Page 1 of 3 [ 45 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

iheartmegahitt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!

25 May 2011, 5:56 pm

nostromo wrote:
Are you happy, or do you find the way you are is frustrating and wish you were more capable at things? Can you drive? Do you have friends? Feel free to ignore my nosey questions if you dont want to answer, I just have a four year old who sounds like he might be how,you describe yourself as a child, and I wonder a lot about what the future holds for us.


I can't drive, actually, because of the severity of my mental state... prevents it from even happening... just like getting a job or going to college. But yes, I do want to be more capable... if you read my other thread called, "I don't really understand myself...." there are more details there, especially my last post. I mean yeah I am happy, I have great friends online that I trust and a boyfriend but its offline where things get even harder for me.


_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

25 May 2011, 8:48 pm

iheartmegahitt wrote:
The only reason I write really well is because its the only way I can express myself. I can't even walk up to my parents and say what is wrong. But if I write it down than I can express myself easier. I can't answer complex or abstract questions or I will just sit there with a blank stare. I know its not an anxiety issue. It's much more complex than that. I just don't know any other way to explain it.

I did have a job once through a life skills program and I almost had a nervous break down. They were telling me to go faster but I couldn't go faster. I have shoulder problems and plus all this tension is hard for me... the reason I can't hold a job is because I can't handle being told to do more than one thing at a time. Every little thing because a bigger deal and at times my brain will go into a big lockdown and I won't even know what to do or how to even work normally.
Like I said, its more complex than you think. The issues that I have yet to figure it. It's not all anxiety either and its something I'm sure I can even handle.

I do have a autism because I have a hard time dealing with sound and touch, as well as a lack of social interaction and consantly living in the same routine. I also have trouble with expressing my emotions and sometimes my needs to my parents. I didn't start talking until I was about four or five and even after I had trouble with speaking. Writing was the only way I could get better at learning how to speak but even then... I still had trouble expressing myself even now its harder for me to express myself verbally.

But I act child-like. At times I even feel like I don't belong on the body of a 22 year old. I feel more like an eight year old girl who still has severe comfort and trust issues. In my mind I am an eight year old but my real age is 22 and its the hardest thing of all. I just don't act like my age is right for me. Sometimes I wish I could say that I was eight but people wouldn't believe me because my birth date says I am 22.


Well your writing skills are far higher then even a super intelligent 8 year old would be able to pull off....as for what you said about communication I am much better at expressing myself in writing then I am verbally. But I thought issues with verbal communication would be more autism related.....it seems like your reasoning, comprehension and such is there but verbally expressing it is difficult. I can also relate to the whole working too slow thing and getting overwhelmed by multiple verbal instructions at once. So I don't know to me it seems like you are describing the same sort of processing difficulties lots of people with aspergers or autism have.



iheartmegahitt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!

25 May 2011, 8:52 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
iheartmegahitt wrote:
The only reason I write really well is because its the only way I can express myself. I can't even walk up to my parents and say what is wrong. But if I write it down than I can express myself easier. I can't answer complex or abstract questions or I will just sit there with a blank stare. I know its not an anxiety issue. It's much more complex than that. I just don't know any other way to explain it.

I did have a job once through a life skills program and I almost had a nervous break down. They were telling me to go faster but I couldn't go faster. I have shoulder problems and plus all this tension is hard for me... the reason I can't hold a job is because I can't handle being told to do more than one thing at a time. Every little thing because a bigger deal and at times my brain will go into a big lockdown and I won't even know what to do or how to even work normally.
Like I said, its more complex than you think. The issues that I have yet to figure it. It's not all anxiety either and its something I'm sure I can even handle.

I do have a autism because I have a hard time dealing with sound and touch, as well as a lack of social interaction and consantly living in the same routine. I also have trouble with expressing my emotions and sometimes my needs to my parents. I didn't start talking until I was about four or five and even after I had trouble with speaking. Writing was the only way I could get better at learning how to speak but even then... I still had trouble expressing myself even now its harder for me to express myself verbally.

