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IsabellaLinton
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12 Nov 2021, 3:45 pm

I debated posting this in Adult, News, or Sports, but I think it's most important in the Mental Health subforum.

This is an interview with Kyle Beach, former NHL player for the Chicago Blackhawks, who was assaulted, threatened, and controlled by video coach Brad Aldrich during the playoffs season leading to the Blackhawks' 2010 Stanley Cup win.

The Blackhawks denied and covered up Beach's allegations, valuing pursuit of the Stanley Cup over an investigation.

Chicago has now been sued $2M by the NHL for "inadequate procedures and mishandling" of the abuse.

I'm posting this to bring awareness to men's mental health and male victims of sexual assault, as well as all survivors of exploitation, abuse, systemic collusion, and the crippling effects of post-traumatic stress.

I also post in honour of former NHL player Theo Fleury who was sexually abused and threatened by coach Graham James, and other boys or men who have experienced the same manipulation whether in sports, or from any other experience.


Content Warning:
This video in this article is very emotional and discusses Kyle's sexual assault, trauma, and recovery.

Kyle Beach is a hero.

https://www.tsn.ca/kyle-beach-john-doe- ... uvosQsPkBE

TSN: Kyle Beach PTSD


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traven
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04 Dec 2021, 2:52 am

i found this
interesting ..and the commentsection too, see how that devellopes
a unsure crosscase of (so far) narcissism, schizophrenia and/or autism

(interestingly like me at a total different age, delusional romantic)

the combined chains of hormones &
an universal desire to travel to another place/life

“I saw in their eyes something I was to see over and over in every part of the nation- a burning desire to go, to move, to get under way, anyplace, away from any Here. They spoke quietly of how they wanted to go someday, to move about, free and unanchored, not toward something but away from something. I saw this look and heard this yearning everywhere in every states I visited. Nearly every American hungers to move.”

“I suppose our capacity for self-delusion is boundless.”

― John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley: In Search of America



IsabellaLinton
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05 Dec 2021, 2:10 am

Wow - thanks traven.

It's really sad how he was manipulated at least in the early stages by his lust for a fake woman. I've seen that happen before where men are led around by the balls essentially, following cyber women who don't even exist. There are so many pictures of beautiful women online that it's easy for scammers to invent a persona and ruin men's lives. Of course to the extent that he was willing to travel the globe and carry goods for this woman - that's on him, especially given the fact he was warned by friends not to trust this bathing beauty.


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traven
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05 Dec 2021, 3:08 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Wow - thanks traven.

It's really sad how he was manipulated at least in the early stages by his lust for a fake woman. I've seen that happen before where men are led around by the balls essentially, following cyber women who don't even exist. There are so many pictures of beautiful women online that it's easy for scammers to invent a persona and ruin men's lives. Of course to the extent that he was willing to travel the globe and carry goods for this woman - that's on him, especially given the fact he was warned by friends not to trust this bathing beauty.


thanks, :flower:



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07 Dec 2021, 5:22 pm

I rarely come to this sub-forum; in fact, I think it's only been once. I started a thread here on July 14th that still hasn't been responded to - so I looked for other, more well travelled sub-forums. That said, it seems sad that the only contributors to a thread, specifically about men's mental health issues, thus far have been women. Thanks Isabella for posting and traven for your contributions as well.

If there are any guys out there who too high, too fly, or too shy to be the first man in this thread to talk about it, let me break the ice. Sexual assault began for me in infancy, leading to D.I.D. My initial abuser was my mother, and then a few years later, my pediatrician joined the club. My mother found new victims soon after I turned five years old, and left me alone. There were two others by the time I was thirteen. My adult sexuality didn't include the idea that I was allowed to have boundaries because...why would I? As a result, even my sexual relationships with people of my choosing were unhealthy, though, of course, significantly less so. I have also been the victim of domestic violence but there are precious few resources out there for male victims. Even the domestic violence hub in the city I was in wouldn't let me in the building to talk to someone because my existence will make the women uncomfortable.

So yeah, in addition to the autism there is sexual assault, complex PTSD, combat PTSD, D.I.D., anxiety disorder...

