Borderline Personality Disorder - nobody is talking about it
If the psychs understood the amount of time one spends in complete anxiety that ones offspring is going to go and kill herself...
Are they not aware of (a) the suicide rate amongst BPD sufferers, and (b) the importance of timely intervention and treatment tailored to their condition ????
It is so so wrong.
The problem is if diagnosis was required for intervention - because at this age, right intervention may prevent developing BPD and, thus, a lot of suffering of both the person and their surroundings.
Certainly teens with BPD-like behaviors require interventions, even if diagnoses shouldn't be made at this age.
_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
Yeah, that's a good point.
To get any kind of help I had to say she had "emotional regulation issues".
There's stigma, too. Mention BPD and nobody wants to know.
Once I was basically begging for help from a psychologist and they refused to see her, accusing me of "pathologising" my daughter.
I think no one talks about it because it is stigmatized. I see so many overlaps between NPD and BPD. I am aware that not everyone with BPD is abusive but it is often associated with it because every person who has known someone with it has always been hurt by them. I am one of them. Plus on places like reddit and Twitter, I have actually seen them say how you are ableist if you do not tolerate them and they blame it on you if you are hurt by them. They take no accountability for their actions. I guess it's easier to be a victim and blame them than taking accountability. And they wonder why their condition is stigmatized?
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
note, daughter discusses her diagnosis freely and has given me permission to do so also.
our adult daughter was diagnosed with Borderline 15 years ago. ( at age 21) The understanding of Borderline has evolved since then, just as understanding of autism has.
Daughter has multiple diagnoses. I find it interesting that many recent studies seem to be correlating Borderline with autism, now saying that Borderline in some cases can be autism with maladjustment and that many people are diagnosed with Borderline are actually autistic with survival behaviors which have developed over a period of time.
It used to be thought that Borderline was only present in those who had been horribly abused, but as understanding of both Borderline and Autism is growing, there are questions about whether they are one in the same or a combination of bipolar and autism, etc.
Psychology is in its infancy and much needs to be discovered still.
15 years after her diagnosis, daughter has been working all this time on learning new ways to deal with her struggles and has made amazing progress.
If you have a Borderline diagnosis or know somebody who does, please encourage them to keep trying until they find something that works.
Our early days right after diagnosis were very difficult, but as time has passed and daughter has continued to work at finding the best ways for her to do things, worked with her Psychiatrist to find and adjust meds, etc, to be a self advocate and to be more self aware, she is doing very well.
Not that she does not have struggles, as we all do, but there is hope for all of us if we keep trying to learn about our struggles and are open to learning new ways, trying new meds or therapies, etc etc.
It is not a "take a chill pill and everything is fine" sort of thing.
Reaching out for help and support when we need it is so scary, but please continue to try, there is no reason a person should suffer so horribly when so many alternatives are available today.
_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson
The overlapping respective issues of BPD and autism is this form of numerous intolerance of anything within a single person.
It could be towards anything really.
Senses, emotions, situations, thoughts or ideas, actions, beliefs, day to day living... Even existence itself.
In fact this is why the suicidal rates are high -- because that's mostly the real reason for suicide -- the constant, numerous and possibly chronic intolerance of living in a single person. And the person wants out.
A single person with numerous intolerance -- whether internal or external. And intolerances causes triggers of whatever reaction a person ends up.
Press the triggers too often times everyday, for years, and continuously, it'll definitely lead to mental illness.
Stigma be damned.
Society has yet to actually teach humans out of their bad habits with emotions, and yet to teach self reflection and resolution.
_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).
Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.
Can't see too much in the DSM5 BPD criteria that matches up with ASD criteria, even a lack of empathy. Borderlines are said to have little or no affective empathy and a significant amount of cognitive empathy. Autist people are said to have significant affective empathy and little or no cognitive empathy. I do think C-PTSD is closer though.
kuze
_________________
'I am that which you seek to destroy'
I definitely thing stigma is why it isn't brought up that much. Interestingly, loads of women with ASD are first misdiagnosed as having BPD/EUPD so I would expect it to be brought up more. I think I've mentioned in a few of my posts I've been told I have BPD traits (psychiatrist didn't want to diagnose me because of my age) but I haven't seen many others talking about it here I avoid reading about it elsewhere online though. Many ppl see ppl with BPD as abusers and tell people to run away from us as fast as possible.