But I act child-like. At times I even feel like I don't belong on the body of a 22 year old. I feel more like an eight year old girl who still has severe comfort and trust issues. In my mind I am an eight year old but my real age is 22 and its the hardest thing of all. I just don't act like my age is right for me. Sometimes I wish I could say that I was eight but people wouldn't believe me because my birth date says I am 22.


Well your writing skills are far higher then even a super intelligent 8 year old would be able to pull off....as for what you said about communication I am much better at expressing myself in writing then I am verbally. But I thought issues with verbal communication would be more autism related.....it seems like your reasoning, comprehension and such is there but verbally expressing it is difficult. I can also relate to the whole working too slow thing and getting overwhelmed by multiple verbal instructions at once. So I don't know to me it seems like you are describing the same sort of processing difficulties lots of people with aspergers or autism have.


But that's why people always tell me that my writing is a gift. It's more superior to the challenges I face on a daily basis. I do have terrible reading comprehension, like for example, if you told me to read say... Charlotte's Web and then asked me what the book was about, I wouldn't be able to tell you nor could I even write down what the book was about.

As for writing, the only issue is if you told me to write you a story about a little girl discovering a magical world of rainbows and unicorns and candy... then its out of the question. I couldn't even do current events because of this difficulty. Yet, I can write freestyle or on my own, just not what people tell me to write. It becomes more of a challenge because my mind can process it and then put onto paper.


_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive


Roman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,298

25 May 2011, 10:23 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Honestly to me that sounds like it could possibly be an anxiety problem.....I mean I don't know much about mental retardation, but I was under the impression that it sort of means someone remains in a child-like state for their entire life meaning they would not really be able to veiw themselves objectivly and realise that not wanting to leave home with parents for instance is weird at the age of 22 not to mention they would probably type like a child as well. but I am no expert in psychology so if you really want to figure out what issues you might have i would look into getting a proper diagnosis.


Actually this is not a correct description of mental retardation. It is entirely possible to be EMOTIONALLY like a child (having fits about stuff, being afraid to be without parents) while at the same time being quite intelligent (both in terms of high IQ as well as in terms of ability to DO stuff). Also the opposite is possible: one can be an adult, thinking of oneself as an adult, and yet be completely incapacitated, have very low IQ, and not being able to function without outside help.

Mental retardation is about lack of skills as opposed to being a child emotionally. The diagnosis is determined based on IQ alone (you are "mentally ret*d" if and only if your IQ is below 70). Now, of course, IQ might not be the accurate measure for the performance, so perhaps it might be worth considering of replacing IQ with some other criteria. But still, the point remains: you are looking for LACK OF SKILL, as opposed to "childhood mentality".



Roman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,298

25 May 2011, 10:27 pm

iheartmegahitt wrote:
I did have a job once through a life skills program and I almost had a nervous break down. They were telling me to go faster but I couldn't go faster. I have shoulder problems and plus all this tension is hard for me... the reason I can't hold a job is because I can't handle being told to do more than one thing at a time. Every little thing because a bigger deal and at times my brain will go into a big lockdown and I won't even know what to do or how to even work normally.


How about you go to college instead. Then you can do your homework at home, at your own pace, without being told to do "several things at the same time".



iheartmegahitt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!

25 May 2011, 11:44 pm

Roman wrote:
How about you go to college instead. Then you can do your homework at home, at your own pace, without being told to do "several things at the same time".


My mom said no on college, even community college. To be honest, I don't do well with homework. I can't focus myself enough to do it... because its not in my routine. It's hard for me to do it and in study hall, same thing... distractions and constant sensory overloads that the study skills teacher didn't do s**t about. I do have a very extreme case of anxiety that causes a lot of problems for me.


_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive


Roman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,298

26 May 2011, 12:14 am

iheartmegahitt wrote:
My mom said no on college, even community college.


