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funeralxempire
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16 Sep 2024, 4:37 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Sometimes, I wish there's a substance for me to become like another person.

Could be alcohol, marijuana, nicotine, certain medications... Even something like coffee -- which doesn't, though. :?

Those... 'Tools'... Are not readily available nor helpful for me.


I find both alcohol and marijuana make it easier to be around other people, but I don't think they make me more like other people.


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16 Sep 2024, 4:45 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

I find both alcohol and marijuana make it easier to be around other people, but I don't think they make me more like other people.


I find cannabis can munt (sic - I love that verb) hyperfocus and switch me to shotgun thinking.
This seems a little closer to NT thought patterns to me.
On the other hand... Being stoned makes it easiest to fit in with stoners.



funeralxempire
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16 Sep 2024, 4:54 pm

Carbonhalo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

I find both alcohol and marijuana make it easier to be around other people, but I don't think they make me more like other people.


I find cannabis can munt (sic - I love that verb) hyperfocus and switch me to shotgun thinking.


I assume that word means something different down under.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/munting


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Carbonhalo
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16 Sep 2024, 5:20 pm

2004?
Munted downunder means either "broken" or "pissed blind".

adjective: munted

1.
informal•British
under the influence or alcohol or drugs.
"they have constant issues with drivers turning up munted"
2.
informal•New Zealand
badly damaged; ruined.
"work to remove the munted footbridge—an icon of the Canterbury earthquakes—is to begin this week"

Origin
1990s: of unknown origin.



Edna3362
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16 Sep 2024, 11:01 pm

I also don't have substances that makes things easier to cope with.

Most of which I can have long term -- it's acute each time, and it's short term at best.

Like eating chocolate -- but no different than eating those crunchy snacks.
But those are expensive and not very healthy, and sometimes for the wrong reasons.

Or something like playing certain games or entertainment.
But those are very time consuming and potentially makes me stuck or overwhelming.


But did that makes me more alert?
More awake? More reliable? More relatable? More stable? More confident? More creative?
Faster, stronger, smarter?

Anything that will make functioning easier past fulfilling 'basic needs'?

Anything that gets the job done?
Anything I can rely on to make me on top of everything for consistent performance?

Anything that will help me compensate for things I naturally couldn't?


No. :(


Closest thing I'd get is a dry box in my room.

Ain't a consumption (nor something I have to consume), but it's more reliable than antihistamines and nasal spray which is both an uncertain hit-miss 50-50 with a chance of cognitive side effects (brain fog).
Sometimes it's not enough at certain weathers because storms happens frequently here.

And that's... Barely basic need; to be able to literally breathe better at night.


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17 Sep 2024, 6:52 am

Life's never over until it's truly over


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17 Sep 2024, 8:14 am

Because of my chronic illness (ME/CFS or chronic fatigue syndrome) which has me feeling exhausted literally all of the time, drinking alcohol or smoking weed just make me feel worse, more tired, so I generally avoid them. On occasion I will have one beer when I go out somewhere with my boyfriend, thinking it will make me feel looser and more talkative, and it does have that effect a little bit, but mostly it's best for me to avoid it. I also have a prescription for marijuana gummies but they too just make me feel worse, but sometimes I still take them when I am home alone and feeling especially anxious, but I often regret it.



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17 Sep 2024, 11:12 am

I don't like gummies

I now have every reason to believe that my therapist is being genuinely kind towards me. I'm kind of using the opportunity as a lesson for me to learn to trust a person. To kind of feel that vulnerability with a person...I've not told him this of course

I've only got one more session anyway so it's happened at the right time


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18 Sep 2024, 4:25 pm

It's just going to be me and the alien again soon

She's enjoyed going to see our T telling him about all the new things we've been doing


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18 Sep 2024, 11:20 pm

bee33 wrote:
Because of my chronic illness (ME/CFS or chronic fatigue syndrome) which has me feeling exhausted literally all of the time, drinking alcohol or smoking weed just make me feel worse, more tired, so I generally avoid them. On occasion I will have one beer when I go out somewhere with my boyfriend, thinking it will make me feel looser and more talkative, and it does have that effect a little bit, but mostly it's best for me to avoid it. I also have a prescription for marijuana gummies but they too just make me feel worse, but sometimes I still take them when I am home alone and feeling especially anxious, but I often regret it.