My other thought was regarding whether those with diagnosed BPD had BPD diagnosed as thier primary (first) condition or was it subsequently tagged onto an existing condition such as ASD or ADHD?
kuze
Something i also notice is a large amoutn of people with adhd and autism in relatinoship with people bpd.
_________________
ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup or by email at [email protected]
Long post!
I also think people tend to be less aware of their personality disorders than they are of other mental health issues of themselves.
I mean cluster b personality disorders all come with stigma. Personally i don't really have any i talk to to come out to who isnt' aware of it. Yeah well most if not all peopel who have bpd were abused as children. My fiancee was she has bpd and also autism. anyway i have zero tolerance policy ofr epopel who abuse regardless of diagnosis i also have zero tolerance with ASPD or NPD but that's because they both trigger me. And my mother was ASPD.
Thanks for that Kuze
This is something that I have reflected on at length.
I think that its something more nuanced than simply being drawn to people who are predictable, loyal and apparently accepting.
If we look at a psychodynamic model of EUPD/BPD then it could be said that the persons core belief system and model of themselves within the world is skewed - more often than not by childhood trauma. Although this core belief or 'schema' is skewed and leads to maladaptive and distressing behaviour that ultimately can be unhelpful to the person they tend to protect this schema and reinforce it. Thus they, often on a subconscious level, will act in ways that prompt others to behave towards them in such a manner as to support their world view. If the core belief is "I am unlovable and everyone will reject me" then this is what they will in effect cause to happen.
Autistic people can be a great form of reinforcement for these skewed schema - although they may cope successfully for a period of time, eventually the high emotional demands and unpredictability of this kind of relationship are highly likely to cause burnout. This burnout can be interpreted very easily as rejection - the circle is then complete for the person with EUPD/BPD.
Just my opinion and my experiences - in no way meant to be disparaging to those that have this trauma induced condition. And I fully accept that I am generalising - everyone is an individual with a different profile.
The next chapter for me is planned out and very straightforward. No more relationships. Live on my own until I retire in about 8 years time and then move into the annex that my daughter is building on her house for the remaining time. Calm, order and predictability.
On the one hand I was loyal but on the other I would call her out for her behaviour when I recognised it which made for heated discussions. Sometimes acting parental would help but the logical adult came more natural to me. Burnout came to a head one year before I left after her destructive risk taking took a new turn. I moved out as a temporary measure but I was astounded how liberating it was, with a little headspace, to realise that I could actually just leave her. I moved back in for Christmas with my kids but by the following March I was gone. My kids are in their 20’s now and things are fine.
Calm, order and predictability sounds just the ticket.
I think in a relationship you should set boundaries liek in my relationship there is zero tolerance for tabusive or manipulative behavior.. I dont' think this even right question for this. I could understand why it's taxing but i just think it's taht way with anyone woh's mentally ill and if you can't handle you shouldn't bein the relationship. It's your job as a partner to support them. Even if you have your own mental health issues too. And it's importnat not to due it to the dettrimenmt of them.
I think, maybe, it also gets mixed up with vulnerable narcissism -- or thought the signs of BPD is taken as a form of vulnerable narcissism instead.
kuze
I'm not diagnosed, but a professional opinion and observations tells me I do fit.
But like any labels I had came across already, I already tried and see how much it actually fits and what references from it would serve me.
Reading about it -- like many autistic accounts, I can't relate to most accounts either.
I can't relate to the fear of being abandoned or extremes of mood (even though I am a moody person myself) or the overall stories about trauma and relationships, things about self image and beliefs, and all the stuff about abuse.
Just like how I can no longer relate to constant anxiety and numerous bouts of psychological triggers or loneliness.
What I'm certain is that it's not 'primary' thing to me and more of an indirect symptom of my own AS.
It is simply executive function and developmental delay -- it is only the emotional dysregulation and occassional reactivity I can relate. And it's something I've been struggling for most of my life.
But I've been gradually progressing well in this area.
And been progressing rapidly well recently, with occassional bouts of improvement too.