You don't have to listen to your mom you are an adult.

iheartmegahitt wrote:
To be honest, I don't do well with homework. I can't focus myself enough to do it... because its not in my routine.


If you go to college it will BECOME your "routine". So you will be able to do it then.

iheartmegahitt wrote:
It's hard for me to do it and in study hall, same thing... distractions and constant sensory overloads that the study skills teacher didn't do sh** about.


You can find a location where there are no distractions and do your homework there. It doesn't have to be "study hall".


iheartmegahitt wrote:
I do have a very extreme case of anxiety that causes a lot of problems for me.


If it is homework you can do it at your own location and pace. So anxiety might no longer be an issue.



iheartmegahitt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!

26 May 2011, 12:21 am

Roman wrote:
iheartmegahitt wrote:
My mom said no on college, even community college.


You don't have to listen to your mom you are an adult.

iheartmegahitt wrote:
To be honest, I don't do well with homework. I can't focus myself enough to do it... because its not in my routine.


If you go to college it will BECOME your "routine". So you will be able to do it then.

iheartmegahitt wrote:
It's hard for me to do it and in study hall, same thing... distractions and constant sensory overloads that the study skills teacher didn't do sh** about.


You can find a location where there are no distractions and do your homework there. It doesn't have to be "study hall".


iheartmegahitt wrote:
I do have a very extreme case of anxiety that causes a lot of problems for me.


If it is homework you can do it at your own location and pace. So anxiety might no longer be an issue.


But... you really don't understand. I maybe be an adult but I have the mind of a child. It's much harder for me to function at the level an adult than what people think. I get stressed way too easily. I hate change and I hate being without my laptop with me or even my cellphone. I can't do these things because I seriously get so panicked that I literally crash into a huge mess of sobbing and panic. I had a hard enough time getting through high school. It's not as easy for me as you think.


_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive


Roman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,298

26 May 2011, 3:41 am

iheartmegahitt wrote:
But... you really don't understand. I maybe be an adult but I have the mind of a child. It's much harder for me to function at the level an adult than what people think. I get stressed way too easily. I hate change and I hate being without my laptop with me or even my cellphone. I can't do these things because I seriously get so panicked that I literally crash into a huge mess of sobbing and panic. I had a hard enough time getting through high school. It's not as easy for me as you think.


You can easily carry around your laptop and cellphone with you while going to college. In fact, most college students DO carry cell phones and laptops with them! As far as not liking change, like I said there are ways to choose settings in which you do homework that are comfortable for you.

Okay let me ask you more general question. The fact that you are "still 8" in some sense is not going to make you live longer. Your life expectancy is consistent with someone who is 22. So do you want to spend the rest of your life not doing much and then regret it when you are old and can't do anything about it?

So why don't you try to do something now, as hard as it might be? I mean it is not just going to magically get easier if you sit and wait. On the other hand, it CAN get easier if you try to go to college now which might encourage you to learn new skills that you don't have. So, since you know you don't want to waste your entire life, you know you have to do something at SOME point. So why not now?



nostromo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,320
Location: At Festively Plump

26 May 2011, 3:52 am

iheartmegahitt wrote:
But... you really don't understand. I maybe be an adult but I have the mind of a child. It's much harder for me to function at the level an adult than what people think. I get stressed way too easily. I hate change and I hate being without my laptop with me or even my cellphone. I can't do these things because I seriously get so panicked that I literally crash into a huge mess of sobbing and panic. I had a hard enough time getting through high school. It's not as easy for me as you think.

I would add, you don't seem to have the mind of a child. Obviously you have significant disabilities that cause you functioning problems but thats different from a child like mind. For example an 8yr old would not have the reasoning that you have (I know this, I have a 9yr old girl).
Also liking the things children often like, such as kids cartoons and Axel doesn't make you a child, it just means you like those things.



iheartmegahitt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!

