped me to understand my C-PTSD. I grew up with many many years of childhood adversity from physical and emotional abuse, substance abuse in the household, incarceration of a parent. I think my trauma meant I had to deal with life in a very independent and aggressive manner. I've struggled with relationships. I think my ASD quirks and qualities were missed because adults weren't look out for me.


I have significant trauma myself, that much of is only beginning to be resolved here recently. I think being Autistic made me a target, and was dismissed because of the trauma, to be honest too I think it served as a protective factor as well.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


Abigailc1997
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 3 Sep 2021
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

03 Sep 2021, 4:14 am

Oh yeah, big time. I’m not gonna go into great detail, well I have a lot to say but that’s my way of keeping it “brief.” Well here goes nothing…

foster care, especially in a “therapeutic foster home”, in addition to frequent bullying, sexual abuse and harassment from COUNTLESS boys, and lots of other things around that time, has taught me to be VERY afraid, and I still deal with that s**t to this day sometimes, only now it’s mostly grown men. I was not always like this, trust me. I just love how people are so quick to think blame biological parents for everything and quick to think they’re bad, yet those who “take care of you” in different homes or the agency, “oh they’re just looking out for you” or “well that’s f****d up, but at least it makes you stronger”. Yeah, strong enough to murder those monsters some day, if that’s what you wanna call “strong”, in addition to being very desensitized to other peoples problems in general, unless it’s extreme. So please, if you refuse to listen and empathize, or if you think you had it “worse than me”, then eat dick. I don’t wanna talk about my problems anymore because of this, seriously. And honestly, therapy has almost always been useless. My problems are much too severe and most people are toxic individuals, I’ve learned these days. And a lot of these “therapists” don’t know ass about REAL problems, no instead they “just want to help”. Well, somebody who ACTUALLY knows what it’s like needs to teach you how to help, because you couldn’t be less helpful.

*edit ok I’m not serious about murdering anyone ok lol just don’t want anyone to be scared I’m gonna be some blood thirsty maniac on the news. Ah, nobody listens to me anyway, sheesh! :|



Marmontes
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 12 Apr 2021
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 6
Location: USA

20 Sep 2021, 3:50 pm

This interests me. I had to know what is hell. I, myself, have been unwilling through repetitive traumatic events in my existence, and I'm fully aware that at some point, I will develop Complex PTSD.



The_Znof
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 620
Location: Vancouver Canada

20 Sep 2021, 6:12 pm

TenMinutes wrote:
Don't know, but the ongoing trauma some autistic people experience seems a lot like c-ptsd. I know I relate to pretty much everything someone posts to facebook on the topic.


my meltowns are 100% c-ptsd, and I never f*****g had one till my late 40's

Dont know, but giving 90% odds the lack of awareness of c-ptsd and ptsd are a huge source of confusion re autism.



Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,338
Location: Outter Quadrant

20 Sep 2021, 7:02 pm

my heartfelt sympathies to , one and all the Posters to this thread. Hope you folks can maintain yourself as best as you can through your life experiences .


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


Flown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Sep 2016
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,217
Location: Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

22 Sep 2021, 7:03 am

I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe OCD (at the same time) back in 2007.
My PTSD is related to repeated physical and emotional abuse from early childhood through my teenage years. I still have nightmares to this day, and I'm sure it has shaped a lot of my behaviors. I must say that I actually felt relief when I found out that my abuser (my ex-stepfather) died in 2009.


_________________
ૂི•̮͡• ૂ ྀ


Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,338
Location: Outter Quadrant

22 Sep 2021, 1:16 pm

Have had my own share of mind altering complex ptsd . Have been through and seen things physically mentally and emotionally that , if i were to tell someone about the total of things .
That i have personally been through, i might not believe myself . Murder of my spouse, sexual molestation of my little sister . And these were my own birth family . i grew up with .... Major civil rights violations by
lawyers , sheriffs and police beatings by police while in custody ,Witnessing another inmate at a different time in a different facility being beaten and kicked in the head by Sheriffs while being held down. judges and prosecuetors covering up lies . Ongoing breaking and entering of my home theft of private personal property, In two different states. ID theft and used to drain my bank account.
Liable by multiple neighbours in both States. All of this plus the mental consternations that go with it.
By the way both times in jail for over a month , the judge dismissed the charges by the police . But no apology for what had been done. But i got credit for time served. FOR WHAT...have not ever been a criminal . Had numerous times been accused of civil violations in both states concerning my home.
By people who decided i was an easy target All of which were dropped. Been ripped off by lawyers for over a million dollar,wrongful death law suit , Which was my only recourse left in the murder of my husband.
Because the prosecuetor and homicide offices refused to include facts in the murder trial .
Allowing the murderers to escape being prosecueted . This is not the entire list by any means .
Does not include a large number of medical abuses over the years.
But weirdly enough, i do believe that being a Aspie has been a saving grace through all of this .
My ability to intensely focus on things that become special interests . Including what appears to be almost a childlike mindset towards reality . Has allowed me to disregard many issues and divert my focus to other much more peaceful pursuits . Can still look at the clouds and trees and think how beautiful and wonderous they are to behold. Still wish i could find a decent and fare lawyer someday.


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,002
Location: Poland

22 Sep 2021, 2:03 pm

^ oh, my!

I'm the third generation after the main trauma. Growing up in a family with something big unresolved, that likely happened during the war and that likely never have been told.

At least it all makes sense after I assume it was that way - all the chaotic, violent emotions over seemingly nothing, rigid roles and masks even between parents and children, sudden violent emotional collapses and "inner Machiavellis getting over" with powerful fights intended to hurt the other the most - then claiming perfect love.

There was something my grandmother could never face and she went chaotic lenghts to avoid this something.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.