You're not alone.



kraftiekortie
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07 Dec 2021, 5:27 pm

I was sexually assaulted when I was 18. I was an adult, but still a child in my mind.

He gave me marijuana----that was the only time I "inhaled." I willingly went to the guy's house. The marijuana had no effect on me because I only inhaled once; this caused a coughing spasm which turned me off to further inhalations. Why I went to his house? I trusted that he wouldn't do anything harmful to me.

He threw me on a bed, and humped me clothed. He kept me stuck there for a few minutes. I'm glad I managed to escape.

Another time, he pushed me to the door of an apartment building, and also dry-humped me.



blitzkrieg
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08 Dec 2021, 11:14 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I debated posting this in Adult, News, or Sports, but I think it's most important in the Mental Health subforum.

This is an interview with Kyle Beach, former NHL player for the Chicago Blackhawks, who was assaulted, threatened, and controlled by video coach Brad Aldrich during the playoffs season leading to the Blackhawks' 2010 Stanley Cup win.

The Blackhawks denied and covered up Beach's allegations, valuing pursuit of the Stanley Cup over an investigation.

Chicago has now been sued $2M by the NHL for "inadequate procedures and mishandling" of the abuse.

I'm posting this to bring awareness to men's mental health and male victims of sexual assault, as well as all survivors of exploitation, abuse, systemic collusion, and the crippling effects of post-traumatic stress.

I also post in honour of former NHL player Theo Fleury who was sexually abused and threatened by coach Graham James, and other boys or men who have experienced the same manipulation whether in sports, or from any other experience.


Content Warning:
This video in this article is very emotional and discusses Kyle's sexual assault, trauma, and recovery.

Kyle Beach is a hero.

https://www.tsn.ca/kyle-beach-john-doe- ... uvosQsPkBE

TSN: Kyle Beach PTSD


It happens to guys, and society basically says you can't talk about it, and if you do you generally are not believed, because of toxic stereotypes that are often built up by some feminists.

If you are angry about something because of emotions - you are told you are the bully, even if you are venting to keep your sanity.

If you are wired because of anxiety because of PTSD, you are told you are crazy by gaslighters.

I've been in a few situations with both guys & girls in the past where they have unsuccessfully or successfully 'taken advantage' and it has seriously damaged my mental health.

Then you get blamed for being damaged, because you are a guy - and as a guy, you are inherently a terrible person.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Dec 2021, 1:35 pm

There you go....nobody has responded to what I shared two responses ago.....it's okay, though. Nobody is truly obligated to respond. It wasn't as big a deal as what has happened to many other people. I mean all that sincerely...I'm not trying to be ironic.

Fortunately, I've gotten over the trauma of those moments, and moved on from there. It's possible that I'm lucky, rather than strong :)

I believe this sort of thing has happened to a large percentage of people----of whatever gender. Most people, I feel, just shove it off to the side so they don't have to remember it. I did that, in a way.

I would say this sort of thing was RAMPANT until modern days, when people decided that this will not be tolerated any longer.

People often wax nostalgic about the "old days." My father was right: the "good old days" actually sucked for many.



kraftiekortie
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08 Dec 2021, 2:42 pm

Fleury revealed his abuser in a book. The accuser was arrested, and he plead guilty. He was sentenced to two years in prison.



The_Znof
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08 Dec 2021, 4:22 pm

Fleury was one hell of a hockey player, and not just for a short guy on drugs.


kraftiekortie wrote:
I was sexually assaulted when I was 18. I was an adult, but still a child in my mind.

He gave me marijuana----that was the only time I "inhaled." I willingly went to the guy's house. The marijuana had no effect on me because I only inhaled once; this caused a coughing spasm which turned me off to further inhalations. Why I went to his house? I trusted that he wouldn't do anything harmful to me.

He threw me on a bed, and humped me clothed. He kept me stuck there for a few minutes. I'm glad I managed to escape.

Another time, he pushed me to the door of an apartment building, and also dry-humped me.


I had about a half dozen similar experiences in my late teens and early twenties. Maybe two were as bad as yours.