26 May 2011, 3:59 am

Roman wrote:
iheartmegahitt wrote:
But... you really don't understand. I maybe be an adult but I have the mind of a child. It's much harder for me to function at the level an adult than what people think. I get stressed way too easily. I hate change and I hate being without my laptop with me or even my cellphone. I can't do these things because I seriously get so panicked that I literally crash into a huge mess of sobbing and panic. I had a hard enough time getting through high school. It's not as easy for me as you think.


You can easily carry around your laptop and cellphone with you while going to college. In fact, most college students DO carry cell phones and laptops with them! As far as not liking change, like I said there are ways to choose settings in which you do homework that are comfortable for you.

Okay let me ask you more general question. The fact that you are "still 8" in some sense is not going to make you live longer. Your life expectancy is consistent with someone who is 22. So do you want to spend the rest of your life not doing much and then regret it when you are old and can't do anything about it?

So why don't you try to do something now, as hard as it might be? I mean it is not just going to magically get easier if you sit and wait. On the other hand, it CAN get easier if you try to go to college now which might encourage you to learn new skills that you don't have. So, since you know you don't want to waste your entire life, you know you have to do something at SOME point. So why not now?


So you think that going to college where I could become even more stressed, so much so that I literally scream bloody murder and make peoples ears start bleeding? Sure, I'd love to... but really, you are missing my POINT. I have severe and very extreme issues when it comes to stress and anxiety. A JOB NOR COLLEGE is a good idea for me. I've had a job once and nearly came close to hurting myself because I was so stressed.

It's not my fault for being the way I am. I have more problems than meets the eye. No one can understand me and the only way to get away from the world of being misunderstood is being isolated until someone sees I need the help. I'm not going to put myself under that amount of stress because unless you want me to go through a whole suicidal rampage than it's best if I stay away from college or even getting a job.

I wanted to die in high school at times, I would make up excuses so my parents could come get me. I would be sitting there on the phone with my mom... crying because I wanted to come home. It was so hard for me because I didn't like school at all and there was really no reason why... I just hated it. I always have so each time I had meltdowns at school and I didn't want to be there... so if you think I could handle college, than yeah... as if. I couldn't even handle high school. I was so stressed for no reason that I wanted to DIE rather than deal with school.

My parents tried homeschooling me but it was hard for them to do. So I ended up having to go back to school and I was in resource classes but I still hated school. My mom would literally fight and scream at me just to get me to go; let alone out of my bed. I was even using my shoulder injury as an excuse just to stay home.

nostromo wrote:
iheartmegahitt wrote:
But... you really don't understand. I maybe be an adult but I have the mind of a child. It's much harder for me to function at the level an adult than what people think. I get stressed way too easily. I hate change and I hate being without my laptop with me or even my cellphone. I can't do these things because I seriously get so panicked that I literally crash into a huge mess of sobbing and panic. I had a hard enough time getting through high school. It's not as easy for me as you think.

I would add, you don't seem to have the mind of a child. Obviously you have significant disabilities that cause you functioning problems but thats different from a child like mind. For example an 8yr old would not have the reasoning that you have (I know this, I have a 9yr old girl).
Also liking the things children often like, such as kids cartoons and Axel doesn't make you a child, it just means you like those things.


But even so, I have the mind of a child but I guess its more in the level between eight and thirteen. So I really don't know because it seems to vary depending on my levels of stress. I mean I honestly can say that at times, I have the emotional development of a two year old. If I'm under constant stress where my anxiety levels have risen to an extreme, its so bad that I have to pinch my skin or even cause myself harm just to stop all the thoughts running in my head. I used to have suicidal thoughts as well but its soon passed since I've gotten just a bit better at managing.


