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BreathlessJade
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 25 Aug 2022
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 385
Location: Cali

09 Sep 2022, 3:21 pm

Well, I'll share this as my answer.
Yesterday at Costco/work I saw maybe the most touching thing:
2 brothers, 1 looked 16ish with somewhat of a severe case of autism. Older brother young adult. That brother held his hand, hugged, held face, kissed forehead, praised, and just plain protected his brother. All that was missing was soft music. It was absolutely the greatest thing I've seen in years. And it wasn't like big brother was just helping, it was a bond. I was speechless. I don't assume to know all the younger brother has to go through, its probably very difficult, but I'm honestly jealous of that kind of bond. My family loves through works of service. Besides my mother, its very cold and very little awkward affection. What I saw was the purest form of brotherly intimacy. If I'm lonely for any reason, that's it right there. I even wondered if there is a program to get paired with a "mentor" who gives that warm attention...in a perfect world, right :|



BreathlessJade
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 25 Aug 2022
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 385
Location: Cali

07 Oct 2022, 10:00 pm

I have loneliness, but it's been easier to live with learning more and more about my autism. Before, my loneliness was a huge mystery. My Social interactions left me a wreck. now i know why and it's giving me peace to deal with it. I take care of myself better because i know my limits and can set boundaries with others.
i think i will always be alone (at home) but there's hope connecting with people i can trust.



turtle_hikes
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 2 Oct 2022
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2

12 Oct 2022, 12:40 pm

:mrgreen: "Well, maybe for you, but for me, loneliness is not a good lifestyle for me.

I really, REALLY want to find someone special in my life to share with, but such a person I'm seeking is very NEARLY impossible to find. :(

Even though I do have my family, but without a "special someone", I just feel like a little fish in a big pond."


I hear you. For me I can't imagine being happy if I'm alone my whole life and so far I have been. I have one friend several states away but we don't get to talk as much as I'd like and I need an in-person friend.
Sometimes I think oh I should find intrinsic value in myself that's not dependent on whether anyone else out there is finding value in me in a way that I can feel. My reality though is that I feel worthless because others are not reflecting to me that Im worth anything. My feelings and thoughts do not match up because I think I do have a lot of love and helpful skills to offer in friendships or a romantic relationship, but at the end of the day how I feel is what's the most real and affecting me. The chronic loneliness feels like it's killing me.



Earthbound_Alien
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Joined: 30 Jul 2017
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18 Oct 2022, 12:28 pm

no, I want to go home back to college



BreathlessJade
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 25 Aug 2022
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 385
Location: Cali

20 Oct 2022, 11:09 am

I feel lonely but I love solitude so its sort of a bittersweet. I guess I'm lonely for moments of connection in incraments. Love me then go away :lol: :lol:



kmb501
Blue Jay
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Joined: 1 Jun 2015
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Posts: 98
Location: Texas

21 Oct 2022, 8:41 am

I'm not sure. I think I feel inadequate and incompetent, but not really lonely. I do believe that most people are looking for what I don't have, though.



saimand
Raven
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Joined: 23 Jun 2013
Age: 30
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Posts: 100
Location: Zagreb

30 Oct 2022, 12:15 pm

I wish someone cared, cared fir how I lived not just if I died.


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RenegadeWanderer
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 23 Oct 2022
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: United States Of America

07 Nov 2022, 3:44 am

Yeah I've had days where I feel alone and unwanted, and then there's some days where I'm alone and feel content, even if it's in the public. I'm not sure if it's just unconscious social masking or what, but it's a weird combination that I can't explain.



auntblabby
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07 Nov 2022, 4:30 am

a lifesaving sense of perspective, hard won experience, saved my life. i determined my only choices in this lifetime were non-congenial company, or solitude. i had to choose solitude. there is nothing more unpleasant than enforced proximity to others who are totally non-compatible with one.



Jakki
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Joined: 21 Sep 2019
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24 Nov 2022, 3:16 am

Not hardly ever these days , after enough years have passed and see the way many many folks treat each other
In real life … real and up close . And then the casual attitudes of those seeing this behaviour . 8O
Has cured me of the issues of loneliness . Last few friends both passed on early :( . Am superficially trying to find
New friends . (No Masking or minimal needed types Nowadays) ,it’s seems you just cannot be too careful. IMHO.
[ desperate times can create desperate people] :skull:


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Jakki
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30 Nov 2022, 10:30 am

Oh Gosh … It’s the holidays again ….It’s practically programmed into the masses to feel lonely . Christmas ,
New Years and the like . It’s all about the family … but what if your family has child abusers and murderers in it .
Not exaggerating , this is real life situations . That I am aware of and have experienced first hand at these peoples hands . So Lonilyness is almost a expected situation when it comes to family . In my case. But Autism has kinda prepped me for it over a lifetime. So the Effect is minimized , I feel at this time . And ran into so many people whom think I am an easy target in real life . Have considered that family is whatever you build for yourself in life.
Be it your Pets , be it friends . Whatever floats one’s boat to get through this season .
BUT , it is the season , so please beware to care for your own mental health as best as you can . :heart:


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are