All the humping and wiener grabbing was tad disturbing, but I could take it , however what really drove me nuts was the fact I couldn't get near a girl, but had to beat dudes away with a stick.



blitzkrieg
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09 Dec 2021, 6:17 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
There you go....nobody has responded to what I shared two responses ago.....it's okay, though. Nobody is truly obligated to respond. It wasn't as big a deal as what has happened to many other people. I mean all that sincerely...I'm not trying to be ironic.

Fortunately, I've gotten over the trauma of those moments, and moved on from there. It's possible that I'm lucky, rather than strong :)

I believe this sort of thing has happened to a large percentage of people----of whatever gender. Most people, I feel, just shove it off to the side so they don't have to remember it. I did that, in a way.

I would say this sort of thing was RAMPANT until modern days, when people decided that this will not be tolerated any longer.

People often wax nostalgic about the "old days." My father was right: the "good old days" actually sucked for many.


It seems to happen to women more, statistically, but there are a lot of unaccounted cases of male rape because men are intimidated into silence by socially skilled women & are not believed because of toxic stereotypes of masculinity.


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IsabellaLinton
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09 Dec 2021, 6:33 pm

Cases of woman-woman or woman-girl rape are underreported as well.

Everyone talks about toxic masculinity, and the negative effect it has on men.

How can we help to address the fact that most men don't have the mental health support they need, and deserve?


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blitzkrieg
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09 Dec 2021, 6:56 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Cases of woman-woman or woman-girl rape are underreported as well.

Everyone talks about toxic masculinity, and the negative effect it has on men.

How can we help to address the fact that most men don't have the mental health support they need, and deserve?


Yes, female on female rape is a thing, as is male on male rape.

I think there needs to be a societal shift in how men are portrayed in society and feminists need to accept that men are victims in various ways just as they are. And it is all a matter of perspective, based on what your personal beliefs & lived experiences are.

I don't like seeing men in Calvin Klein with muscly bodies on television. Nor women in scantily clad bikinis, or even naked if I don't know them.

If I ever watch porn, I imagine the person in the video being someone I care about. There is zero emotional connection to a stranger, for me. And I am not emotionally connected to many people, so it's quite sad, really.

I joke about having a muscly body myself, but I wouldn't actually want one of those physically.

My idea of heaven is someone feeling comfortable to share their real selves with me. Women without makeup, but who are willing to put it on on special occasions is nice, but not necessary.

If they are a man in a woman's body, and I am a woman in a man's body, it is technically 'straight' sex.


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blitzkrieg
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17 Dec 2021, 5:35 am

Gang rapes by women are not unheard of. During high school, I had my butt grabbed a few times. It wasn't scary in any way but it does happen to men. Many women view men as sex toys & also walking wallets. If that's how you are - good for you. Just don't pretend it doesn't happen.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3071749/Man-raped-gunpoint-THREE-women-collect-semen-cooler-box-steal-South-Africa.html


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AngelL
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17 Dec 2021, 9:08 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Everyone talks about toxic masculinity, and the negative effect it has on men.


This brings up a good point - well, at least I think so. :) In my opinion, every inequality cuts both ways. For instance, a society that holds the belief that women are too emotional to become a head of state will also hold the belief that men need to be in control of their emotions. Both positions are oppressive and so, until the inequality is rectified, the entire society remains oppressed.



blitzkrieg
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17 Dec 2021, 9:20 am

AngelL wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Everyone talks about toxic masculinity, and the negative effect it has on men.


This brings up a good point - well, at least I think so. :) In my opinion, every inequality cuts both ways. For instance, a society that holds the belief that women are too emotional to become a head of state will also hold the belief that men need to be in control of their emotions. Both positions are oppressive and so, until the inequality is rectified, the entire society remains oppressed.


Exactly.

People need to practice what they preach. If a person believes in gender fluidity - they can't then turn around & say "men are all bad" or "men don't have emotions" or whatever. If they do, they're just being.. wrong. Or specifically target a disgreeable biological male & say they are specifically bad and that they are some kind of monster, whether true or not.

It doesn't make sense.


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