_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive


Last edited by iheartmegahitt on 26 May 2011, 4:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

Seph
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 406
Location: In a space station in orbit around Saturn

26 May 2011, 6:17 am

iheartmegahitt wrote:
I notice how I'm very attached to my parents. If they don't go inside with me and pay for my things or whatever, I am prone to panic. I also can't go to friend's houses to spend the night or I get homesick extremely easily. I mena for a younger child this would be normal but I'm 22 and I still can't leave the house with a parent. I always have to carry around an Axel plushie everywhere I go, and even inside. I still enjoy watching baby cartoons and can't do any household chores without panicking and I also have a hard time remembering how to cook or do the laundry.

I'm not sure how this falls under but I just wonder if its possible to have Mental retardation with mild to moderate autism. I haven't been diagnosed as having mental retardation but its possible that I have it. I'm just curious as to the spectrum I would be on. I know that my IQ is around 75 to 80 which really isn't good. I was abused emotionally throughout elementary school and its as if my brain was forced to skip the elementary school level because I'm not good at it whatsoever...

So, any ideas to whether I have it with autism?


I'm not diagnosing you but, yes, in theory, it's very possible to have both mental retardation and autism. My step-nephew has both actually.

I don't really know what else you're asking in this thread. People suggested trying to go to work or go to school but it sounds like you flatly don't want to and I didn't read that you were looking for that kind of advice. So I'll just leave it at that. For what it counts, you do write well though.



iheartmegahitt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!

26 May 2011, 1:23 pm

Wikipedia wrote:
Borderline intellectual functioning is a categorization of intelligence wherein a person has below average cognitive ability (an IQ of 71–85), but the deficit is not as severe as mental retardation (70 or below).

Persons who fall into this categorization have a relatively normal expression of affect for their age, though their ability to think abstractly is rather limited. Reasoning displays a preference for concrete thinking. Others may describe such a person as "simple" or "a little slow". They are usually able to function day to day without assistance, including holding down a simple job and the basic responsibilities of maintaining a dwelling.


So there... but I think Sweetleaf is right, it is more driven by the anxiety of things. I have an extremely severe form of anxiety that makes it difficult for me; not to mention High Functioning Autism, ADHD and a slight learning disability as well. I am somewhat slower than most people though and at times I do have a hard time really catching on.


_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive


twix
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 67

26 May 2011, 2:41 pm

Quote:
the average IQ among black people is 85


I am sure that this is not true. The studies that showed this many years ago have been shown to be unreliable, based on biased data to prove the pre-existing racist views of those researchers.



twix
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 67

26 May 2011, 2:54 pm

Hello Iheart, I know how hard it can be having these problems, I think that it is quite normal for ADHD people to feel like they are much younger than others the same age.

I think that if you can work through your anxieties and work out some control strategies then you will get through this and things will get better in time.

I suspect that you are not ret*d as such, I am only guessing from what you wrote, but it seems to me that you had a horrible time at school, and that its very scary for you the idea of growing up. I think that being scared is affecting your abilities rather than you being unable to things permanently. Once you get your anxiety under better control, and as you get to know yourself a bit better, you will find that your confidence increases and you will surprise yourself.

So what I am saying is hang on in there, and try to sort your head out a bit. Work out what is making you anxious and then try to work out if that thing is likely to be a problem today, or if its something to write down and let the worry go to the back of your mind. Easier said than done, I know.

Take care



Seph
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 406
Location: In a space station in orbit around Saturn

26 May 2011, 3:17 pm

twix wrote:
Quote:
the average IQ among black people is 85


I am sure that this is not true. The studies that showed this many years ago have been shown to be unreliable, based on biased data to prove the pre-existing racist views of those researchers.


I had about the same reaction. I'm not comfortable with just saying the average IQ of specific races is different. I believe it leads to bigotry. Looking it up though it seems the average IQ gap of various races is real. The IQ gap of individual members of different races is not. People fall all along the IQ spectrum whatever their race happens to be. This tells me that the average IQ gap isn't actually because of race, but because of other external factors that the culture of the member's race plays a part of, such as education. It's complicated though. There isn't one contributing factor to it. The gap is actually getting smaller as time goes on.

I read it on the internet so it must be true!