Have been around the fringes of that Mary Jane sales ....It is quite important , i have been told and learned that
the strain of Pot is important ,And quality . Understand that various dispensaries will carry different brands , And strengths. Sativa = daytime use....Indica= Nightime ( nerve tonic). Noting THC percentages are important .
And Less learned people on the topic might suggest Hybrid strain.Some of which were described to me as fun .
Buyer beware .. also have a friend , who worked selling the stuff .


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20 Sep 2024, 6:16 am

I am a hypochondriac. The idea of cancer really scares me and think this is because I watched my grandfather pass away from it when I was 9. I am scared of dying. I watched my aunt pass away in front me on the hospital bed (not peacefully) and I think a part of that left a scar that never went way. I also saw my Pastor before he passed away in the hospital as well. Definitely some things I need to work on and I think there might be some trauma I need help with.


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20 Sep 2024, 3:18 pm

Older ex- bf ...suggested to me , about the japanese anology about life / existence .
Went like a observation of the Cherry blossom tree . Blossoms only come for season , no more , no less .
Then they fall to the ground and blossoms become part of the soil around the tree, helping to fertilize the ground for the next seasons cherryblossoms .
Those people come into ones life ,but only for a season, and you may enjoy their existence for that season .
( seemed to me that this was revolent to most all life forms). Written with a supportive intent


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21 Sep 2024, 5:12 pm

I can see now how I've been in a kind of dysfunctional relationship with myself/s for decades

I don't know if I wanna find the bullet that caused the damage

Maybe some things are just best left alone


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Jakki
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21 Sep 2024, 10:57 pm

Grandma used to tell me that , when the person is ready ...Things reveal themselves in their own time ...


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Edna3362
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30 Sep 2024, 9:45 pm

I can very much understand this phrase;

Quote:
"Where your fear is
There is your task"

And it doesn't just mean the overly obvious and visible to the conscious ones, but also the subtle and hidden ones.


That's the thing; most of my roadblocks at at the latter.

It can look like I'm doing nothing.
But I'm consciously pursuing internal shadows and fears.


Oh, sure, one can just do something behaviorally and 'be brave', or get expose to things...

But if fear hadn't been able to transcend throughout the experience and action, I won't consider it a progress.

:? Really, anyone can behaviorally look like they're fearless successful people.
Yet deep down still feel very anxious inside -- they just can afford to carry it all and cope.

... And I hate having have to cope.
Not out of fear, but convenience.

How coping can be so helpful in short term, but really deceptive in long term. Eating up all the time and energy to hold onto it all because it's "familiar". :roll:

That's not how one transcends fear.
And it does not encourage change and growth further than the first few stages.


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Jakki
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01 Oct 2024, 2:07 pm

Exposure therapy...? had a brand new male therapist whom I initially, first appt. told this younger middle aged..
very trim tall looking individual/ psyche doctor at this new clinic ..that I did not wish to do exposure therapy .
His response , that his office did not want me for a patient ..Had prepaid this appt..? grrr... :evil: ....
What the ...? Did a good job of getting me off of going to therapist anymore.....So been doing my own thing....
And now am spending that time and money towards much better pursuits..like following up on my hobbies, to get my mind off of intrusive thoughts , and has caused me to realize , how important that is to free your mind from repetitive
trauma reliving .. Even catch myself most times now , before my response gets too severe ...
Almost helped me understand why some alkies get to the point of using liqour as a escape..But that will take years off you too.. just like stress does....
Weird Anology follows: if you sprain or hurt your leg, you allow it time to recover..like a rehab for your leg..be gentle until it gets better...But it seems only the uber wealthy get those opportunities for strains and bruises that happen to the mind . ( ie. psyche hospitals for concierge service for the wealthy..Whereas we the people , whom are the actual real people enduring societal mishaps that really need it are left out . How do you heal the mind,if NO allowances for recovery at the time of injury. Allowing the more subtle wounds to heal. Then you might be able to engage life like a semi- normal person might ?


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