Ironically, CPTSD is also very common diagnosis for abuse perpetrators, but it doesn't carry the same stigma. I think because the diagnosis places more emphasis on the fact that the person is a victim of trauma, and that inspires more sympathy, even if they're also abusive.
Incidentally, some studies have found that the exact same case stories can get diagnosed with BPD or CPTSD depending on whether the story mentions behaviour symptoms followed by trauma history (BPD) or trauma history followed by behaviour symptoms (CPTSD), so there seems to be a priming effect on which diagnosis you're likely to get.
CPTSD isn't a diagnose atleast not offically and secondly bpd and cptsd are bascially same thing since most people bpd have ptsd imo anmd regardless cptsd is basically just bpd + ptsd i don't see the point of the diagnosis. but honestly I feel more abuse perpetrators rae ASPD/NPD but ni hvae a huge personal bias there.
You’ll probably find that most of them if not all (when tested by unbiased person) have autism. I may be wrong but just for a second consider that bpd is the end result of unmet needs of Autistics.
But bpd is 100% curable and can be diagnosed in about ten minutes.
This entire post is complete BS imo. Autistic people are more liekly to be abused though.
Ironically, CPTSD is also very common diagnosis for abuse perpetrators, but it doesn't carry the same stigma. I think because the diagnosis places more emphasis on the fact that the person is a victim of trauma, and that inspires more sympathy, even if they're also abusive.
Incidentally, some studies have found that the exact same case stories can get diagnosed with BPD or CPTSD depending on whether the story mentions behaviour symptoms followed by trauma history (BPD) or trauma history followed by behaviour symptoms (CPTSD), so there seems to be a priming effect on which diagnosis you're likely to get.
Extreme emotional instability can ho rribly hurt but in some cases - when a person is willing to cooperate - it can also be managed to some extent.
BPDs, narcissists and C-PTSD victims alike need super-firm boundaries. Weather one is willing to acccept these boundaries (even if maybe struggling with it) is up to the individual, not their disorder.
If not, the only remaining option is establishing such boundaries by leaving.
That's at least a picture consistent with what I've learned from books and lived experience of myself and my family members.
Exactly my point.
You’ll probably find that most of them if not all (when tested by unbiased person) have autism. I may be wrong but just for a second consider that bpd is the end result of unmet needs of Autistics.
But bpd is 100% curable and can be diagnosed in about ten minutes.
Ironically, CPTSD is also very common diagnosis for abuse perpetrators, but it doesn't carry the same stigma. I think because the diagnosis places more emphasis on the fact that the person is a victim of trauma, and that inspires more sympathy, even if they're also abusive.
Incidentally, some studies have found that the exact same case stories can get diagnosed with BPD or CPTSD depending on whether the story mentions behaviour symptoms followed by trauma history (BPD) or trauma history followed by behaviour symptoms (CPTSD), so there seems to be a priming effect on which diagnosis you're likely to get.
Extreme emotional instability can horribly hurt but in some cases - when a person is willing to cooperate - it can also be managed to some extent.
BPDs, narcissists and C-PTSD victims alike need super-firm boundaries. Weather one is willing to acccept these boundaries (even if maybe struggling with it) is up to the individual, not their disorder.
If not, the only remaining option is establishing such boundaries by leaving.
That's at least a picture consistent with what I've learned from books and lived experience of myself and my family members.
Exactly my point.
You’ll probably find that most of them if not all (when tested by unbiased person) have autism. I may be wrong but just for a second consider that bpd is the end result of unmet needs of Autistics.
But bpd is 100% curable and can be diagnosed in about ten minutes.
You can't the only real thing that have developed for it is dbt. which more coping mechanism than it's cure.
You’ll probably find that most of them if not all (when tested by unbiased person) have autism. I may be wrong but just for a second consider that bpd is the end result of unmet needs of Autistics.
But bpd is 100% curable and can be diagnosed in about ten minutes.
Mine is definitely something of an unmet needs alright.
But I had it a bit easier... Because I don't have the same amount of emotional needs.
I grew up emotionally and socially fulfilled -- therefore I don't have an insecure attachment style.
Yet still not well guided about emotions.
Like social skills, I needed explicit reasoning.
But like how NTs can't describe social instincts, they can't explicitly describe or explain the mechanics of emotional regulation.
Narratives of controlling emotions is translated into a form of suppression and facades instead -- which is something I cannot accept.
