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Crystal1414
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 25 Aug 2020
Posts: 318
Location: Canada

27 Mar 2023, 1:27 am

I see the world differently. I have since I was a kid. I don't know if it's because of autism or not. I have visions and deja Vu. I have a strong connection to certain things that I don't really know about. I have intense emotions because of these things. I've had dreams and then later been to places that were the place in them. I have a presence in my dreams as well. I think they're trying to protect me. Then I have a mean presence that doesn't like me. They've talked to me and I've seen them.

People always tell me that this stuff doesn't exist. But they don't understand that I have presences that are around me. They are in my dreams and they help me lucid dream. The mean lady doesn't help. My perception changes. Also nobody gets it but like it's not normal for me to be paranoid and I know it too. I think what the lady has said in my dreams has influenced that. The last time she was in my dreams she just started getting mad at me and reinforced my anxiety about appointments. She seemed like a caring psychologist and then started getting angry and wouldn't let me defend myself.

But the good presence in my dreams tells me I'm dreaming. Lately I've been having the opposite of that. Something is trying to keep me in my dreams. I always am told I'm not dreaming in those dreams.i just have a perception of the world that makes me more vulnerable. I know it's not psychosis because it seems to happen all the time regardless of medication. So it's a bit pointless to go to appointments. I like to talk about my feelings sometimes though. It's a bit scary though and I can't talk about this. I can talk about my emotions though.

I just think I don't fully belong. I get shut down when I talk about my stuff. I'm trying to get people to understand. I've just been feeling sad lately. I'm very articulate in my thoughts but because I struggle with communication it doesn't get across.People can react weird. I don't see why. I'm not harming them. It makes me feel sad and left out. Lately it's been bad because I've realized that my view is not accepted and that I am not doing anything.

I should get a job. I've been told that. But like people seem to accept that I don't have one. I don't even understand what's stopping me. My hygiene is ok. People seem to have given up trying to get me to take care of it. I do a good job sometimes. It's just not easy when I don't feel motivated. I'm not motivated to do things. It's because I have my own way of doing things and I don't like being forced to change. I just feel like I don't know how to be understood.



martian_gondolier
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 28 Mar 2023
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
Location: Austin, TX

28 Mar 2023, 6:55 pm

Thank you so much for posting this! It's probably more than just autism that has led you to be so unconventional in how you interface with reality, and if you're like me you might have some cocktail of comorbidities. I was just having deja vu in responding to a post a few moments ago. And yes, sometimes I'm able to make accurate predictions. Or do you ever think about a person or place and then see something related? Like them. Or a thing you associate with them. I have this idea based on signs I've been seeing that I'm going to meet someone soon. A twin of some type, but maybe in a sort of mirrored or recomposed sort of way.

Do you write? Please write things. Call them fiction, whether they are or not. If you tell people it's fiction they won't look at you quite so funny. Have you heard of "blind-sight"? You might have some of that. I think that maybe it's information from another dimension that we can "see" but that we're not consciously aware of. Like a Korsakoff-type amnesia of other places and times.

The brain has this interesting ability to spontaneously create entire realities, including very detailed and convincing things. When you see and hear other presences, are you aware that other people can't see and hear them while you're having the experience, or does the scene (or things in the scene) take on a different sort of quality? These things obviously exist. The question is where they're coming from. If only you experience them that would suggest they're coming from your brain, but what does that really mean? Who really are we?

Have you found that you have the ability to control the power of these different influences? Can you use them to your advantage? Do you ever learn things from them that it would be impossible for you to know otherwise? Do they remind you of people in your everyday waking life?

I don't think you're weird. Either that or being weird isn't a bad thing. These things are often semantic. I'd love to hear more about your characters. Maybe you can find ways to distance yourself from the bad ones and embrace the lessons of the good ones?



Crystal1414
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 25 Aug 2020
Posts: 318
Location: Canada

28 Mar 2023, 11:10 pm

martian_gondolier wrote:
Thank you so much for posting this! It's probably more than just autism that has led you to be so unconventional in how you interface with reality, and if you're like me you might have some cocktail of comorbidities. I was just having deja vu in responding to a post a few moments ago. And yes, sometimes I'm able to make accurate predictions. Or do you ever think about a person or place and then see something related? Like them. Or a thing you associate with them. I have this idea based on signs I've been seeing that I'm going to meet someone soon. A twin of some type, but maybe in a sort of mirrored or recomposed sort of way.

Do you write? Please write things. Call them fiction, whether they are or not. If you tell people it's fiction they won't look at you quite so funny. Have you heard of "blind-sight"? You might have some of that. I think that maybe it's information from another dimension that we can "see" but that we're not consciously aware of. Like a Korsakoff-type amnesia of other places and times.

The brain has this interesting ability to spontaneously create entire realities, including very detailed and convincing things. When you see and hear other presences, are you aware that other people can't see and hear them while you're having the experience, or does the scene (or things in the scene) take on a different sort of quality? These things obviously exist. The question is where they're coming from. If only you experience them that would suggest they're coming from your brain, but what does that really mean? Who really are we?

Have you found that you have the ability to control the power of these different influences? Can you use them to your advantage? Do you ever learn things from them that it would be impossible for you to know otherwise? Do they remind you of people in your everyday waking life?

I don't think you're weird. Either that or being weird isn't a bad thing. These things are often semantic. I'd love to hear more about your characters. Maybe you can find ways to distance yourself from the bad ones and embrace the lessons of the good ones?


Yeah. I've been seeing a psychiatrist. I've had dreams about people and then seen them. I've also had feelings about people, like sometimes I'll know their name or I'll know that they are going to talk to me. I end up in weird situations sometimes because of this. I get strong gut feelings that I sometimes ignore.

I like writing. I have not heard of blind sight before. That sounds like something I experience.

I'm never sure if other people can hear or see it. It just is not something I think about. The scene takes on a completely different quality. Well once I was in a completely different room with a lot of people talking and then I closed my eyes and it went away. I started spinning afterwards. It was scary because they wanted to jab me with a needle.

Yes. I can sometimes control it. I learn of places. I've been having vivid dreams lately. The man returned to my dream. He's nice. He tells me I'm dreaming and takes my hand. It's always when I'm looking at all these cool books I've never seen or heard of before. My dreams are all in the same places. It reminds me of my waking life a bit. I've had dreams that parallel it but with different decades and places.

Thank you. Yeah. I hope to not focus on the negative characters and learn from the good ones.