In truth, there are several missing steps in between whenever one tries to explain.
I had found a mine of references on my own that suited my needs on what? At recent years -- I'm at my 20s myself. Been improving ever since.
I was neglected and abused as a child and got ptsd whjen i 11 or 12. I have a disorganiezd attachment style (thanks mom ) Yeah Iwas forced to repress like everything felt from day 1. and i think that's what alot fo bpd comesfmor or atleast it's contributse to it. I also think another that didin't help was that from hte ages of like idk 11 to 17 i waws unable to feel emotions and it's kinda hard to cope with what you can't feel. I also me being addicted i was constatnly high on endorphins. LOL.
If the psychs understood the amount of time one spends in complete anxiety that ones offspring is going to go and kill herself...
Are they not aware of (a) the suicide rate amongst BPD sufferers, and (b) the importance of timely intervention and treatment tailored to their condition ????
It is so so wrong.
BPD is probably the worst mental ilness to suffer from. Persnoally that's not bad for me but alot of people struggle with it but tbh. Aftermy life and severe ptsd i'm too numb for much suffering to matte rthat much to me Also since i unrepressed my trauma its gotten alot easier to deal with.
There's always bad apples. I don't know i'm always the one being victimized. it seems but I believe in taking accountability. Honestly.I think alot has to with splitting. If you want to be in relationship withsomeone bpd. Expect them to say they hate you. I see how people mistakethat as being abusive. but I don't think so. But on the other hand imagine waht it'sother like side. and someone you love just feels like the enemy. i don't personally i only experience splitting with myself. I Couldn't definitely see people call me abusive. So who am i to say i'm not one of htose people. and I know iv'e been accyused of playuing the victim a number of times. I honestly thyink alot of pepole just shouldn't be in a relationship if they can't handle it. I don't thik it's the fault of either party. But there are defintely poeple with bpd who are abusive. Honestly twitter and reddit rean't plcae id go to find peopel who are of quality stock.
our adult daughter was diagnosed with Borderline 15 years ago. ( at age 21) The understanding of Borderline has evolved since then, just as understanding of autism has.
Daughter has multiple diagnoses. I find it interesting that many recent studies seem to be correlating Borderline with autism, now saying that Borderline in some cases can be autism with maladjustment and that many people are diagnosed with Borderline are actually autistic with survival behaviors which have developed over a period of time.
It used to be thought that Borderline was only present in those who had been horribly abused, but as understanding of both Borderline and Autism is growing, there are questions about whether they are one in the same or a combination of bipolar and autism, etc.
Psychology is in its infancy and much needs to be discovered still.
15 years after her diagnosis, daughter has been working all this time on learning new ways to deal with her struggles and has made amazing progress.
If you have a Borderline diagnosis or know somebody who does, please encourage them to keep trying until they find something that works.
Our early days right after diagnosis were very difficult, but as time has passed and daughter has continued to work at finding the best ways for her to do things, worked with her Psychiatrist to find and adjust meds, etc, to be a self advocate and to be more self aware, she is doing very well.
Not that she does not have struggles, as we all do, but there is hope for all of us if we keep trying to learn about our struggles and are open to learning new ways, trying new meds or therapies, etc etc.
It is not a "take a chill pill and everything is fine" sort of thing.
Reaching out for help and support when we need it is so scary, but please continue to try, there is no reason a person should suffer so horribly when so many alternatives are available today.
It could be towards anything really.
Senses, emotions, situations, thoughts or ideas, actions, beliefs, day to day living... Even existence itself.
In fact this is why the suicidal rates are high -- because that's mostly the real reason for suicide -- the constant, numerous and possibly chronic intolerance of living in a single person. And the person wants out.
A single person with numerous intolerance -- whether internal or external. And intolerances causes triggers of whatever reaction a person ends up.
Press the triggers too often times everyday, for years, and continuously, it'll definitely lead to mental illness.
Stigma be damned.
Society has yet to actually teach humans out of their bad habits with emotions, and yet to teach self reflection and resolution.
idk tbh i've spent entire life waving around flags. takjing on stigma. and It's never been to much of issue but i also don't really care. Yeah peopel who rae under 18 get BPD traits my SO is diagnosed BPD Traits. I'm not techinally diagnosed yet cause i've been waiting liek a f**king year to see a damn psychiatrist.
_________________
ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup or by email at [email protected]
As someone who is in their final academic year of a 2-years Masters degree programme in psychology & who has long had an interest in psychology and who also has a friend who has 'BPD', I will say the following.
- BPD is an often misunderstood disorder. It is also known as 'EUPD' (emotionally unstable personality disorder), which, whilst perhaps a slightly 'provocative' name to those who are emotionally sensitive, seems to me to be more revealing for those who aren't necessarily well versed in psychological terminology.
- BPD or 'EUPD' is often conflated with specific types of presentation of Autistic Spectrum Disorder and sometimes misdiagnosed as such, though the two can be 'co-morbid'.
- cPTSD is often similar to BPD in its presentation, but has key differences, such as cPTSD individuals being more likely to be able to compartmentalize difficult emotions or traumatic memories, whilst BPD individuals are more likely to 'carry them' consciously.
- Emptiness, an unstable self-image, feelings of detachment, occurences of isolated paranoia, dissociation, cognitive distortions and affective dysregulation are all tenets of a BPD presentation.
BPD people can sometimes appear 'psychopathic' in some of their behaviours', and depending on their level of intelligence, may or may not be self regulatory in these behavioural processes. However, in many instances, affective dysregulation, a lack of control of a persons responses to their environment, and a lack of inhibitory, cognitive processes, sometimes contributes towards dangerous or reckless behaviours, rather than necessarily being preceded by malicious intent.
Persons with BPD can be manipulative and in combination with distorted cognitive perceptions, they can be a fascinating case study in my view. (I realize talking about people with BPD as if they are lab rats might be considered 'offensive') - I'm just trying to be transparent here.
Symptom severity of individuals with BPD can vary, within a very short period of time and emotions may appear on the outside to be ephemeral.
Emotional 'outbursts' may seem paroxysmal in nature and often arise unexpectedly.
I think people don't talk much about it, because it is a complicated psychopathology & this is an Autism forum mostly, with only a sub-section for a discussion on this topic.
ProfessorJohn
Veteran
Joined: 26 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,089
Location: The Room at the end of 2001
If the psychs understood the amount of time one spends in complete anxiety that ones offspring is going to go and kill herself...
Are they not aware of (a) the suicide rate amongst BPD sufferers, and (b) the importance of timely intervention and treatment tailored to their condition ????
It is so so wrong.
Is that an Australian thing? Here in the US where they use the DSM-V the only personality disorder which has an age specifier is Antisocial PD, where you have to be at least 18. If you are under 18 you are diagnosed with Conduct Disorder instead.
My 31 year old daughter told me three weeks ago she had a BPD diagnosis.
She has been in and out of hospitals for ten years struggling with drug resistant depression, anxiety, eating disorders and PTSD from sexual assault at work.
Her mother and I thought she might be ASD like her father but she tested not (and in retrospect it makes sense).
I was flabbergasted that I never knew she has BPD. My ex-wife swears she told me, but I'm sure if she had I would have devoured all the learning I could on the subject like the autist I am.
Her behavior now makes so much more sense to me.
You’ll probably find that most of them if not all (when tested by unbiased person) have autism. I may be wrong but just for a second consider that bpd is the end result of unmet needs of Autistics.
But bpd is 100% curable and can be diagnosed in about ten minutes.
I haven't seen any evidence that BPD is curable nor that any mental health issue can be diagnosed in 10 minutes.
kuze
_________________
'I am that which you seek to destroy'
I am not sure if I belong to NPD or BPD. Or I'm in an overlap of the two.
Personality disorders are rarely diagnosed where I live.
I was obviously moody and lacking empathy. I have the will to change, but maybe I've gone too far in my own wrong way.
_________________
With the help of translation software.
Cover your eyes, if you like. It will serve no purpose.
You might expect to be able to crush them in your hand, into wolf-bone fragments.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Borderline Personality Disorder Not Linked to Abnormal |
15 Apr 2024, 7:04 pm |
No personality? |
25 Mar 2024, 1:59 am |
Do not feel like talking |
03 Apr 2024, 1:04 am |
People talking in work |
02 Mar 2024, 4:52 pm |